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Lose Weight and Stay Fit Forever

The hidden secret to weight loss success

by Melina Kunifas  |  5533 views  |  6 comments  |        Rate this now! 

There is one thing that is totally missing from every diet and weight-loss program ever created.

When you first start losing weight, how do you feel? Do you feel excited, proud of yourself?What do you feel when you notice that you’ve already fallen off the wagon? Do you feel angry with yourself, or do you feel like a failure? Do you just feel like eating even more?

When we start a new diet or exercise program, we get fired up, and might even throw away the foods we know are not good for us. We feel motivated! But let me tell you a bit about motivation. Motivation comes in two flavors: “Pure Motivation” and “Dirty Motivation.”

Pure Motivation is based on love and appreciation -- we want to look good, and feel energized and healthy. Dirty motivation, on the other hand, is based on fear and hatred -- we are afraid of looking bad and are worried about failing; we want to change because we hate the way we look.

The secret to losing weight, getting fit, and staying fit forever is this: Get rid of the dirty motivation and become purely motivated.

Once you make peace with yourself, start appreciating and loving yourself for who you truly are, increase your level of confidence and self-esteem (which many times is not even related to our weight), then any diet or program will work. Even those that you’ve already done in the past that worked for a little while will start working consistently.

I have been there. I know your pain really well. I’ve struggled all my life trying to get in shape because I hated the way I looked. I was always trying to lose weight to fit in, feel successful, and raise my self-esteem. However, once I started to raise my self-esteem and confidence, the weight began to drop off and stay off. Today I exercise and eat well because I just love it!

Here are a few tips that helped me:

1.) Stop dieting for a while. Does that sound strange and scary? I am not saying you should go straight to the fridge and start eating everythig you see in front of you. For many of us, diet means punishment. Right now we are learning how to love and appreciate ourselves, so it’s not time for beating ourselves up.

2.) Make a list of all the advantages and positive emotions of eating too much. You heard me right! There are pros about keeping a bad habit, otherwise we would have stopped already. We need to identify these advantages, so we can fill our needs with new good habits.

3.) Buy nice clothes. Don’t wait until you lose the weight to start dressing nicely. You don’t have to go crazy and buy the whole store. Buy a few outfits that you really love and wear them, no matter what size you are. Seeing ourselves in sweat pants and a T-shit everyday does not help build a positive self-image.

About the Author

Melina Kunifas is a Life Coach and Speaker who’s struggled all her life with weight and self-esteem issues. Now in a very comfortable place with herself, she thrives on helping others achieve the same. For more information, contact her at or at 1-866-774-8317, or visit her at:

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6 comments so far...

  • I've tried using Adipex to lose weight and it works for me. I purchased it online in

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Cora on 8th February 2010

  • Diane, I think one of the major reasons I worked on my issues so much (and still work) is because I don't want to pass them on to my children. Not only the ones related to weight but any limiting believes I was brought up with. Unfortunately many of us are raise focusing on the limits, and just a few on the possibilities. So my goal as a mom and Coach is to help my kids and others see the amazing possibilities life offers them.
    thanks for the comment.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Melina Kunifas on 7th February 2008

  • I had never thought of it that way, but you are absolutely right in your observation that there are two types of motivation. I went through years of the bad kind as a child and teenager, and have since moved on to better things. But the memory sticks with me and, as I've already said elsewhere on this site, I hope I can help my little girl grow up with healthy self-esteem so she can avoid this sort of anguish. Anyway, this is wonderful advice. Thanks so much for sharing this.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Diane on 6th February 2008

  • I am happy this article can help some of you a bit :-)

    Kate, I know what you mean about being tricky to go from dirty to pure motivated. The problem is that it's impossible to put all that's involved in the process in a simple article. The aim of this text was to send a few tips, make people see the issue from a different perspective and break a few limiting believes. Maybe one day I'll write a whole book about it. For now, I'll keep writing articles and helping people one-one ;-)
    thanks for the comments

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Melina Kunifas on 5th February 2008

  • Great article, Melina! I especially like the last tip - treating myself like my best friend.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by SK on 4th February 2008

  • wow this is a great article and it really resonates with me! any time i have been successful i have followed similar steps and didnt even realize it! i always wondered why i have had a hard time with the weight/food portion of my life and here i think you helped clarify that a bit. however, the transition from 'dirty' to 'pure' motivation is a tricky one! thank you for the roadmap!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 4th February 2008