Do you ever visit other working moms’ homes and wonder how they keep theirs so neat? Do you ever looks around your own home -- toys strewn over the floor, laundry piles (both clean and dirty) clamoring for attention, three meals worth of dishes stacked next to the sink -- and wonder if you are the only mom on the planet who cannot keep up with her home?
If so, then you may be suffering from TOMHANTY (Thinking Other Moms’ Homes Are Neater Than Yours) Syndrome. The symptoms of this terrible disease are guilt, envy, stress, and withdrawal (did I mention guilt?). You wonder how your home could have gotten so messy since yesterday. You believe that the new friend you just made at the library would never let her house look like a tornado just went through it. You are sure that your playgroup friends would never have dust bunnies the size of ... well, a bunny.
Welcome to the Real Moms Club, where it is not just about being a mom, but also about being real and knowing that you don’t have to be a perfect housekeeper. Maybe in the so-called Good Old Days of our grandmothers, when kids could roam around unsupervised and a mom's house was a reflection of who she was as a woman, but today, many moms have a different set of priorities, and a perfect house is not usually the highest on the list.
Stop telling yourself that you are not a good mom because your house is not always as neat as you think other moms’ homes are. Most moms are struggling to keep up as well. What is the cure to TOMHANTY Syndrome, you ask? Well, you could drop by a friend’s house unannounced and watch her face turn beet red with shame as she tries to ignore wreck of toys, laundry, and dishes behind her. Or you could just take me at my word when I say that you are not alone.
Release your guilt by making list of what you DID accomplish today instead. It all counts toward making your house a home in which your family can grow and feel loved.