Like most little girls (and some boys), I always dreamed about what my family would look like when I was grown up. As I got older and had boyfriends I thought I’d marry (although thank goodness I didn’t!), I had even more specific ideas of what my life would be—how many kids we’d have, what sexes I’d like them to be, where we’d live, and how we’d balance work and parenting.
When my boyfriend-now-husband and I started talking about having a family, we decided almost immediately that two kids would be our max (both for the sake of our sanity and of our finances), but we didn’t easily agree on the when and where and what and why of the rest of it. In fact, I think the only other detail we saw eye-to-eye on is that we’d like to have a girl…and now here we are with two boys. Ah, the best laid plans…
I always wanted to be a “young” mom—meaning I thought I’d be done having kids by 30—but the way things turned out, I had my first at 29 and my second at 33. I also never thought I’d be a work-from-home mom, and yet here I sit, working from home while the baby naps in the other room andthe older kid is at preschool, where he goes five days a week. I never thought I’d want to move back to Utah, where I grew up, but over the past few years I’ve seen how having kids can dramatically shift my priorities such that being close to extended family becomes more important than living somewhere cutting-edge and cool.
Now that I’m here, living this life, I of course love my family the way it is and wouldn’t change a thing. But that imagined life…I still think about it sometimes, about what might have been if I’d been in charge rather than Nature and Chance.
Does your family look like you thought it would?