By Stephanie Elliot for Betty Confidential
In a rare moment of intimacy, when my husband and I are in the house at the same time, two kids are at school, and the last one is sitting quietly in front of the TV, we are like two ships in the night, gliding past one another in our bedroom - he, getting dressed for work; me, about to hop into the shower.
We glance at one another, and I see it in his eyes. I am feeling it too, and I move in for what I want.
It's not what you think. I am after some N.S.A.
I want a full body, skin-to-skin hug to connect us, so I step into his arms. We hold each other for a few minutes and I whisper to him that I wish we could just get into bed and lie together all morning like this.
Of course, he gets the wrong idea, because what I really meant was, "I wish we could just get into bed and lie together all morning like this."
He replies, "I'll take care of you." I think this means he will continue to hug me and maybe rub my back a while, push the hair from my face, kiss me sweetly and tell me he loves me while I rest with my eyes closed, relishing in the quietness of the house while he and I reconnect in the midst of a busy week.
He's thinking Orgasm.
His Orgasm. Not mine. Which I can't blame him because he knows under no circumstances (OK, possibly at midnight when I am sure all three kids are asleep and I have just finished a bottle of wine), will I be able to relax enough to do this when there is a remote chance we could be interrupted by children.
But, today, I figure we might as well make a go for it because with only a third of our children home, the odds are in our favor that we won't get interrupted. I quickly check on our preschooler and find him engrossed in the antics of Dora and Boots, and there's still 20 minutes left in the episode. Houston, we have lift-off!
But, of course, as soon as those initial sparks ignite, on perfect cue we hear our preschooler yell, "Mom, I need you to tie my pants!"
"I can't! I'm getting in the shower so I'll do it in a minute!" I reply.
Footsteps approach the bedroom door: "Daddy can do it for me!"
A simultaneous "No!" erupts from our side of the door as we look to each other in terror, all passion fizzling.
It's just not like it used to be. Sex now, 12 years and three kids later ... well, you tell me an easy way to "get busy."