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I was at the office some time ago, reveling in the relative peace and solitude of working at my desk at the office instead of being smack dab in the middle of our chaotic family room, when I got this email from our second-oldest child:
When are you coming home? I miss you.
Instantly, I wished I was home.
Has that every happened to you? You’re secure in your choice and/or need to work — more than that, really, you are happy about working outside of the home — except when, suddenly, you’re not.
What do you do?
I’d like to say that I shut down my computer, announced to my boss and coworkers that I was needed elsewhere, and jetted home to my kids immediately. But I didn’t. I emailed her back — something loving and supportive that included a link to I Can Haz Cheeseburger or something funny like that — and got back to work.
And now, months later, I’m still wishing I had just shut everything off and gone home.
What would you have done?
This entry was posted on Thursday, June 5th, 2008 at 12:38 am and is filed under Parenting, The Juggle, Working? Living?.
June 5th, 2008 at 1:41 am
I love I Can Haz cheeseburger!
Anyway, that has to be the most adorable e-mail message one can receive. As of late, I only receive e-mails and offline messages from hubby.
But it would be nice if my son does that when he turns 4.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:20 am
My daughter is a little young for email. But I’ve definitely been sitting at my desk and suddenly been bowled over by that feeling before. The sudden, intense longing for my child. I wish I could say that I got up and left, but the fact is that it just isn’t possible to walk out on your job any more than it is possible to walk out on your kids when they are driving you nuts. I’ve been sitting at home and suddenly wished for an adult to talk to, as well. But I didn’t get up and leave the baby on her own. It’s just the way life is. Duty calls, no matter who you are.
June 5th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Like Robyn says, it’s all about duty. Some mornings I just want to play hooky and stay home with my girl all day, but we both have places we should be. It is a good life lesson. I know I nagged my mom all the time when she was at work but she never came home for me unless I was sick or really needed her. It’s good for a kid to know that sometimes others’ needs come before his/her wants.
June 5th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Although there is a time and a place for it, I’m a big fan of playing hookey. Not every time, or even often - but sometimes. It’s those moments that we’ll remember when our kids are huge and busy. It’s those moments THEY will remember when we are old and bored and want their attention. : )
I agree, kids should know that no one is at their beck and call, and that sometimes other people’s needs come first. But I think sometimes it’s great to show them that you’ll put everything on the back burner for them just because they miss you. It teaches them something about work life balance - something they’ll need when they’re our age!
Apart from maybe surgeons or ER doctors, none of us are so important at work that we can’t take a little bit of time for ourselves once in a while. Again, I think it should be rare, or else it is not special. But I think it’s important once in a while.
June 5th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I’ve gotten this message, usually by IM, and done exactly what you did. But it hurt my heart.
June 6th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
For me, it would have all depended on the day. Sometimes I am just itching for an excuse to leave early and go home. Sometimes not even a family emergnecy could keep me away from my work. Most days, I am more than comfortable with my decisions to stay or leave.
If you are still feeling pangs about the choice, I say take an afternoon off and suprise your child with a special day with mom. Maybe a fancy lunch out just the two of you. Or pull her out of school for a trip to the movies. Sometimes kids just need to feel extra special.
June 7th, 2008 at 1:44 am
My daughter has a new habit of telling me that she is really going to miss me when I drop her off at school. It makes me really sad but I try to remind her of something fun we may do when I pick her up…
June 8th, 2008 at 12:12 am
Emotionally whatever you think is important, lets face it,practically is it possibleto shut down the computers and to rush home..
June 13th, 2008 at 9:49 am
As a physician, it is really hard to take off unscheduled days. But it is so hard not to feel guilty about not spending enough time with my kids.