I feel like I should make the effort to festoon the house with ghouls and goblins — or at least pumpkins and bales of hay. Most of the houses in my sleepy little New England town slipped into full fall regalia the instant the leaves started changing; people around here hang out cute little flags with various icons celebrating various holidays at various times of year. Mailbox poles are twined with fake foliage, small orange pumpkins and warty-looking gourds sit atop stone walls, autumn-themed banners are hung by front doors.

Not at my house. Oh sure, as we get closer to Halloween, I’ll scoop the brains out of a pumpkin or two, carve eye holes and a crooked mouth, and set a tealight inside and call it good, and there will be plenty of candy for little trick-or-treaters, but don’t count on any splendid decorations, because, truth be told, I don’t have the time. But, also, I don’t have the inclination. Forgive me, Martha Stewart, for I have sinned: I don’t decorate. Read the rest of this entry »

Who is in charge in your household? The typical American home has seen a major change since the 1950s and 1960s, researchers say, with the majority of the important decisions now being made by women.

According to a new poll released last week by the Pew Research Center, 43 percent of respondents said that the woman makes the decisions in more of four key areas — household finances, weekend activities, big purchases for the home, and who controls the TV remote — than men. The guys have the upper hand in about 26 percent of all couples, and 31 percent said that they split decision-making responsibilities — even though that answer wasn’t one of the options given in the poll.

Pants for everyone!

But here’s the real news, buried in the poll results: In dual-income couples, it is the woman who has more say, regardless of whether she earns more or less than her partner. Read the rest of this entry »

I am Gen X through and through. Born in the early ’70s, came of age in the ’80s, started my career in ’90s, started a family of my own in the ’00s.

Growing up, I never, ever heard that I couldn’t do something because I was a girl. Because I was too young? Sure. Because power tools are dangerous if you don’t know how to use them? Absolutely. But because I was female? Never.

Does that make me a feminist by default? Read the rest of this entry »

I was filling my car up with gas last week (and having a minor heart attack because, my God, $55 to fill up the beater Saab I was driving that day? It’s like adding insult to injury) when the woman approached.

She looked to be in her late 40s. Windblown hair, flower-print blouse, minimal makeup. Looked like a harried mom who maybe needed help finding an obscure street in my tiny New England town. Looked like she was sure I’d say “No” if she asked me anything. So I made up my mind to say “Yes.”

“Excuse me, but can I ask you a question?”

“Yes!” I said brightly, one hand on the nozzle. My brothers like to joke that I can’t find my way out of a wet, upside-down, brown-paper bag, but if she needed directions, I would do my best.

“Have you ever thought about earning a little extra income from home?”

My first thought: Who hasn’t?

My second thought: Crrraaaaaap. She’s doing a sales pitch. And with the gas pump ticking away and my car keys in my pocket, I was a captive audience. It’s like a taking a call from a telemarketer times infinity, because you can’t really hang up on one when she’s standing in front of you. Read the rest of this entry »

On Monday, when Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin confirmed that her 17-year-old daughter Bristol is five months pregnant, leaders of both political parties agreed that the situation was not for political consumption, with Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama saying outright that the children and families of the candidates are “off limits.”

Makes sense. The kids didn’t choose to be in the public spotlight — their parents did. Their actions shouldn’t reflect on their parents’ qualifications or abilities. As many, many people have pointed out: Life happens. You deal with it.

That said, I think that if Bristol Palin and her pregnancy are “a private family matter” and off limits, 19-year-old Track and his decision to join the Army should be, too. Not to mention baby Trig and his special needs.

You can’t insist on excluding from debate the potential impact of a child who’s done something socially unacceptable if you’re willing to use another child’s “good” behavior or medical disability to bolster a candidate’s political image. If one kid is off limits, then all of the kids should be off limits. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been steeped in coverage of Hurricane Gustav this weekend (when I haven’t been glued to the coverage of John McCain’s choice of working mom Sarah Palin for VP) and, in spite of the surprisingly good weather we’ve been having in Massachusetts, I find myself worrying about disaster preparedness.

What would we do if, like the residents of Louisiana, we had to evacuate? Read the rest of this entry »

When people talk about working mothers, it’s usually in the context of how we juggle work and family, how we want to maximize time with our kids, how we can (or can’t) have it all, daycare vs. hiring a nanny, and working at home vs. working out of the home vs. being a stay-at-home mom. What they don’t talk about, usually, is how having two parents who work full time impacts your relationship with your spouse.

I may not have much “me” time, but lately I’ve come to realize that my husband and I have had even less “we” time than usual. And that’s probably not a good thing. Read the rest of this entry »

I just got home from the airport. My three big kids are winging their way back to their mom and stepdad as I type this, and my husband and I have just tucked two heartbroken little kids into their beds. My husband is venting in the garage, working on one of his many car-related projects. I’m throwing myself into my work. The only things that makes this bearable is the fact that I know they had a fun summer and I know how excited they are to see their mom and stepdad again. The fact that there are people who love them dearly on both sides of this flight, people who have missed them the way we miss them now.

This stepmothering thing… you get used to it. You learn how to manage and juggle. But it never really gets easier. At least, it hasn’t for me, even nearly 10 years into it. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been a bit overwhelmed recently. Not with work, per se, but with trying to juggle all of the things I’ve got going on right now — when you put it all together, well, there’s a lot on my plate, and it can leave me feeling uninspired and unmotivated.

I’m sure you can relate to that feeling. I like to pretend I’m SuperMom but, of course, I’m not (I don’t even come with interchangeable heads — I feel like the frazzled one has been attached for the past few weeks).

So I thought I’d share with you a few of the places I turn to when I need a bit of inspiration (besides Work It, Mom! of course)… Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve all experienced it at one time or another: The Mommy Drive-By. When a someone — a relative, another mom, a total stranger — takes it upon herself to question your judgment or criticize your parenting.

Single moms get flak about their social lives. Step moms are looked down upon for not being “a real parent.” Breast-feeding mamas get hit when they nurse their child in public; formula-feeding mothers get the evil eye when they whip out a bottle instead of a breast. Mothers from all walks of life are questioned for decisions large and small. And working mothers, well, they get a little bit of “all of the above.” Read the rest of this entry »