My 4-year-old wants to be a unicorn for Halloween, which is tomorrow. Last night, I finally pulled out a hand-me-down bunny costume and thought about how I’d magically turn it into a unicorn, when it occurred to me to have her try it on first. You know, to see if it fit. Though, honestly, if it didn’t, I had no backup plan. While I will be the first to cop to my planning-obsessive nature, I also have to admit that I have a tendency to put things off until the last minute. It’s not just that I work well on deadline; it’s because I am the Queen of Procrastination. Read the rest of this entry »

I was watching my kids interact today, and it occurred to me that they’re like a bunch of magnets, shaken up in one of those cups you use in Vegas to roll the dice and spilled out onto the table. Sometimes, they’re all glommed together, five wildly different kids at five wildly different ages, somehow forming a cohesive unit. Other times, it’s as if they’re all negatively charged, scattering throughout the house, caroming against and away from one another.

Call me idealistic, but I’m pretty sure the latter happens because of their ages and developmental stages — we’ve got a teenager, a pre-teen, a tween, a preschooler, and a toddler right now — and not because only two of them were born to me. Read the rest of this entry »

I just got home from the airport. My three big kids are winging their way back to their mom and stepdad as I type this, and my husband and I have just tucked two heartbroken little kids into their beds. My husband is venting in the garage, working on one of his many car-related projects. I’m throwing myself into my work. The only things that makes this bearable is the fact that I know they had a fun summer and I know how excited they are to see their mom and stepdad again. The fact that there are people who love them dearly on both sides of this flight, people who have missed them the way we miss them now.

This stepmothering thing… you get used to it. You learn how to manage and juggle. But it never really gets easier. At least, it hasn’t for me, even nearly 10 years into it. Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve all experienced it at one time or another: The Mommy Drive-By. When a someone — a relative, another mom, a total stranger — takes it upon herself to question your judgment or criticize your parenting.

Single moms get flak about their social lives. Step moms are looked down upon for not being “a real parent.” Breast-feeding mamas get hit when they nurse their child in public; formula-feeding mothers get the evil eye when they whip out a bottle instead of a breast. Mothers from all walks of life are questioned for decisions large and small. And working mothers, well, they get a little bit of “all of the above.” Read the rest of this entry »

My preschooler has been having a bit of what I call “Mama Drama” lately, usually right before bed (when she knows I have to log on and work from home once she’s asleep) or when I drop her off at school (when she knows I’m leaving so I can go to the office). It starts with a long sad look, shoulders drooping, glancing sideways to see if I’ve noticed. If I seem not to have, she adds a snuffle and a sniffle, sometimes wiping her (dry) eyes for dramatic effect.

You know the effect Kryptonite had on Superman? Well, for this SuperMom, Mama Drama does the same thing. It kills me. Read the rest of this entry »

I was at the office some time ago, reveling in the relative peace and solitude of working at my desk at the office instead of being smack dab in the middle of our chaotic family room, when I got this email from our second-oldest child:

When are you coming home? I miss you.

Instantly, I wished I was home.

Has that every happened to you? You’re secure in your choice and/or need to work — more than that, really, you are happy about working outside of the home — except when, suddenly, you’re not.

What do you do?

I’d like to say that I shut down my computer, announced to my boss and coworkers that I was needed elsewhere, and jetted home to my kids immediately. But I didn’t. I emailed her back — something loving and supportive that included a link to I Can Haz Cheeseburger or something funny like that — and got back to work.

And now, months later, I’m still wishing I had just shut everything off and gone home.

What would you have done?

When I’ve got several articles to write and even more to edit and traffic was ridiculous and the baby is screaming and the big kids are arguing and dinner’s not ready yet and there’s a bill from the orthodontist waiting at home with more than two zeros before the decimal point, I look at the chaos and think, “Man, this might make for a good story.”

The thing about being a journalist is that you tend to be on the look out for story ideas all the time, everywhere. And when you do get around to writing them all up, not everything in your notebook ends up in your story. And then, once your editor has gotten a hold of it, you’ll find that not everything you put in your story ends up in the published version (I’m a newspaper editor in real life, so I can vouch for this — I do a lot of trimming). What are you supposed to do with all of those ideas that you don’t have time to work on yet? Read the rest of this entry »

My kids are tucked in bed, snoring softly. My husband went to bed a couple hours ago. Even the dog is asleep. And here I am, typing…

Last week the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warned that adults in the United States aren’t getting enough sleep. And that not getting enough sleep can lead to a host of medical issues, including depression, cardiovascular problems, and high blood pressure. In fact, the percentage of adults reporting that they get six hours of sleep or less per night has grown over the last 20 years. (The National Sleep Foundation suggests that adults get seven to nine hours of sleep per night.)

Now, the fact that we’re not getting enough sleep is certainly not news to anyone juggling work and parenthood. This week (March 3-9) is National Sleep Awareness Week but, while I do feel obligated to do my part and go to bed, I feel more obligated to get my work done and pay my bills. Read the rest of this entry »

One of the things I always tell other parents — especially other working moms who are struggling with their juggling of career and motherhood — is that they shouldn’t feel guilty for letting their little kids watch TV if they need to get their work done.

It’s something I really believe is OK. It’s something I do more often than I’d like. And it’s something that makes me feel like a total hypocrite because, half a lifetime ago, when I was a nanny, I never turned the TV on when the kids were around. Ever.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m sick. Again.

(Of course, I’m at work. Why do you ask?)

The other night, my husband remarked that, in the past few months, both he and I have been sick more frequently than ever before. But why? Sure, we’re overworked, but not any more than we’ve always been. We’ve been eating more healthily, exercising more often — OK, that’s a lie, he’s been exercising, I’ve been, um… look over there! Something shiny!

Really, though, we couldn’t figure out why we were caught in this cycle of sinus headaches and hacking coughs. We feebly tossed around a few more ideas (is it the weather? Do we need vitamins?) while my husband reminded L. to cover her mouth when she sneezed and I wiped O.’s streaming nose for the umpteenth time, and then it hit us … Read the rest of this entry »