On Monday, when Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin confirmed that her 17-year-old daughter Bristol is five months pregnant, leaders of both political parties agreed that the situation was not for political consumption, with Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama saying outright that the children and families of the candidates are “off limits.”

Makes sense. The kids didn’t choose to be in the public spotlight — their parents did. Their actions shouldn’t reflect on their parents’ qualifications or abilities. As many, many people have pointed out: Life happens. You deal with it.

That said, I think that if Bristol Palin and her pregnancy are “a private family matter” and off limits, 19-year-old Track and his decision to join the Army should be, too. Not to mention baby Trig and his special needs.

You can’t insist on excluding from debate the potential impact of a child who’s done something socially unacceptable if you’re willing to use another child’s “good” behavior or medical disability to bolster a candidate’s political image. If one kid is off limits, then all of the kids should be off limits. Read the rest of this entry »

There’s a really interesting conversation starting in one of our discussion groups, where a member asked if anyone feels pressure at work because they’re black. The question struck a chord with me and really made me think.

As you can see from my picture at the top of this page, I’m a woman of color. What you can’t see is that I’m a woman of many colors — my mom is from India, but she’s of Persian decent and looks Greek; my dad is from Haiti, but his family’s roots go back to France, Germany, Africa, and the Arawak Indians who were the natives of Haiti before everyone else got there. I’ve never been able to choose one facet of my ethnicity over another — when it comes to race, I’ve always checked “other”, and if “other” isn’t an option, I either check several different things or nothing at all. So when it comes to race in the workplace, I really have to think about where I stand and how, or if, it has affected me. Read the rest of this entry »

I keep running lists of things I never thought I’d say as a parent. You know, things like “Don’t lick the microwave” and “Pennies are not for eating” and “No, you can’t ride the dog.” The other day, as I flaked dried applesauce off of the sleeve of my favorite black blazer, I looked at the “Dora the Explorer” bandage on my cut finger and decided to start another list: My top 10 signs you’re a working Mom.

So, with apologies to David Letterman (and possibly Jeff Foxworthy), you know you’re a working mom if…

1.) You put things you’ve already done on your to-do list, just so you have something to cross off immediately.

2.) You’ve lost weight, and you realize that it’s probably because all you’re eating is whatever is left on your toddler’s plate after dinner.

3.) You’ve gained weight, and you realize that it’s probably because you’re eating whatever is left on your toddler’s plate after dinner in addition to your own meal. Read the rest of this entry »

I had a birthday recently. And I don’t feel a day over 40! Which is great, except for the fact that I turned 36.

A few years ago, I gave up writing my New Year’s Resolutions on New Year’s Eve and began writing them on my birthday instead. (Sound familiar? Nataly does something similar on her birthday. Could this introspection be a key to success as a working mother? I’d like to think so.)

When I was a kid, my New Year’s Resolutions were all about the things I thought I was supposed to be doing — practicing my violin every day, getting As in school, being nice to my brothers, etc. As I grew older, the resolutions changed, but the idea behind them didn’t; they were still about the things I thought I was supposed to be doing. Each year, I’d vow to lose weight (why did I want to do this? I had a killer body back then, and no idea what to do with it), ace my performance reviews at work (the same as getting As at school, really), learn how to be less of a control freak (about 10 years ago I decided that you can’t be a control freak if you can’t control yourself, and I set to work on that instead).

New Year’s Resolutions are supposed to be about bettering yourself, yes? Well now, firmly in my mid-30s, I’ve decided to make mine about bettering my life. So, here’s what I’m going to do, I hope, in the next 12 months: Read the rest of this entry »

I love being up early, but I’ve never been good at getting up early. I’m grouchy and groggy in the morning, even though I’m instantly awake multiple times in the middle of the night if any of the children so much as wimper. (Hmmm… connection, maybe? Nah.)

Right now, in order to get everyone and everything ready for 8 a.m. camp and school, I need to be up by 6. No matter how much I get done the night before, it seems that I still need that much time to get the ball rolling (or juggling, as the case may be) in the morning. This morning was so hectic, in fact, that I’m considering getting up even earlier, even though the idea of the alarm going off at 5:30 makes me cringe.

Once 9 a.m. rolls around, though, I’m raring to go. The problem is that by then I’m usually stuck in traffic on the way to work, crawling along the highway or hugging the speed limit on a winding back road. Read the rest of this entry »

I was supposed to write a short article recently about what I, personally, as a mom, do “just for me,” and I was stuck. I couldn’t think of a single thing.

Which is ridiculous, of course, because I must do some things just for me, right?

I used to get a massage once a month, but stopped late last year when we were faced with a bunch of unexpected household expenses, and suddenly it seemed unjustifiable to spend $75 a month on just myself. I don’t go clothes shopping for fun — even though our youngest is now 19 months old and I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight, my body hasn’t gotten back into it’s pre-pregnancy shape and probably never will, and that makes for a less-than-thrilling shopping adventure. I don’t take any cool classes or have a regular “girls’ night out” or get my nails done or have spa days in my candle-lit bathroom after the kids go to bed.

So, as I was rubbing my eyes and trying to write about how I spend my “me” time, I realized that, recently, in my daily work-life-career-parenting juggle, the “me” ball seems to have rolled under the couch and gotten lost among the dust bunnies. Read the rest of this entry »

I didn’t change my name when I got married.

There are many reasons: I was in my 30s by the time I walked down the aisle, I already had a career in my own name, with a reputation and bylines and even a book. I owned my home and car and other things outright, and changing my name on all of those legal documents was a hassle.

But, most of all, I kept my name because it was my name — I was used to it, and replacing it with my husband’s made me feel like I was faking it, somehow. Read the rest of this entry »

Bedtime is kind of my thing in our household. At first, it was because my husband worked nights and I was the “night-night parent” by default; now, I generally start the routine, hand off one freshly bathed small child to Daddy, and put the other small child to bed before making the rounds with the big three (who are old enough to get ready for bed on their own but still want — or, at least, allow — me to tuck them in and kiss them goodnight; they’ll be parents themselves before they understand how grateful I am for this).

Recently, after I’ve put our 3-year-old to bed and settled in with her for a cuddle, she’s been turning to me and saying, very seriously, “Mama. I can’t go to sleep right now. I have work to do.” Read the rest of this entry »