Why, hello! I feel like I’ve been away for months. Light-years. Have I? Well, no. In actuality I spent a work-related long weekend in another city, one that required plane travel to get there. Lots of us travel for work regularly, and we really should swap stories about maintaining sanity while traveling by air. Ready? I’ll go first:

Oh. Before I start spilling my secrets, I should tell you that I was married 10 years to an airline pilot. So I flew a LOT. With kids. Standby. Which means that now, flying with a real ticket! attached to a real seat! that I know I’ll get to sit in! and without three kids, one of whom is on my lap! is a real luxury. Even (almost) the middle seat.

1. Where do you sit? I used to like aisle seats, less-claustrophobic and more chance to stretch out one leg anyway (except when the carts go by), until I flew a red-eye last year next to a woman who clearly knew what she was doing. She boarded the plane, plugged in her iPod, leaned on her pillow against the window, and promptly went to sleep and stayed asleep (or pretended to) for the entire three-hour flight. I got to observe her closely while I writhed uncomfortably in my last-minute middle seat, unable to even cop a ten-minute pass-out head-bobbing snooze.

Given the choice, I will always book well in advance and ensure myself of that window seat, even if it’s a daytime flight. Don’t trust seemingly-helpful ticket-counter agents, however, who are employed at the next counter over from a different airline than the one you are traveling on: this past Monday I again writhed uncomfortably in middle seat after having been promised that “E” meant “aisle”. Maybe on a different aircraft it does.

But the aisle-or-window problem leads into the next point:

2. When they say to drink a lot of water they mean it. Take an empty plastic bottle through security and have the flight attendant fill it. The drinks served on airplanes are way too miniscule to do anyone any good, and you need lots of water. Oh, and I learned once on a transatlantic flight that alcohol + kids on lap + overnight flight to Paris + no sleep + bus ride to hotel = a sudden exquisite longing for an air sickness bag + one entire day of Paris gone to hell. So I don’t drink wine while flying anymore.

But…all that water has to go somewhere, doesn’t it? Which brings me back to the aisle-or-window quandary. Lots of water + window seat = climbing over other passengers. Frequently. And airplane bathrooms leave a bit to be desired, though getting up to walk around a bit is always a good idea.

Ooh! Good segue:

3. Don’t stay in your seat. I have been pinned to my seat many a time by sleeping children or reluctance to wake a sleeping seatmate by my need to get up. But moving around a little is one of the best things you can do. Failing that, stretch your legs a bit while in your seat from time to time. Deep-vein thrombosis looks like a drag.

4. The boredom factor. Why yes, I saw “Being Jane” both going and coming this past weekend. On two different airlines, no less. So I also packed two books, a magazine, a journal, and my laptop. (Said laptop now has ALL its files neatly organized, thank you!) Plus my iPod, with a variety of music. The most helpful music was actually some pieces designed for meditation, which helped my body relax and my mind to go into that daydream state.

If you have work to do while on the plane, set aside the boring stuff that you tend to overlook while at home or the office and do it on your flight; it looks way more interesting when on a plane and you’re looking to kill time (again! Look at my nice clean Macbook!) and you’ll appreciate it more.

The best thing, though, is sitting next to someone interesting. Usually I ask people about the book they’re reading and things go from there (this week I sat next to an Eckhart Tolle reader, and since I was returning from giving a metaphysical workshop, we had plenty to talk about!). I tend to get into a travel-zone while flying, erecting a mental barrier around myself, but reaching out through that barrier is much more satisfying in the end.

5. Lower your expectations. I think this is the biggest lesson I took with me from those ten years of standby travel. Kind of like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates: you never know what you’re going to get. And if you remain open to the unexpected, you can be assured that your flight will go exactly as you planned.

What are your tips for flying and staying sane?