I’m a planner. Some days it feels like my brain is about to explode because it’s so busy thinking about mundane stuff:

what am I going to make for dinner?

who needs clean clothes today?

what things are we out of…let me make a mental list

And then there’s the not-so-mundane stuff. A couple of nights ago my brain was awake all night going over conversations I might have with people, thinking about colors I might want to redecorate with some day, and planning and imagining stuff that I’m going to do three months from now (that last has something to do with a cat and a car so some advance thought is required, but three months’ worth?).

So the thing about all this planning and thought and imagining is that sometimes it doesn’t happen the way you thought it would.

And then what?

This happens to me all the time.

Like this morning. Grr. I am still berating myself for making a mistake in something I’ve been planning and imagining in my head for a couple of weeks, a mistake that cost me $200. Grr.

And I noticed my reaction made a sort of progression:

1. AAAAAGH!

2. I am so stupid/careless.

3. All right, let’s examine the options here.

4. Select option that makes the most sense.

5. Blog about it.

So I did pretty well, spending only a few minutes in #1 and #2. A better reaction would be to skip #2 entirely and go right to #3. I’m working on that. #5 is, of course, completely optional but does actually have the very useful effect of opening yourself up for ridicule by telling the entire Internets about your mistake giving yourself space to work through your feelings and responses about what happened.

But everyone has a different response to disappointment, and the better you can learn to weather sudden changes in plan the less stress you cause yourself from that feeling of being suddenly wrenched out of your little Happy Bubble World into a different reality entirely. Or…maybe that’s just me.

What is it they say? Oh yes, “Expect the unexpected.”

And it’s a great thought but I’m not sure we’re all wired to be able to do that easily or well. Have a look at your kids and you’ll see what I mean: some children naturally “transition” from one activity to another and others resist. Mightily. And we are the same way.

But we can train ourselves to respond differently even when there’s that inner feeling of OMG THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END BECAUSE IT’S NOT TURNING OUT THE WAY I THOUGHT. We can learn to move right past #2 and go on to #3, calmly (HA!) looking at our options (while visiting #1 again a few times just for fun) to see where we can go next. After all, whatever has happened has already happened and we can’t go back in time for a do-over, so we just have to deal with what’s there now.

So you take a breath, maybe a couple, see where you are and then go from there. Even with the big stuff. Big stuff, small stuff, it’s all the same.

Breathe and flow. Breathe and flow.