I’m not sure I believe her since my size 12 jeans are just comfy. So let’s just say I’m a 12.

Besides, I haven’t seen a size 10 or 12 since years before my second son was born.

Proud?

Yes.

Looking to get to single digits?

Oh yes.

But I need a new goal - something tangible I can measure with time. October 11th is BlogHer Boston and I plan on carpooling with a few good friends, thanks to GM.

My goal?

Size 10 by October 10th.

But how?

Ditching the unhealthy snacks I’ve been grabbing since we moved and the start of school took over my life. Getting back to the gym since we moved and the start of school took over my life. Grabbing and hanging on to a new routine since we moved and the start of school took over my life.

You get the idea. It’s been a busy couple of weeks but I’m going to get back on track.

Think I can lose a size in a month without resorting to drastic tactics?

We’ll see!

In the meantime, check out the dress from the wedding! Squee!

Holding back tears as my kid brother says his vows.

Oh hello, crows feet.

The maid of honour had just made us all cry with her speech. But yay! I have collarbones again!

1.  Procrastinating until the last minute.  Deadlines are motivating.

2.  Sucking it up and just doing it.  Pain works!

3.  Perfect planning, organization, and execution.

[If you are #3 I don't want to talk to you.  You are clearly a robot.  You can leave now.  Go!  Shoo!]

There, we’re alone now and we can talk.  I’m not a fan of pain, are you?  I hate making myself do stuff I don’t wanna.  It’s so much easier to pretend it’s not there as long as possible … and then do it.  You know, after I’ve let it hang over my head awhile, making me crazy.  I’m funny that way.

While the just-get-it-over-with approach has some merit, I’m proposing that instead we find ways to make procrastination work.  Here’s how:

1.  Procrastination lets you perfect the project without actually working on it.

I do a good part of my writing in my head.  I write a monthly column, and the two weeks before deadline are mostly spent letting the column write itself in my head.  I think about it in odd moments, knowing it’s working in the background, and then it’s easy enough to download when I’m actually ready to write (the day before deadline).

2.  Procrastination is good for the soul.

Used to the pain-reward approach?  Why not take your reward now instead?  If you’re used to just sucking it up and crossing the yucky tasks off your list first so you can reward yourself later with something enjoyable, mix it up once in awhile and do what you love first. It feels deliciously naughty, like eating dessert before dinner.  Or instead of dinner.

3.  Procrastination gives you a new perspective.

Often by waiting on something we end up looking at it much differently than we might have if we just plowed ahead and did it straight away.  Ever have project remorse?  Kick yourself afterward about all the ways you might have/could have done something better/different?  Procrastinating ends all that.  When you’re not in a hurry you allow things to ferment naturally, developing new flavors and textures that wouldn’t have occurred if you rushed it.

To make procrastination truly work for you, you need to give yourself permission to let go.  Letting something hang over your head to haunt your every waking moment is not the same as letting go temporarily.  Plus it’ll make you crazy, and do you really need more crazy?  Readjusting your priorities and allowing yourself to create new paradigms of productivity is a good thing.  Trust me.

Now go do something fun.  Tell them I said so.

Are you a just-do-it or a procrastinator?  How do you find balance in getting things done?

A few weeks ago I was in Portland Oregon attending a Law of Attraction workshop given by Esther and Jerry Hicks.  Esther channels the entity called Abraham, and their material on the Law of Attraction forms the basis of what has become a huge empire for Esther and Jerry.

It also works. Here’s what you can take from it:

1.  You can do it. The workshop’s atmosphere was almost that of a spiritual revival; a group high.  Make no mistake; that kind of atmosphere is really effective and changes lives.  It’s incredibly empowering to be bathed in the energy of positivity coming at you from every direction, and the overwhelming message from the day was that of encouragement:  you can do it.

2.  Be specific. Know what you want and then act as if you already have it.  We’re not just talking material goods here, although that’s a focus for a lot of people.  By being specific (and getting there can be a long process that takes months or even years) about the life you want, you create that life.

3.  Know yourself. Pay attention to who you are and the signals you give off.  Self-awareness takes work but it’s totally worth it.  Be ruthless in your self-appraisal but don’t get lost in a needless blame game.  Observe yourself and your reactions and patterns, and then decide if they are something you want to keep.

4.  Keep trying. Yoda says, “Do, or do not.  There is not try,” but I disagree.  You do get do-overs in life, at least as far as your own choices go.  If something doesn’t work the first time, don’t take it too hard.  Keep trying.  Re-evaluate if necessary, and try to find what you might have missed the first time.  Then try again.  The whole you can do it atmosphere really encourages and supports this.  Because you CAN.

5.  It should be FUN! This was maybe the biggest message I heard that day; Life.Is.Fun. We tend to make it haaarrrd.  And it doesn’t have to be that way.  Life can be joyful, and that’s something wonderful to strive for.  And being aligned with who we really are creates that.

Finding and staying aligned with who you are and what you want is a sure path toward finding more joy in your life.  And in the end, isn’t that what all of us are looking for?

1.  Return emails promptly.

Sometimes I was receiving up to 20 responses from a Freecycle ad, but I ALWAYS took time for at least a minimal response.  Having been on the other end of this, making countless fruitless inquiries that dropped off into oblivion, I know how important it is to at least receive something in the way of acknowledgment.  And in a relatively timely fashion as well.  When people order services from me on my website I make it a point to personally respond within 24 hours no matter what else is going on for me.  I’m surprised how many businesses FAIL at this basic element of customer service.

2.  Call people by their name.

I admit, I stole this one from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, which I read at 14. I still use its elements in every day life (I also learned how to perform a proper handshake, another essential life skill).  Call people by their name.  Can’t remember names?  Me neither.  I’m horrible with names.  When you meet someone, repeat their name out loud to them immediately and then find at least one more way to use their name before you move on.  Works every time.  And everyone loves the sound of their own name.

3.  Give appreciation when it counts.

Everyone wants to hear they did a good job, but being around someone who says it constantly makes the appreciation lose its meaning.  Be judicious but generous with praise, and people will lap it up and fall over themselves to continue pleasing.  Show your gratitude and your own world will fall into place also.

4.  Keep your promises.

This belongs with its corollary:  Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

Everyone understands that sometimes things happen, but who wants to do business/make playdates/be friends with someone who consistently breaks idealistic promises?  Don’t be that person.  Be realistic about what you can make good on, and then follow through.  Same goes for parenting.

5.  Be kind, rewind.

In other words, leave things as you found them.  Observe the Golden Rule.  Be the person you want others to be.

What other important life rules are you passing down to your kids?

I’m there to work out, get sweaty, and get out. Having 10 happy years of marriage under my belt, the last thing I care about is if male gym rats are looking in my direction.

At the women’s gym, I think the mindset is that we’re there to get our workout, not to impress each other. Most of us wear sensible clothing made of material that stretches and keeps us as cool as possible.

Once in a great while, a clueless girl or woman will arrive with the intention of turning heads. In. a. women’s. gym.

No, I don’t know why.

She’s tanned, has a perfectly flat ironed ponytail gathered up and through the back of an adorable hat, which matches her sweet little tank top, which of course matches her tiny shorts as well as those $200 pristine, never-seen-pavement shoes.

Okay fine, I make sure to match my clothes when I go to the gym.

She’s wearing makeup. Perfectly. Applied. Makeup. Oh okay, Makeup Miffy, WHATEVER.

This is where I laugh. If you’re really really at the gym to work out, newsflash: YOU ARE GOING TO SWEAT.

Let me know how that mascara feels on your retinas, you dumb twit.

She gets on the treadmill and immediately runs. No walking for her, no. She is an Athlete.

Is it wrong that I secretly want her to trip and fall?

Then there is the total opposite of Makeup Miffy: Sally Slob.

I don’t care if you have no money for all the expensive gym clothes on the market, you can go to the gym without looking like you raided your husband’s clothing that he uses to repair things around the house. Old t-shirts are fine but when they are 5 sizes too big, wrinkled and yellowing in the pits? Toss them!

Finally:

Dear Young Lassies Who are Clearly Products of the Local University,

Love,
Karen

Who is at your gym that makes you want to stick your foot out and trip laugh?

• we sat
• we walked
• we drank tea

I know, it sounds like a rip-roaring time, doesn’t it?  The wonderful thing about it, though, was the mindfulness applied to each simple action.  That was the point.  And the entire time I was there I was thinking* about how I could tell you how to find your own space of mindfulness in just five minutes a day.

Drink coffee, tea, or some other warm beverage in the morning?  Then use it as your starting point.  It only takes a few minutes.  Get your cup and sit down somewhere quiet** with it.  Feel the warmth in your hand for a moment, then when you are ready, take a sip.  Notice the muscles in your face moving and reacting.  Notice your lips and tongue.  Notice the aroma of your coffee or tea.  Notice how the edge of the cup feels against your lip.  Notice yourself swallowing.   Notice the flavor of what you are drinking.

Continue taking sips from your cup, allowing it to rest in your hands when you are not drinking, and simply notice each small part of every action.  Don’t attach judgment or evaluation to anything; simply notice what you are doing.

There.  Five minutes.  That’s mindfulness.

If you can do this daily, after awhile you’ll start to apply this same sense of mindfulness, being present in the moment, to other parts of your day.

And after awhile you’ll be noticing how serene your life has become.  Just from sipping coffee for five minutes a day.

*You’re absolutely right.  My monkey-mind was totally wandering.  I do so sacrifice for you!

**I well know the limitations of finding a quiet place.  Just do the best you can.  Lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to, if you can ignore the little fists hammering repeatedly from the other side.

How do you find a space of mindfulness in your day?

So how do we avoid sabotaging the hard work we’ve been doing?

Besides avoiding binge drinking (the obvious), there are certain drinks that will keep you within the routine of your new lifestyle.

Here’s a list of drinks to help keep your damage in check:

1) Rum & Diet Coke - if you can stand the aspartame, this one is only 65 calories.

2) Vodka & Soda - also 65 calories. Try it with flavored vodka to make it taste better!

3) White wine spritzer - 4 oz of white wine topped with soda - 80 calories.

4) Bloody Mary (1 oz. vodka, 4 oz. tomato juice, dash of Tabasco and pepper) - 90 calories

5) Lite beer - my favorite is Corona Light with a wedge of lime. 100 calories.

As always, please drink responsibly. Just because you’re having something with less calories, don’t be fooled into thinking you can have more of them. You’ll only do worse damage with this kind of thinking. Also if you have too much to drink, your lack of inhibitions will have you gorging on snack food too!

Another good tip is to drink a glass of water between drinks to keep your hands busy.

Having just one or two of the wrong drink can pack in a lot of unwanted calories. To give you an idea of the worst drinks to have:

1) Margarita in a pint glass (2 oz. tequila, 2 oz. margarita/sour mix, 1 oz. triple sec, lime juice, 1 tsp. sugar) - 550 calories

2) Mudslide (1.5 oz. coffee liqueur, 1.5 oz. Irish cream, 1.5 oz. vodka) - 417 calories

3) Long Island Ice Tea (1 oz. vodka, gin, rum, tequila, and triple sec, 2 oz. sour mix, splash of cola) - 380 calories

4) White Russian (1.5 oz. vodka, 1.5 oz. coffee liqueur, 1.5 oz. cream) - 320 calories

5) Piña Colada (1.5 oz. rum, 1.5 oz. coconut cream, 3 oz. pineapple juice) - 293 calories

Obviously the more alcohol, the more calories. Those creamy drinks will do you no favors either.

Plus if you keep your drinking to a minimum, you’ll feel better in the morning!

Oh, it is.  It really is.  And I can tell by looking at you that you need to drink more of it.  (You’re not alone.)

It’s the bottle I take issue with.  You know those handy plastic water bottles, sold for next to nothing by the case, stored atop refrigerators and in pantries and handed out like candy at every event (unless it’s the $4 airport version, but whatevs), meeting, and human get-together across the North America.?  Yes, those bottles.  Get rid of yours.  Now.  And this is why:

1.  Plastic is yucky.  It leaches.  Remember the furor over BPA baby bottles?  Drinking water is packed in so-called “safe” plastics, but bleh.  Why drink from plastic when you don’t have to?

2.  Plastic is made from petroleum. Anybody fill a tank with gas lately?  Think of all the wastage going into plastic production.  Boggles the mind.

3.  Waste, waste, waste.  Sure, many of us “recycle.”  (Where do they take all that stuff, anyway?  I’m convinced that where I used to live in PA they just buried recyclables with the other trash, but that’s my cynicism talking.)  I see empty plastic bottles everywhere. What a waste.

4.  Is it better? Long ago people unveiled the fact that many bottled waters are a.) produced by soft drink companies, and b.) nothing more than filtered tap water.  Which you could easily make yourself.

Not convinced yet?  Here are the ones that got me:

5.  The impact from transporting plastic water bottles is staggering. Think about it:  trucks carrying cases to the grocery store; trucks recycling (or whatever) empty bottles; trucks trucking in the petroleum to make new bottles; trucks, trucks, trucks.  All feeding the water bottle industry.  All pumping out masses of pollution while gobbling stupendous amounts of fuel.

6.  It’s the environment.  Bottled water has one hundred times the environmental impact of tap water. Ever stop to think where “spring water” comes from?  Those soft drink companies are diverting real spring water by the zillion-gallon in order to sell it to us in bottles.   And add to that the petroleum use, the transportation impact, plastics in the waste stream, the pollution from manufacturing…

What can you do? I like stainless steel bottles myself.  Kleen Kanteen makes them, as does Aquasmart (in Canada, yay!) and others.  (They come in kid sizes, too!  Banish those plastic sippy cups!) Some people swear by Sigg (and they look pretty, too!), others don’t mind the cleaner-plastic of reusable Nalgene, now with BPA-free choices.

Now that you have your container, what to put in it? Tap water isn’t actually that bad for you!  But if you object to the taste (chlorine, etc) and other nasties that might be in your water, get a filtered pitcher like this one, or put a filter cartridge on your tap.  There.  Don’t you feel better now?

Now drink up!  And please share your own water solutions in the comments!

(Want to read more about the horrors of plastic water bottles? Go here and here.)

We’ve sold our house, I have my grandparents here for my brother’s wife-to-be’s bridal shower, I have to secure a place to rent while our house gets built, notify all utility companies (etc) of our move, pack our current house, (splitting our stuff between what gets stored and what comes with us to the rental), have a wedding rehearsal, a separate rehearsal dinner, get our toddler fitted for his tuxedo, get fitted for my dress, fit into my dress (kind of key, yes?), do all of my bridesmaid duties, move, get the kids ready for school, and then plop into a heap of tired bones at the end of it all. In there? Work, freelance writing, taking care of kids while hubby is out of town all week, and managing to find time to work out. (Oh right, and make MANY decisions on the house that is being built.)

I keep wondering how I will manage to get all of this done. My stomach turns at the thought of the overwhelming number of “things to do” that lie ahead as my husband is on an untimely project out of town.

And because my bridesmaid dress just fits now, I still have to manage to lose a few more pounds by the wedding so it looks flattering!

The plan in my head has me walking every day with the kids and the dog, early mornings, before it gets hot. Two evenings a week I’ll hire a sitter to watch the boys while I go do strength training. I’m thinking I’ll need the help of a girlfriend or two - maybe host a packing party in the last week or so. Half the house has been packed for some time as our house was on the market for 8-9 months.

It seems that fitness and nutrition are the first things to go in my former ways of thinking. As busy moms, we tend to forgo the healthy food for faster meals, and skip the gym in favor of getting things done.

If we take the time to take care of ourselves, get enough sleep, eat healthy, and get our exercise, wouldn’t we accomplish more and handle the stress better?

As optimistic as I’ve been in past weeks, I honestly don’t know how I’m going to do it. Any suggestions?

Back when I worked in an actual office I used to have days like this about twice a year.  Days when I did Simply Nothing.  All day.  Staring out the window looking at the birds was a major event.  Napping was encouraged.  We all need days like this, days to just BE.  Days when we allow ourselves the luxury of letting go our attachment to daily routine, the need to keep the dishes from piling up in the sink, the need to manage/referee wayward small family members.

When was the last time you had a day like this?  An hour, even?  I know as the single mom of three it seemed nearly impossible for me, but only because I let it be so.  In retrospect I am pretty sure that for the most part they would have more or less taken care of themselves. And in doing so, my kids would have learned not only to fend for themselves a bit, never a bad thing in my opinion, but also that they have a mother who values herself enough to detach once in awhile from the mother-identity that can engulf us and to find joy and spiritual sustenance in the simplicity of just being in the moment, not finding it necessary to do anything.

So give yourself the gift of apathy once in awhile.  Do nothing more than be You for a day.  Breathe in the world and connect to that quiet space within you.  It’ll fuel you for a long time, giving you the strength and energy to keep on in your “regular” life, while at the same time teaching you new ways to connect to and honor the new self that is emerging in you.

What do your “apathy days” look like?  How do you honor that me-space within you?