There’s no shortage of articles, books, and blogs to tell you all about why freelancing is the very greatest thing ever. I like reading those sorts of pieces because it’s nice to hear someone excited about what they do, in any event, and even moreso when they’re doing what you do. (Or—for some of you—what you want to do.)

And then there are also folks who want to tell you the “cold hard facts” about choosing freelancing as your way of life. I like reading those sorts of pieces because I’m a realist, and I want to know what I’m really look at, here. I don’t want my truth sugar-coated; give it to me straight.

And then there are the people who want to tell you how much it all sucks.

Look, I know that this piece (”10 Reasons Freelancing is for Suckers”) was written with a tongue planted firmly in cheek, but I sort of feel like my honor has been called into question, or something. So I’m going to give you my rundown of these points, even though, yes, I understand that author John Hewitt was joking. At least, I hope he was.

1. Success as a freelancer requires constant attention to sales and marketing. Unless you love sales and marketing, you’re going to make yourself miserable. Marketing takes time away from what you want to do — write.

False. This depends on what sort of work you do, but if you market yourself properly, the day will come when the work mostly comes to you. Smart marketing ends up working for you in a way that requires less effort over time.

2. Freelancing is a feast or famine industry. One month you’ll feel like a millionaire, the next month you’ll be borrowing money from your parents to cover the bills. Freelancing requires excellent money management. Most people are terrible with money. If you’re having trouble figuring out if you’re good with money, try this simple test. Have you ever made the minimum monthly payment on a credit card? If so, you are not good with money.

False. True. Wait! Again, this depends on the kind of freelancing you do. For a freelancer, I make a pretty steady income. On the other hand, yes, a lot of people are rotten with money (wait, didn’t we talk about this?) and that sort of carelessness and freelancing really tend not to mix well. If, however, you are an incurable tightwad like me, the variations in your earnings aren’t a big deal. That’s why God invented savings accounts, after all.

3. The market is terrible. Thanks to the Internet, any jerk with a computer can be a freelance writer. These dreamers get on the Internet and bid next to nothing for jobs just because they want the experience. You’ll find yourself bidding $100 to write some college punk’s 20-page term paper complete with 25 citations. The worst part is, you’ll get underbid.

False. While it’s true that anyone can call themselves a freelance writer and there is always someone out there willing to do it for less, if you are good at what you do you will be worth the rate you ask, and clients will behave accordingly. I believe that the cream rises to the top. Some people think that belief is naive, but think about it—do you see those $5-an-article folks making a living? Exactly.

4. The clients never like what you wrote. Even sadder, the changes they want are always lousy. They have no taste, and it is your job to please them.

False. Geez, Eeyore, didja lose your tail again? There are always going to be difficult-to-please clients, and that, my friends, is called life. The nice thing about being a freelancer rather than an office drone is that when you do encounter one of those Goldilocks clients (I need it longer! shorter! more technical! easier to read! etc.), if they drive you insane, you can stop working with them.

5. Clients will do anything they can to avoid paying you. They’ll tell you they’re broke. They’ll write bad checks. They’ll even change their phone number, just to avoid paying you for the hard work you did. Did you want a career as a collections agent? If so, freelancing is the next best thing.

False. Yes, everyone has at least one payment horror story. It happens. Rarely. If you’re managing your accounts properly—and that includes incremental payments on large jobs—you should almost never find yourself in such a situation.

6. Your friends and family will call you all day long wanting you to run errands for them. They won’t consider you to be really working. They’ll think you’re just wasting time and screwing around.

Well…. This one, unfortunately, may be true for a lot of people. I can suggest new friends, but family is trickier to replace…. Still, as you establish yourself, it should become clear that you do actually have a job.

7. You’ll just waste time and screw around. Freelancing requires a solid work ethic and excellent time management skills. Most people who want to freelance have neither of these qualities, that’s why they think freelancing would be better than a real job.

False. Most freelancers I know work much harder than salaried employees. That’s because when we don’t work, we don’t get paid. If you’re too undisciplined to manage yourself, then yeah, don’t go into freelancing. Obviously. But this is the exception rather than the rule.

8. People make more money telling you how to freelance than they actually do freelancing. Did you ever wonder how much of Bob Bly’s freelancing income comes from selling books about freelancing?

Only if they’re lucky. Again, this is the exception rather than the rule. But for those who do? I say good on ‘em.

9. Which do you prefer, paying through the nose for health insurance or not having any health insurance? If you are a freelancer in America, those are your choices. The best case scenario is to marry someone with a real job.

True. Sorry, I can’t argue with this one. A spouse who has health insurance is a beautiful thing. I love my husband dearly, but I’d be lying if I said his health benefits weren’t part of the allure.

10. Freelancing can never beat blogging. Now there’s a legitimate profession with no real downside!

Hi, John… I’m Mir. I’m a professional blogger. Hey, I guess it’s official. Even when freelancing is getting dissed, my job is still totally cool.