Do you feel overwhelmed by your life? Do you feel as if it is swallowing you up or crushing the “you” out of you? My Internet friend, “C” does. C is probably much like a lot of the women you know. She currently finds herself feeling like a stranger to herself and to her life. She plays the roles of a mom, a wife, a daughter, an employee, a concerned citizen…but when does she get to be C, the woman who loves to write and knit, read and play games on her iPhone?

Her obligations attached to her many roles pull her this way and that. Her life, she says, is running her. Obviously it should be the other way around but how do we take the wheel and steer our own life when factors all around us seem to conspire to run us aground?

C wants to take control but she doesn’t want to be rigid about it. She simply wants to feel like she has some choices and some “say” about how she spends the precious hours of her precious days.

How did C get in this situation in the first place? No one dragged her, kicking and screaming, to this bustling existence in which she finds herself. She made choices and with them came responsibilities, right?

Sometimes, however, we believe we’ve made choices when we really haven’t.

Ian Coburn, author of the upcoming book, “Choice - The Meaning of Life: How to Have More and Better Choices in Business, Relationships, Government and Life” says that we often do things because we believe them to be the “appropriate” thing - not because we’ve freely chosen to do them. He proposes that as humans we tend to unthinkingly fall into the belief that there is a “proper” cycle to life, especially as an adult: job/college - career - marriage - children/family - divorce. We often unthinkingly follow that course for our life, believing we are making choices when, in reality we are following a pre-ordained cycle of behavior that few question.

Ian challenges us to seriously consider each step of our life, realizing that each is not a given. We can have love without marriage; marriage without children; children without marriage. We can go to college later in life and change careers ad infinitum. Ian maintains that by realizing that we have more options available than those that are ingrained in us as “proper,” we can make choices that are more personally suitable. That, Ian says, is the first step to feeling in control because true choice comes from a place of strength.

When we make choices that are personally relevant, we will automatically feel more in control.

You’ll want to bolster that sense of control by being aware of some basic truths. Take care to safeguard your psyche, Ian reminds us, by realizing the following:

• You are the only person responsible for your happiness. Only you know what you want and what will make you happy; hence, only you can guarantee action to pursue what you want and happiness.
• The only person you have to live with is you. If your mom annoys you, you don’t have to talk to her. You can divorce your spouse if your marriage falls apart. You can change your friends. You can quit your job or transfer. The only person you can’t get away from is yourself. You damn well better make sure you make yourself a top priority, then.
• People only have the power over you that you give them. People can’t control you unless you let them.
• You will die. The clock is ticking. Your happiness and what you want are regulated by an expiration date; hence, tomorrow is not another day—tomorrow is today’s backup plan.

So my friend C can rest assured that there are things she can do to regain her sense self. Take charge of your decisions and take care of yourself. That’s the prescription for taking and maintaining control of your life. When you are living your authentic life, you are best suited to take on the responsibilities that are part and parcel of the choices you make.

What factors govern the choices you make in your life?

Remember the Milk - I have recently started using RTM for my moment by moment tasks. As long as I remember to enter the tasks into the application, I have a nice reminder list with deadlines, priorities and several ways to access it. I can go straight to their web site (rare). I’ve also integrated RTM into my Gmail accounts so my task lists show up on the right hand margin of my Web browser when I’m checking emails. I also have the iPhone app and can reach for my iPhone in the middle of the night and enter To Do’s easily. Yes, I actually do that and find it better than the old paper/pen on the nightstand method. I can also share specific To Do lists with my team using the premium level of RTM.

Google Calendar - I love my Google Apps and my calendar is shared with everyone who needs to get on my schedule. Then I’ve set it up so every calendar entry is emailed to me, sent to me via text and also shows up as a popup on my Web browser 10 minutes before I’m supposed to do something like get on a call. I have also learned to block off travel time on either end of a meeting instead of blocking off only the meeting time so that 10 minute warning is still padded if I have to get in my car to travel someplace.

iCal - I have iCal on my Mac and on my iPhone and for backup reminders when I really, truly cannot forget something, I add one more reminder in my iCal. A little popup comes onto my computer screen and an SMS pings me in addition to the Google Cal ticklers. Extra reenforcements are sometimes warranted, especially when you combine mommybrain with overloaded brain.

Humans - I know I said this was about technology, however, one of the best things I’ve done to help me remember things is to first confess to all my team members that remembering things is not my strong front. I’ve given them permission to nudge me, bug me, pester me and wave shiny objects in front of me in order to get me to do things and remember what I should be doing in the first place. I figured it was better to be honest and to enlist their help in sending me brain ticklers than to frustrate everyone around me because I forgot to do something. When you are mommybrained, you need all the help you can get including a human support network.

These methods may sound extreme, however, they are a reflection of how truly lacking my memory has become so rather than fight it, I have to acknowledge it and put solutions in place. The only thing I need now are reminders to remind me to enter my reminders!

What is your method for reminding yourself of important things? What technologies do you use?

Author Christine Holbaum says, “Science has long since proven that multitasking is a myth. According to neuroscientific research headed by David Meyer at the University of Michigan, the brain cannot concentrate on two comparably difficult tasks at one time. What actually happens in the executive lobe of our brains is task switching. It takes a great deal of energy and focus for your brain to switch back and forth, yet so many of us attempt to multitask every day.” When our thoughts and emotions are divided between several things, no one of them is getting the attention it deserves. Not to mention that multitasking is physically and emotionally draining! We all know that when we feel drained, we have a diminished capacity to make our sharpest decisions.

In short, declares Christine, “Multitasking does not make you more efficient. It simply makes you more exhausted.” She suggests the following tips for stopping the multitasking madness:

• Eliminate distractions. At the workplace in particular, we are often distracted by externalities such as the radio playing, someone else talking loudly on the phone, unsolicited instant messages from people or simply the Internet itself. Close all the applications you don’t need to work on the task at hand. You’d be surprised how quickly you can finish that report when you’ve not intermittently updated your social media pages in the process!

• Prioritize. It sounds simple, yet it is challenging for many to stick to their plan. Once you’ve eliminated some of the common distractions in your workspace, set priorities. If you dread finishing that assignment, but know it is due first, break it down into bite-sized chunks. Tell yourself you will work on it for five minutes and allow yourself a break if you need it. Pretty soon you’ll be in the flow of things and forget how much time has gone by. It is a great way to offset procrastination. Reward yourself for the good job done such as having your favorite hot beverage or a visit to your favorite card shop in between. It will help you stay motivated and focused.

• Take time-outs. Everyone’s focus wanes at some point in the day. Remember to take mini-breaks every now and then.

It seems the key to true productivity lies in your focus. Juggling seems to be an apropos way to illustrate the ineffectiveness of multitasking. The goal of juggling is to narrow your focus. Even though there’s seemingly a lot going on, the juggler’s steely focus is on catching just one item at a time, albeit quickly. If the juggler had to catch all the items at once, he would drop them all! Clearly then, the answer to accomplishing more is to focus on one thing at a time.

Multitasking is madness! When it leaves us overwhelmed, exhausted and still overworked, multitasking is sabotaging rather than reinforcing our best efforts at productivity. Let’s try a fresher, kinder, more focused approach to tasks and see if we can tackle our to-dos without becoming a slave to the multitasking myth.

Are you ready to dispel the myth of multitasking by taking on your tasks one-on-one?

Much to my surprise, my husband asked about taking my last name along with his.

“I never liked my middle name much,” he said then after I said what a great idea I thought it was, he called my dad to ask his permission to carry on the Sherman name. My dad - who only has two daughters - cried because he was so touched.

So my husband went through all the legal rigamarole to add my last name to his including putting an ad in a newspaper and going before a judge. By 2005, both of us had the legal last name of Sherman Risdahl.

Then my next book came out. I decided to use Aliza Risdahl for short.

And suddenly, my new book could not be found under a search for Aliza Sherman. Of course it couldn’t. What was I thinking? At the time, you couldn’t even find it on Amazon.com although since then I was able to get all of my books to be connected to any combination of my names.

Then there was email. People I had been doing business with over the years no longer were getting my emails because either their spam blocker grabbed them or they didn’t recognize Risdahl and trashed them without opening them.

Google wasn’t happy about my name change either. if you put in my new full name, all of the decades-worth of search results suddenly disappeared from view. It was as if taking my husband’s last name instantly wiped out 10 years of hard work to establish my name in my industry and to make my name easily findable online.

What do you do when you spend a decade building your brand and suddenly you change your brand name?

Even though fundamentally nothing else has changed in business, you are suddenly an unknown or at least an unfamiliar entity.

I was pretty upset by this situation, to say the least. While I love my husband and love being his wife and connected with him, he knew I was hard pressed to give up my career. Then again, he may have known it in theory, but in practice he didn’t really want to accept it. He acted disappointed each time he saw my maiden name in any business context, and I’d have to remind him why I was using it.

Of course, I wanted to please him, but I had also learned some hard lessons about always trying to please someone else and ignoring your own needs. That doesn’t work for anybody involved.

Over time, he mentioned my maiden name showing up in places less and less. I’m not sure if he has gotten used to it or simply gave up on the issue. He knows I love him, and I make a point to use his name or our double last name everywhere else and our daughter uses his name or our double last name as well.

Did you take your husband’s last name, add it to yours, hyphenate or keep your own? Why did you choose to do what you did?

Stress is a fact of life, whether you’re a CEO, parent, student or all of the above. Stress can be felt in your mind and in your body too. Ideally, your mind and body are in sync, helping each other get through the challenges of the day. When the body and mind are not working in harmony, both suffer.

"Finding ways to keep your sanity and balance in life is necessary for a happy mind and healthy body." says Renee Rayles, author of The Super, Sexy, Single Mom on a Budget . Renee practices "Me Time" every day in order to stay balanced in her busy life. She suggests the following practices:

• Journaling , writing a gratitude journal that will help you focus on the positive aspects of your life.
• Yoga.
• Take a long, hot bath with candles and wine.
• A girls’ night out if not every weekend then every other weekend to let loose and catch up with your girls!

Renee’s philosophy inspired me to think about how I deal with stress. When I imagine feeling my best, I immediately think of the importance of strength and vitality. Maintaining the feeling that I am able to take on the challenges of my life requires a daily commitment. I try to take care of myself physically through living a healthy lifestyle which includes eating well and getting enough exercise. I’m no fanatic about it by any stretch of the imagination but the fact remains that the more diligent I am at caring for my health, the better I feel.

The second – and equally vital - component of feeling my best is keeping my mind in good shape. Since I tend to live in my head, I find my thoughts are commonly a barrier to accomplishing what I want to do. Sometimes my body seems to go one way and my mind another! Fortunately, I have discovered something that helps me keep both body and mind in more harmonious coexistence: The practice of yoga.

Simply defined, yoga is a collection of movements which stretch the entire body, leading to increased flexibility and strength. Through practice of the poses, the mind is released from outward distraction as concentration is focused inward on the physical effort required of the poses. Thus yoga forges a connection between the body and the mind. Repeating the poses reinforces this mind-body connection, so that over time the two communicate with increasing ease.

It is an absolutely liberating experience to become so engrossed in a pose that you forget to worry or ruminate or plan! Yoga teaches the skill of living in the moment, which is a healthy thing for someone who prides herself on being the ‘Planner Extraordinaire!’ It’s a great way to find balance in my life between the me who “does” and the me who “is.”

The most valuable aspect of yoga for me is that it is a process – or journey. There is no competition; no winning or losing. It is strictly between me and my body. The point is that you practice the pose not that you achieve the pose. The point is the striving toward and releasing yourself – body and mind – into the pose. With each attempt, your body gives in more freely and with increased confidence. The only things to master are the physical and mental connections within yourself.

Many people consider that connection of the physical and mental a spiritual experience. For me there’s no better way of creating, celebrating and nurturing my inner and outer strength and vitality. Neither my body or mind can be strong if they aren’t working in unison.

Yoga teacher and founder of Iyengar Yoga, B.K.S. Iyengar, had this to say about the benefits of yoga, “Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured.”

Could yoga be a way for you to conquer stress in your mind and body?

One thing I know is that I’m a kind and fair boss. Which is saying a lot given that 10 years ago, I was the Boss From Hell.

Ten years ago, I was running my first company, and I was in a bad place in my life despite being in an excellent place with my company, at least on the surface. Although I still don’t have a full picture of how my employees at the time saw me, I get bits and pieces as I reconnect with some of them over time, and the picture is not pretty.

Some suitable words to describe me as a boss at that time would be:

• impatient
• paranoid
• angry
• frustrated
• bitchy
• demanding
• irrational
• emotional
• disempowering
• unpredictable
• insensitive

All of these qualities were probably how I came across to the 20 plus women and men in my employ, however, the truth was far more complicated. I share this now not just for my own catharsis and to apologize yet again to my former staff: I am truly sorry for the way I behaved. But I also reveal the following to let anyone know - boss, future boss, or someone with a boss - that the reason bosses can seem like they are from hell could be because they are going through their own hell themselves.

Behind the Scenes of Being the Boss

Here’s what was actually going on with me a decade ago while I struggled to be boss.

1. Fearful. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had never run a business before. I would have been better suited as the Director of Communications or Marketing Director than be expected to run a fast-growing company with no experience at all. I know other people do it all the time and succeed at it. But I didn’t WANT to do it. I was so afraid of failure that I tried to control everything and couldn’t delegate without feeling terrified.

2. Lacking in Self Esteem. Despite all of the successes I was experiencing, especially “on paper” in the press, I was certain I was a loser, a farce, a failure. The only thing that made me feel good about myself was when I truly influenced other women and girls to use technology, and I cherished every one of thousands of emails I received from people around the world saying how much I’d encouraged them, inspired them. Those missives helped me believe for a moment that I could do something good in the world.

3. Disempowered. I was in a very weak place when I owned my first company. I had a boyfriend who controlled my every move including what I wore, what I could and couldn’t say to others, who I could associate with, everything. He also controlled my business. On many occasions, major companies expressed interest in partnering with my company or buying it outright, however, they would take me aside every time and say “but only if you get rid of your business partner.” I couldn’t do it. I never did.

4. Embarrassed. Knowing that I stood on podiums around the world talking about women’s empowerment and women on the Internet was embarrassing knowing how I didn’t have control over my own life or company. On the rare moments that I reached out for help - and in some cases had people rally around me to kick my business partner out of my company - I couldn’t go through with it and shrunk back into myself, mortified that I couldn’t be stronger.

Those are just a few of the dynamics of my tenure as boss of my first company. I am not trying to make any excuses for my behavior. We all have to take responsibility for our choices and our actions.

But I just think it is important for anyone struggling with things that have a negative affect on their ability to be a good, fair and kind boss to rethink being in a position where they are the boss of others. Being a boss, like it or not, is kind of like being a parent. If you can’t do your absolute best when managing other people, just don’t do it. Find another job. Put someone else in charge. Because bosses can have such deep impacts on the people in their employ, and no one should take that responsibility lightly.

These days, I’m in a good relationship with a loving husband. I have an excellent business partner who is the perfect complement to me and also a long-term, trusted friend. We have several people we are working with who we want to hire as our core team and they are amazing and talented individuals. I work hard to listen to them, to be fair with them, and to empower them.

I want to be the kind of boss that I would want to have if I ever took a regular job again. And I swear I’ll never be the Boss from Hell again. If so, please call me on it.

Have you ever had or have you ever been The Boss From Hell? How did you handle the situation?

Amy left a high-power corporate career to follow her heart and make her life the life she wanted. Here’s are some of her insights as an entrepreneur and mom as she turned her vision into her reality.

WIM: What factors made you first consider going into business for yourself?

Amy: I wanted to fulfill a dream of having a business and working every day with something I love. I also knew that I wanted to have a family when I started Dogtopia so having that flexibility would prove to be a big factor. In fact, both of my sons ended up coming to work with me for the first six months or so, which was great. I literally had a pack-and-play and swing in my office. I would turn on classical music in my office for them to sleep. At one of my locations, I had a baby monitor in the front of the building for when I was working with staff. If you truly want to be flexible, start your own business.

WIM: Were you a mom then?

Amy: I found out I was pregnant with my first son on the one-year anniversary of me starting Dogtopia.

WIM: What were the 3 biggest positive changes in your life once you left the corporate world behind?

Amy:

1. Ability to Solve Problems: When I recognize a problem or challenge, I need to fix it. In the corporate world, I would recognize challenges all the time. You could talk with someone about it, but you couldn’t change it, which was always very frustrating to me. I made a commitment to myself that when I had my own business, I’d never have that attitude. I don’t get stressed by the problem or challenge; I get stressed at the inability to fix it.
2. Passion for My Job: Being at Dogtopia, I get to work with people who are here because they love their job, People don’t work here unless they really love dogs, which is more fulfilling to me and a way I connect with everyone here. We love dogs and we all want them to have a high quality of life. People who are working at telecom company, for example, aren’t there for their love of telecommunications. Having a common passion with co-workers is very fulfilling.
3. Setting Goals: I love that I’m now able to me more achievement-oriented and set my own goals. With sales, there is a quota for the goals. I can set expectations where I want them to be with Dogtopia.

WIM: What were the three biggest challenges in your life as you struck out on your own?

Amy:

1. Financial Adjustment: Financially, you have to make sacrifices when you’re starting your own business. For me, I had to give up driving a nice car and buying fancy clothes without thinking twice.
2. Time with Family/Friends: Spending quality time with family and friends was hard for me at the beginning. Before starting Dogtopia, I had a fairly busy social life. My “going out” was cut down about 90 percent. Happy Hour was a thing of the past – I was now taking care of people’s dogs during their happy hour. I didn’t feel like I was missing out, but it was a huge adjustment. For Thanksgiving in 2002, we were five months in to the business. My entire family came to Dogtopia and we had Thanksgiving Dinner at the store – along with 30 dogs.
3. Securing a Loan: In 2001 it was very difficult to get a loan. Being a first-time business owner, banks were unsure of me and unsure of a business that took care of people’s dogs. Dogtopia was a new kind of business. It was the seventh bank that finally gave me a loan. I didn’t give up until someone said “yes.”

WIM: How does being an entrepreneur mom affect your family’s schedule and priorities? Tell me your thoughts about balancing life/family/work.

Amy: The only negative thing is that I often feel like I don’t have enough time to be involved with school as I’d like. I can’t just take a day off out of the blue – I have to plan around it in advance. The good thing is that my husband is able to pick up where I can’t. He also works for Dogtopia as the vice president of franchise development and his role is more flexible to work from home.

Something that’s really fun for our family is all the travel because of Dogtopia. My 5 ½ year-old son Aidan has been to 8 Dogtopia grand openings throughout the U.S. in places such as California and North Carolina. We wouldn’t travel as much if it wasn’t for Dogtopia.

WIM: What do your children learn from having a mom who is an entrepreneur?

Amy: From what I can tell, I think they see that men and women can both equally do whatever they want to do. My son doesn’t know the difference between what my husband and I do. He doesn’t separate that. I think it sets a great example of showing equality. If you try and work hard can do or accomplish anything you’d like.

WIM: You care for dogs whose families are busy during the day. Are your children in day care while you work? If so, what were your requirements in choosing the right care for your children. How were they the same/different than the care you provide for your client’s dogs?

Amy: My standards are pretty high. My son Aidan is in Kindergarten now and we went to a private school so that he could stay later in the day. We went with a private school so that he could stay late in the day. Both of my sons also attended a private pre-school and what I really related to was that the principal is truly the “face” of the business, just like Dogtopia franchises. It was important to me that she knew me and my children and had their best interests in mind. It was clear to me that the staff at this school loved children. It’s the same thing at Dogtopia – we all work here because we love dogs and we try to make them happy during the day.

WIM: How do you take care of yourself without losing your identity into your professional persona?

One of the things I’ve learned from husband is separating work and family time. With my enthusiasm for Dogtopia, I want to talk about it all the time – even at home or family events. My husband likes to minimize it and would rather talk about the kids or our family when we’re at home or spending time with other family members. When we get home until the kids go to bed, it’s all about family. We also don’t work on the weekends unless we have to.

Amy: When you can’t do it all, is it easy or difficult for you to delegate?

In the beginning it was really hard, since I hadn’t had a lot of experience managing people in a retail environment. I used to be the one cleaning the bathrooms because it was hard to delegate and I felt guilty asking someone else to do that job. I’ve finally learned that if I am cleaning the bathroom now, I am not paying the bills or working to market Dogtopia. I’ve come a long way! Now I realize that I need to work on what I am good at.

WIM: What do you know about yourself now that you didn’t know before you became an entrepreneur?

Amy: I’m truly amazed it’s been eight years and I am still as enthusiastic as Day One. I often wonder if I was always this way. When I was in high school, I always had to do better than everyone else, which is kind of how I approached this business. I am continually looking for ways to improve. Along the way, I have also learned a lot about finance and legal issues as well. My capacity to learn was more than I thought. I took accounting in college and dropped the class. Now – I love looking at financial statements because it applies to my business. The better I understand the better I can run the business.

WIM: In your opinion, is everyone cut out to be an entrepreneur? What qualities are most beneficial to an entrepreneur?

Amy: No, everyone is not cut out to be one. You don’t have to be “born” an entrepreneur, but there are certain qualities you have to possess. You must be intrinsically motivated. You must have an internal drive to do better. You’re either born that way or you’re not. You have to be your own cheerleader.

WIM: If for some reason your business hadn’t succeeded, what would you be doing for a living today?

Amy: This is a funny question because for a long time I had a saying hanging in my office that read, “Failure is Not an Option.” The first six months of this business were really hard. Since it was quick, it was just more about pushing forward. If I weren’t running Dogtopia, I would be running something else, which is almost impossible to imagine.

WIM: As a successful businessperson, why is it important for you to give to charities such as the K-9 Support?

Amy: I grew up doing charitable work with my family, so working with a non-profit was such an easy choice. K-9 Support helped us take it to the next level. We didn’t want the money to go somewhere that wasn’t “relatable” to our cause. Washington DC also has a huge military presence so the military is always on our minds. *Editorial Note: K-9 Support is a charity that supports working dogs who assist the military, the hearing and sight impaired, the police, explorers and search and rescue efforts.

WIM: What will be your legacy - as a mom, as a business person, as a human being? Has being an entrepreneur shaped your vision of that?

Amy: I hope it will be that I grew something that benefitted other people. Franchising Dogtopia makes sense for my business – but the bigger picture is that I have helped other people get a business open that they really cared about. I constantly get e-mail from franchisees who thank me for setting them up with this opportunity.

Amy has made a huge success of her big idea. Hers is the story of a visionary who saw what she wanted and went for it, regardless of the sacrifices, changes and substantial risks involved. She’s a successful entrepreneur, woman, wife and mother. It can be done: Amy is proof of that.

What risks and challenges are you willing to undergo to create the life you want for yourself?

Here are some of the things you may be encountering with some tips and suggestions on what type of “ghostbuster” to get.

1. Cash Flow Crunch

Finding that there isn’t always enough cash before the next bit of money comes in? That’s a very common issue for any startup business, but if you aren’t a startup, you may not have someone properly watching the influx of cash or managing the outflow.

Who you gonna call? A strategic CPA can take a look at your numbers, identify patterns - both good and bad - and make recommendations that could help unstick the stuck parts of your cash that isn’t flowing properly.

2. Personnel Issue

“Lots of entrepreneurs are hesitant to add employees to the payroll,” says Adelaide Lancaster, co-founder, in good company workplaces. “Often employees seem to cost more time and money than they are worth.”

However since your company’s success is dependent on you focusing on what you do best and finding other people to fill in the gaps, says Lancaster, it may be in your best interest to bite the bullet and bring on some help.

“The right resources can make all the difference for you as boss, so make sure you do it right!”

Who you gonna call?

According to Lancaster, a reputable and reliable Payroll Company can make sure everyone gets paid – including the government plus an HR consultant or outsourced HR company who will make sure you are in compliance with the most recent laws and regulations and who can help you provide better health care coverage by pooling your firm with their other clients. If you are dealing with a personnel issue specifically, contact a Leadership and Management Coach - especially if managing people is something that you haven’t enjoyed in the past - to help manage a situation and hone you leadership style, a crucial part of any company culture.

3. Growing Pains

“Growing is important and necessary for any business, (but) if you’re growing too fast or too slowly, your business needs a strategy,” says Tery Spataro, veteran Digital Strategist.

Who you gonna call?

A Business Consultant can help you evaluate your overall business strategy and help you determine your company’s direction, says Spataro.

4. Legal Dispute

Someone else is infringing on your trademark. Or somebody has breached a contract with you, but you’re not sure what to do next. Whatever the legal issues, remember that there are legal ramifications that you as a business owner might not be able to anticipate.

Who you gonna call?

You need a good lawyer, particularly one who knows your industry well so they can help you anticipate potential pitfalls and set up your legal paperwork in a way to nip legal problems in the bud. They can also be there for you when you’re faced with a legal snafu that is over your head. Choose a legal advisor you can genuinely trust.

5. Work Burnout

Work burnout is prevalent especially when economy is bad, says Spataro. “Longer hours means less enthusiasm and motivation for what was once loved.”

Lancaster attributes some burnout to not being sure what road to take in your business (and life).

Says Lancaster, “Every business has multiple possible outcomes; the difficult part is knowing which option is right for you, based on your goals and motivations. Once you are clear which option best meets your needs you need to find the most financial strategic way to achieve that plan.”

Who you gonna call?

Both Lancaster and Spataro suggest calling a Business or Career Coach who will help retool and inspire you to a new direction in your life and career. She also adds a Yoga Master to help you work out the kinks and get you moving around and breathing. Oxygen is key when your brain is losing focus!

No matter what you are experiencing in business today, there is someone out there who can be YOUR ghostbuster.

Who is one of your top ghostbusters who has helped your company at a critical time? Share your stories here!

Recently an Internet friend of mine, “C” bemoaned the loss of her personal identity. She admitted she’d been feeling overwhelmed and as though her life was not her own. I, being the helpful sort, concluded that C must not be the only person feeling like she is a stranger to herself. So I decided to put my research skills to task on the problem and see what advice exists to help C and others in the same boat regain their sense of self.

C is a forty-something married lady with children and a job. She is my Internet friend, so other than those superficial things, I don’t know a lot about her. As far as I can tell from Twitter, she has a snappy sense of humor, a great attitude about her family and an affinity for chocolate-covered cherries. Her appreciation of her husband and soft spot for puppies is charming. In other words, she is a woman who could be our neighbor, best friend, sister or ourselves. Let’s help C find herself.

We tend to lose ourselves as we become swallowed up by life’s responsibilities. Some we have no control over and some are self-imposed. Often it seems easier to give of ourselves - even to the point of giving ourselves away - than to make the hard choices that could leave us with our identity intact.

Dena Marie Patton, Speaker, Author, Life Coach and CEO, offers these ten tips on how to create empowering boundaries that will allow more of “you” to shine through:

1. Honor yourself by setting realistic limits for yourself.
2. Practice saying no (gracefully).
3. Practice checking ‘in’ with your boundaries before you say yes to anything.
4. Protect your most important areas of your life by setting boundaries around them (like a fence around a garden).
5. Try not to get consumed in 1 or 2 roles (i.e. business owner, wife, mother) step out of that role daily even just for a few minutes.
6. Invest in your future by keeping yourself balanced, healthy and focused on what is important.
7. Practice coming from your center. Your center is the most powerful place and when you get pulled in a million different directions you end up far from your center and ‘winging’ it, which is exhausting.
8. Promise not to ’should’ on yourself. Eliminate the word should from your vocabulary.
9. Train people to honor your boundaries by honoring them yourself, first.
10. Surround yourself with people who empower and honor you and your goals.

The real challenge is to admit that we may have allowed our identities to slip away. Of course we never meant for it to happen but one day we wake up and wonder where we are beneath all the hats and masks we wear.

So, how do we find ourselves when we are feeling lost - adrift at sea, miles from the self we used to know?

Ian Coburn, author of the upcoming book, “Choice - The Meaning of Life: How to Have More and Better Choices in Business, Relationships, Government and Life,” suggests we reflect on these key questions to reconnect with our inner self:

* What do you need?
* What’s important to you?
* What are your responsibilities?
* What are your limitations?

Ian believes that it is when you feel out of touch with your self and your needs, that you are most susceptible to feeling that you are not in control of your own life. You’ve “weakened your immunity” so to speak, and allowed other things to overshadow your sense of self.

The core of ourselves - the “I” has simply got to remain the focus of our life. It is not selfish to take care of ourselves. When we do, we have the energy and the self-confidence to be our most effective. The most important role to play is that of ourselves.

Have you lost the “I” in your life?

Think of Springpad as a set of modules - or apps - that you can add and use to your liking to handle all sorts of tasks and the management of those tasks.

Here are just a few ideas how you could use Springpad for your work/life management system.

- Household Budget Plan - I admit freely that after five years of marriage, I’m still struggling with understanding how to jointly manage household expenditures. While my husband takes care of the bill paying, we both contribute income to our joint account. And I’m oblivious to the comings and goings of money. Therefore, is app will really come in handy so I have a nice visual of how we are spending our money on everyday things to keep our household running smoothly.

- Reusable Packing List - I’m doing more and more business travel but sometimes with my 3 year old daughter, sometimes with the whole family, and sometimes solo. Each type of travel requires entirely different items in tow. We also spend our summer months camping in the RV so that’s a fourth packing list we need at our fingertips. Definitely a handy app for road warriors and light travelers alike.

- Workout Tracker - I hate counting calories but my girlfriends and I are planning a springtime trip to someplace warm so are trying to reach our fitness goals by April. I’d rather track my exercise so am firing up this app to see how active I am getting in these cold, dark Alaska winters. Thank goodness for my new Wii!

- Daily Health Reminders - I forget everything, including taking vitamins, medicines, etc. - and when my daughter needs to take medicines, and I’m supposed to remember that, forget about it. I’m plugging in this app today to keep us all on track.

Other apps you might find handy as you manage the household and the work load include the Babysitter Handbook to keep your babysitter informed of all relevant family and contact information, and the Date Night Planner which I would use if I lived in a city where there were a variety of things to plan.

Apps categories include: