The newly released results of the Working America 2008 Ask a Working Woman survey revealed that working women are badly in need of both a raise and a break.  Of the over 12,000 online respondents, half said that if they had more time they would work a second job.  Furthermore, nearly half stated that they have either no time or less than hour day for themselves.

When asked what would make their life as a working mother substantially easier, over half responded that a 10% raise in their paycheck is just what they need – more than better healthcare, childcare, or pension contributions.  Above all, women want a raise.  I don’t know about you, but I won’t be holding my breath for a double-digit raise this year.  With lay-offs looming in every industry, sometimes it feels that to be working at all is a blessing.

With our nation’s economy spinning out of control, gas prices nearing $5.00 a gallon, the cost of groceries increasing in double-digit percentages, I can totally relate to the respondents.  Take into consideration that more women are becoming the bread-winners in their household and the whole thing adds up to an incredibly stressful time for working mothers. 

Personally, I would have chosen more time to exercise or sleep.  Both seem to be lacking in my daily schedule.  I couldn’t imagine working another job in my free-time.  But when I think about it, freelance writing has become my second job.  While I don’t make enough money in freelance to support my family, the extra income has come in handy to help pay for the basics – like milk, bread and rice.   While the economy continues to go down the crapper, I’ll continue to save as much as possible, charge as little as possible, and take my paycheck straight to the bank.

What about you?  If you had more free time, would you be working another job?  Do you too need more money AND more time for yourself?

Several years ago, I was the general counsel of the Software Subsidiary of a Very Large Corporation. Most people at Software Subsidiary knew who I was, and were aware of my job title; conversely, at the time most at Very Large Corporation had no clue who I was.

One day, I was asked to participate as legal counsel for a project at Very Large Corporation. The project involved software and other technology, and since that was my forte, one of my colleagues at Very Large Corporation invited me to be a part of the team, having worked with me once before.

I arrived at the project kick-off meeting, and my colleague wasn’t there; however, 2 men who were engrossed in a private conversation were. One of them saw me enter:

"Hey, honey, could you get us some coffee? Thanks."

My first inclination was to strongly and vociferously express my intense indignation; my second was to explain (with obvious mock patience) who I was. But then, thank goodness, I decided to go with my third instinct:

"Sure," I said. "How would you like it?"

And off I went to get the coffee.

When I returned, I placed the coffee in front of the two men, and I sat down at the conference table with my own cup. Honey-Get-The-Coffee-Boy glanced at me, clearly bewildered at my presence. By then, however, my colleague had arrived, and begun the meeting.

"Thanks, everyone, for coming," began my coworker. "Before we get started, however, I think it might be a good idea for us to go around the table and introduce ourselves, give everyone your title, and what your role will be for the team."

Everyone took turns, detailing his or her name, rank and serial number. When it was time for me, I turned and fixed my gaze on Coffee Boy, and said:

"Hi. I’m Karen. I’m General Counsel for Software Subsidiary, and I’ll be providing legal guidance to this team."

The look on Coffee Boy’s face was priceless — I think he turned at least 3 shades of red. I smiled warmly at him and winked, which I think only increased his embarrassment. While he never apologized, for the rest of my career at Software Subsidiary (and later, at Very Large Corporation) he went out of his way to be helpful, and was always supportive of my ideas and opinions.

I tell you this story because as the mother of a little girl, I feel (rightly or wrongly) a certain duty to represent the best of what I believe it means to be a strong woman to my daughter as she grows up. And while some of you might disagree with how I handled Coffee Boy, to me, being a strong woman means sometimes knowing when to get up in someone’s face about something, and when a quieter approach will work. But it also means having a certain healthy sense of entitlement: it means being confident enough in yourself to know that you have every right to be where you are at that very moment. As women, sometimes we find ourselves believing the hype: buying into the opinion that maybe we don’t belong, or aren’t as good as the men, or aren’t talented enough to be invited to sit at the table. My goal is to make sure my daughter Alex never feels this way. And, as far as I’m concerned, she’s never too young to learn this lesson.

I’d love to hear what the working world has inspired you to teach your kids — please share in the comments!

School is officially out this week.  Since I am a working mom to a preschooler, I don’t feel the stress of working through summer vacation.  I don’t have school age kids who I need to find day camps or day care for the 10 weeks of summer so that I can continue to work.   

Yet I still get mighty jealous of the SAHMs in my neighborhood who are spending these hot summer days at our local cabana club.  It’s the only time of year that I feel any animosity towards the moms on the other side of the fence.  Sure the grass always looks greener on the other side.  But in the summer, there is also a pool over there and some freshly squeezed lemonade.

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I’ve been a working mom for a mere four years; however, I think I’ve been doing this long enough to look around and see that … well … some large corporations could do a thing or two to ensure the undying love and loyalty of their working mom employees. Besides, I’m a firm believer that an happy and loyal employee is a productive employee. So, in an attempt to "help a corporation out" (and with apologies to David Letterman), I thought I’d list, in my opinion, the Top Five Things Companies Can Do to Make Their Employee-Moms* Love Them:

Number 5: No Time Clocks
I think there’s an argument which states that, in most instances, as long as the work gets completed on time, why should it matter what hours an employee performs her job? Often, being a stickler in requiring employees to punch a time clock is a classic example of form-over-substance: there is the implication that a company values full desks between the hours of eight and five more than it does maximizing the productivity of its employees. I guarantee that if a conscientious employee feels like her employer will be flexible with her working hours, she’ll likewise bend over backwards to ensure that her work is of the highest quality.

Number 4: Provide the tools to work away from home
Related to Number 5, a corporation that provides its employees with the tools to work remotely will — surprise! — end up with employees willing to work remotely. This means that instead of desktops, the company provides laptops. Mobile phones. BlackBerrys (or as I like to call them Crackberrys, because seriously, checking e-mail on those things can become obsessive). By giving an employee these types of gadgets, it’s unlikely she will get resentful about having to stay at the office until all hours of the night if she knows she can log off, go home and have a break with her family, and then log back on later when she’s refreshed, and ready to tackle her work anew. And while I don’t have any statistics to back it up, I’m willing to bet my next paycheck that in general, people who have laptops and PDAs for accessing email away from the office are far more likely to work more than 40 hours a week than those who don’t.

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My son’s birthday party is tomorrow.  I tend to do “old skool” parties.  You know, the type we had as kids.  No jumpy houses, no pony rides, no entertainers, no frills.  My son’s party will be at the park down the street.  The highlight this year will be a piñata.

Frills or not, birthday parties are a lot to manage on top everything else I am managing right now.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to plan my son’s birthday party.  It’s the shopping, the organizing, the set-up, and my least favorite, the clean-up that always seem to leave me in a big ball of stress by the end of the party. 

To get everything ready, I am taking a sick day today.  My company offers unlimited sick days and I rarely take one.  I’m much more inclined to work from home during any illness and stay on top of my work.  Earlier this year, I lost my voice for 3 days but continued worked out of the comfort of my bed while starting a high profile project.  I rarely let illness slow me down. 

So how can this birthday party bring me to a dead stop?

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You know the drill: wake up, get the kids up. Get yourself ready. Get the kids ready. Get out the door. Get the kids to school. Go to work. Work. Work. Work some more. Pick the kids up. Make dinner. Get everyone fed, bathed, bedded. Clean up the kitchen. Pay bills, get things organized for the next day, if there’s another adult in the house, pay some attention to him/her, get to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat.

And yet, somehow, through all of this, you’re supposed to make time for yourself. It almost sounds like a bad joke, doesn’t it?

For me, making time for myself is downright necessary, or frankly? I would go so insane with stress, my head might blow clean off my body. It’s important for me to do something each day which allows me to exercise a part of myself that doesn’t have anything to do with child-rearing, or law-practicing. For me, “Me Time” means grabbing my Nikon, and taking some time to look through the viewfinder and find something beautiful. Some days I have enough time to actually devote thirty minutes or an hour to explore the neighbourhood and look for something new. Other times, it means just walking out the door for five minutes, shooting something familiar from a different, or prettier, angle. But taking photographs is something I do try to do daily and for those moments, it means taking some time to forget pressures, obligations, responsibilities and duties, and literally focus on… well, something different.

How about you? What’s your way to get away from it all, even for just a few moments each day?

Over a year ago, one of my female colleagues came to me for advice.  She was unhappy in her current role and had started looking outside of the company for a new position.  She was also newly pregnant.  She was torn between staying in her current role even though she was dissatisfied or searching for a new job while pregnant?  My advice was short and sweet – “Land a new job before you start to show.” 

She did end up taking my advice and landed a new job two months later, just at the end of her first trimester.  Afraid to tell her boss right away, she waited another month to break the news.  Fortunately, her boss was thrilled with the news and was very accommodating about the pregnancy.  My friend delivered a beautiful baby girl last November and returned to work this past Spring after her maternity leave.  I consider her one of the lucky ones.

Although federal anti-discrimination laws make clear that pregnant women are afforded the same protections as any other workers with a temporary physical condition, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission reported a 40 percent increase in pregnancy discrimination complaints since 1992. 

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The company I work for is a relatively large, global company, and in my opinion, it has a surprisingly small law department: it consists of one other lawyer and a paralegal. As a result, my job can be really demanding – it’s not unusual for me to work more than 40 hours per week, and spending the odd weekend or an evening or two to drafting contracts or negotiating deals. Thing is, I actually feel pretty lucky: at most other companies similar to mine, working these hours would require sacrificing a lot of family time to make the job work. However, when I signed on, part of my deal included working from home several days a week – and on days when I do go into the office, I’m usually free to leave at 2:30 to pick up my daughter from her school. Sure, it means that I finish the day’s work many evenings after she goes to bed; however, not having to punch a clock means that for most of her waking hours, I’m available to her.

Again, I don’t kid myself: I realize that I’m incredibly lucky that I’ve managed to work a lot of flexibility into my gig. That said, I’m also pretty realistic in the knowledge that this “flexibility” may cost me as far as future career opportunities with this company, unless I’m willing to give it up – but to be honest? I’m okay with that – I became a parent later in life, and feel pretty pleased with what I accomplished in my working career prior to my daughter’s birth. Right now, it’s all about figuring out what I can accomplish as a mom.

I’m curious: how do you work flexibility in your lives so you can be the best working mom you can be? If you haven’t yet, how would you like to make that happen?