I brought my son with me to work today.  The holiday season has officially started.  And with it comes the School Schedule/Child Care Schedule/Work Schedule Juggle.  What a wonderful world it would be if businesses kept the same vacation schedule as elementary schools!

Maybe I’ll put that on my Christmas Wish List for this year.

In the mean time, I’m thinking of another list.  Today I’m making a mental list of all the things I’m grateful for - as a working mom, as a wife, as a daughter and a sister.  As a woman who wears many, many hats that give her lots and lots of reasons to be grateful.

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Do you ever feel like you are keeping score of your performance as a working mother?  I know, I know… the game of life is not a competitive sport.  Still at the end of every day, I know the score of that day’s juggle.  And whether it was a win, a loss, or a draw.  Sure, these games will never be played on ESPN and there is no fancy Superbowl Ring being handed out for a job well done.  But the announcer in my head is keeping score of how I am doing as a working mother.

“Mom starts the day strong with a 3-point bonus: she manages to pack her kid’s lunch AND pull out the leftovers for Dad and herself.  Everybody eats today!  In fact, it looks like she scored an additional point for extra difficulty; each family member received a fruit, a veggie, a protein, and a whole wheat grain.  Mom is clearly taking control today.”

 “Oh no, Mom lost 4 points for not using her hands-free device on a conference call in the car.  Nervously looking for any cops who can dole out a hefty fine clearly shows that she is not on top of her game.  Can she recover, folks?”

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Last week Friday, the second day after my last day at work, I did something that I’d been dying to do, but hadn’t been able to find the time:  I visited the exhibit entitled The Black List Project at the Houston Museum of Fine Arts.  The exhibit features large format portraits of 24 prominent African-African Americans, and the accompanying documentary included their views of what it means to them to be African-American in 21st century America.

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When I returned to the practice of law a little over a year ago, it was admittedly with some reluctance:  at the time,  I was working from home for a large Fortune 200 corporation, helping manage several of the online publications.  I wasn’t making a lot of money, but I was generally happy:  my time was my own, I was ever-present for my young daughter, it allowed me to write and gave me time for my photography, and I was helping contribute financially to our household.  But then, two former bosses called me and practically begged me to come back to law; because I respect and enjoy working with these two men (and despite my better judgment), I did.

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Last week, right about the same time the first commenter was leaving her comment on my previous post , I walked into the office of my boss, and turned in my written resignation.

The truth is, he knew it was coming.  I’d warned him it was coming about 5 weeks ago — I told him that I intended to leave the company, and while I wouldn’t leave him before September 30th (because my role becomes crucial to closing deals at the end of the quarter), my intent was for my last day to be October 15th. For this reason, last week’s conversation was merely a formality.

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Years ago, when I was young, single and childfree, I was a big fan of the Friday Happy Hour.  Oh, how I loved the Happy Hour!  On Friday evenings, almost without fail, after 5 pm my friends and I would head out to one of The Places To Be in town, relax with our favourite beverages, have a great dinner, and often dance the nights away.  It wasn’t the alcohol that I found so intoxicating, either — at the time, I actually didn’t drink.  For me, the Friday Happy Hour was about forgetting the week’s stresses, spending time with other like-minded professionals, and enjoying each other’s company in celebration of the week’s end.

Fast-forward several years, and now I’m now married, with a young child.  Friday Happy Hours are now, for the most part, a distant memory: they’ve been replaced by Friday Movie Night, consisting of piling on the couch with my husband and daughter, a large bowl of popcorn and the latest fare from Pixar .  And while I wouldn’t trade my current life for anything in the world, I have to admit:  sometimes?  I miss the camaraderie and fun of Friday Happy Hour.  But spontaneous meetings with friends after work is often impossible, since Friday night babysitters are often hard to come by — often, they’re busy with their own Friday Happy Hours.

Enter the Weekend Brunch:  this past weekend, I made plans with several girlfriends, all moms with corporate jobs, to catch up over brunch at one of the really great restaurants near downtown Houston.  And I have to admit, it was damned near perfect:  here I was, forgetting the week’s stresses, spending time with other like-minded women, and enjoying the company of my friends.  Since it was late morning, my husband readily watched our daughter for the couple of hours that I was gone (and I returned the favour later that afternoon as he went trailbiking with his friends).  And even though the sun was blazing outside (unlike the cool moons of Friday Happy Hours gone by), there was still the carefree air of freedom:  freedom from daily stress, freedom from corporate responsibilities.

Now, obviously I won’t be doing the Weekend Brunch with the sort of frequency that I used to meet my friends on Friday evenings fifteen years go.  But the truth is that I kind of felt like Christopher Columbus discovering the New World:  here I was, on the shores of a brand new way to connect with other like-minded friends to decompress, should the need ever arise.  And even if I only meet my friends for Weekend Brunch once each quarter, I think the opportunity to continue to cultivate my friendships and get away from it all — even if it’s only for a couple of hours — will be priceless.

How about you?  What’s your secret to caring for and tending your relationships with your friends, independent of playdates?

Today I am heading out of the office to an all day team building event.  The VP of our organization invited the entire project team to her home for a day of kayaking on the Russian River.  We’ve all been working incredibly hard on this project. And I am thrilled that my VP is recognizing us with a day to hang out, bond, and spend sometime outside during work hours.  Pretty cool, huh?

We’ve all spent countless hours in front of our laptops.  We’ve all lost time with our families, nights, and weekends to ensure that we were successful.  It’s wonderful to get appreciated for the hard work.  It’s great that we get to go outdoors and do something healthy.  I’ve never had a VP who opens her home up, offers a bed for everyone to sleep in, homemade meals, and a relaxing time on a river.  It almost sounds too good to be true. 

I’m trying hard not to sabotage the day by feeling more pangs of guilt for missing another day with my son.  I’ve lost so much time with him over the last month due to this demanding project.  I’ve tried not to choke on the guilt.  So it’s a little hard to be totally excited about getting to spend another day with my team.  It only means another day without my son.  

I’m sure that when I’ll get there I’ll have a great time.  It’s moments like these that are the best for networking.  I’ll get lots of 1:1 time with influential people in my organization all wrapped up into a fun, informal day.   It would be downright foolish of me to pass up the opportunity. 

I know that participating in today’s events that I am doing what’s best for my career today.  But it’s hard not to question if what I am doing is right for my family…   Mommy guilt is like toxic waste.  It’s going to do its best to try to ruin my day.  And I’m going to do my best to ignore it.   Nothing is going to stand in the way of my good time.

Except for my terrible kayak skills.  But I only have myself to blame on that one.

It’s the Fourth of July today.  Independence Day.  The day is one of my favorite holidays.  It’s in the summer, is notorious with a big barbeque, practically every city in America has a parade, and - my personal favorite - a big fireworks show.  Really, what’s not to love about fireworks?

What I love most about the holiday is the laid-back - have another beer - let the kids run around -throw another hot dog on the grill - attitude of the holiday.  It’s not like Thanksgiving where you can be slaving away in the kitchen for the entire day.   I can do Independence Day.  Hot dogs, hamburgers, store bought macaroni salad, fresh watermelon.  That’s my idea of a good time.   And while many counties in California has banned fireworks this year due to the 1000 wildfires in our state, we’ll still have hours of fun with the Slip N’ Slide and Super Soaker.

So here is to a guilt-free Independence Day.  Let the kids have another popsicle, sit down in your lawn chair, enjoy the parade, and relish in the Fourth of the July. 

Just take a TUMS after that second hot dog.  Believe me, you’ll be thanking me later.

I’ve been a working mom for a mere four years; however, I think I’ve been doing this long enough to look around and see that … well … some large corporations could do a thing or two to ensure the undying love and loyalty of their working mom employees. Besides, I’m a firm believer that an happy and loyal employee is a productive employee. So, in an attempt to "help a corporation out" (and with apologies to David Letterman), I thought I’d list, in my opinion, the Top Five Things Companies Can Do to Make Their Employee-Moms* Love Them:

Number 5: No Time Clocks
I think there’s an argument which states that, in most instances, as long as the work gets completed on time, why should it matter what hours an employee performs her job? Often, being a stickler in requiring employees to punch a time clock is a classic example of form-over-substance: there is the implication that a company values full desks between the hours of eight and five more than it does maximizing the productivity of its employees. I guarantee that if a conscientious employee feels like her employer will be flexible with her working hours, she’ll likewise bend over backwards to ensure that her work is of the highest quality.

Number 4: Provide the tools to work away from home
Related to Number 5, a corporation that provides its employees with the tools to work remotely will — surprise! — end up with employees willing to work remotely. This means that instead of desktops, the company provides laptops. Mobile phones. BlackBerrys (or as I like to call them Crackberrys, because seriously, checking e-mail on those things can become obsessive). By giving an employee these types of gadgets, it’s unlikely she will get resentful about having to stay at the office until all hours of the night if she knows she can log off, go home and have a break with her family, and then log back on later when she’s refreshed, and ready to tackle her work anew. And while I don’t have any statistics to back it up, I’m willing to bet my next paycheck that in general, people who have laptops and PDAs for accessing email away from the office are far more likely to work more than 40 hours a week than those who don’t.

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You know the drill: wake up, get the kids up. Get yourself ready. Get the kids ready. Get out the door. Get the kids to school. Go to work. Work. Work. Work some more. Pick the kids up. Make dinner. Get everyone fed, bathed, bedded. Clean up the kitchen. Pay bills, get things organized for the next day, if there’s another adult in the house, pay some attention to him/her, get to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat.

And yet, somehow, through all of this, you’re supposed to make time for yourself. It almost sounds like a bad joke, doesn’t it?

For me, making time for myself is downright necessary, or frankly? I would go so insane with stress, my head might blow clean off my body. It’s important for me to do something each day which allows me to exercise a part of myself that doesn’t have anything to do with child-rearing, or law-practicing. For me, “Me Time” means grabbing my Nikon, and taking some time to look through the viewfinder and find something beautiful. Some days I have enough time to actually devote thirty minutes or an hour to explore the neighbourhood and look for something new. Other times, it means just walking out the door for five minutes, shooting something familiar from a different, or prettier, angle. But taking photographs is something I do try to do daily and for those moments, it means taking some time to forget pressures, obligations, responsibilities and duties, and literally focus on… well, something different.

How about you? What’s your way to get away from it all, even for just a few moments each day?