I don’t know about you, but in my house almost all the gift-giving strategies fall on my shoulders, regardless of the occasion. So if you’re in a similar boat, and you maybe have a hard-to-shop for relative to consider this Mother’s Day, here are just a couple ideas for gifts that fall outside the “lovely framed picture of the grandchildren” spectrum (although frankly, those are the easiest and probably best-received ones):

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After my first son was born I remember reading a parenting book that was supposed to be a collection of tips and tricks from Real Parents Just Like You, except the advice it contained had a real pod-person feel to it and I questioned the legitimacy of contributors like “Anne, mother of 7″ who suggested that dry oatmeal was a fun sensory stimulator for young children. “Just fill a box or plastic tub, and let the good times roll!” Sure, maybe a mother of seven has nothing better to do than vacuum a metric crapload of oatmeal out of every crevice in her house, but somehow I doubt it.

I’d rather read a collection of suggestions that address real-world issues, and “My children do not have nearly enough Quaker products crammed in their bodily cavities” isn’t really a concern I’ve experienced. I still consider myself a mouth-breathing amateur at this motherhood business, but here are a few of the tips I’ve learned over the last couple years, should anyone be in the market for creating a new oatmeal-free book:

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The other day I was giving the kids a bath and I realized I’d forgotten their kid-specific gentle no-tears infant-and-toddler-safe liquid soap in the other bathroom. So I washed them both with my Philosophy “Cinnamon Roll” bubble bath, and while I don’t recommend this course of action (it surely isn’t meant for 8-week-old babies), they smelled SO GOOD afterwards. Such a nice change from the Sour Milk/Hint O’ Poo combo they had going on beforehand.

I don’t normally share my own spendy bath items with the children (I mean, for one, they totally don’t appreciate the fine sensation of a quality bodywash), but I definitely tend to bogart their own hygiene-related products for household use. It’s nice to know all that money you’re dumping into the bottomless Kid Stuff Bucket can go to more than one purpose, you know?

Here’s a brief list of some products and their various uses, feel free to add your own in the comments section:
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On my last post Sarah posted a comment asking whether the Dyson vacuum was worth the expense, and I thought HEY I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION.

Sometimes I think in all caps, I don’t know why.

In the hopes of pooling our collective smarty-pantsedness, today’s post will focus on three insanely expensive products—your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to weigh in on whether or not you think they’re worth the cost. Bonus points if you have actual experience with the product, but totally uninformed opinions are welcome too. I mean, this IS the internet.
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In addition to two children who are determined to systematically destroy every surface of our house with crayons, blunt objects, and various bodily substances, we also have two pets, a dog and a cat. They are known to shed, drool, barf, and occasionally, in the case of our cat, find creative places to void the contents of their bowels/bladder.

I lead a very exciting lifestyle. It involves many paper towels.

For those of you who are pet owners, what sorts of things do you consider must-haves for dealing with their various messes? My list is brief, but CRUCIAL:
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I am not exactly a professional photographer over here. In fact, I don’t know what half the buttons on my camera do, I can’t remember what an F-stop is, and the last time I used my tripod I caught my foot on it and sprawled flat on my living room floor.

But! I do love taking, editing, and sharing photos, and thanks to the tools I use, they don’t always suck. Unless they are of me (because my mouth is always hanging open or my eyes are pointing in two different directions or a fat roll has somehow snuck into the scene), or of my cat (because she always appears to be an amorphous black blob). I post most of my favorite images to Flickr, and one of these days I’m actually going to print some family photos and hang them in my house. REALLY I AM.

Anyway, my suggestions for turning out halfway decent photos without having a single clue about photography:
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Housework, huh yeah! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again, y’all!

(This blog intro apologizes profusely to Edwin Starr, and promises not to describe some of the dance moves that accompanied the author’s off-key singing.)

I have a cleaning service come to my house every two weeks and it is the best investment on EARTH. They stay on top of the maintenance cleaning like toilets, tubs, floors, and dusting, which is an incredible help. Of course, with a husband, toddler, and constantly-shedding dog rampaging through the house every day, nothing stays clean for very long.

I like a non-filthy house, but the never-ending process of trying to keep it decent is about the most unsatisfying activity I engage in on a regular basis, even more so than wiping a poopy butt that isn’t even mine. Whatever you do, no matter how great it looks, it’s going to go to hell in a matter of hours and you’ll have to do it all over again. O Sisyphean Tragedy!

So let’s talk about cleaning-related products that make the entire process marginally less sucky, okay? I know, I know: cleaning products? Sorry, we’ll do something more fun next time, I promise.

My personal picks:
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On the days when my husband and I both work, our schedules go something like this:

1. Take Riley to daycare. Depart for our respective offices, re-convening at the house with child in tow around 5:30 PM.

2. Dinner: sometimes all of us together, sometimes Riley eats first then runs off to play while JB and I eat our own dinners.

3. Playtime with Riley, reading books, taking baths, etc, before his 7:30 bedtime.

4. 7:30 PM - 9:30 PM: JB watches the news, works in his shop, and catches up on work email. I write blog entries, work on freelance projects, and if it’s a good day, follow an exercise DVD.

5. 9:30 - 11 PM: FREE TIME.

Man oh man do I ever relish that free time, where I’ve got no obligations hanging over my head and I can just sit back and relax. Preferably with a giant bowl of ice cream.

While I’m sure we could be engaged with more worthy pursuits, such as playing chess or learning French or, ha ha haaaaaaa, cleaning the house, both JB and I like to veg out in front of the TV during our free time. This is when we watch our Netflix’d movies and recorded TV shows, and I think it’s just one of those homey domestic rituals that helps us stay marginally sane and balanced in the midst of working parenthood.

(I’ve informed our unborn child that upon his arrival he will need to immediately adopt the same sleeping schedule as his older brother. Hey, I can dream, right?)

Here’s what we’ve been watching lately:

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Well, the holidays are over (THANK GOD), but I thought it would be fun to do a quick round-up of our favorite gifts—no, not the ones we selflessly gave to other people, the boxes that had our names written on the packaging. Let’s share our good fortunes! Or more importantly, let’s give each other ideas for neat things we might want to buy for ourselves in 2008!

A few of my favorite things:

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This year as a little holiday present for myself, I replaced our collection of hoopty mismatched dinnerware with a couple of Sango sets, and it’s one of those things I can’t believe I didn’t do years ago. Having bowls and plates that actually go together is surprisingly pleasurable—who knew? Next thing you know I’ll have sheets that match my pillowcases.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about whether or not it would be useful to have some separate kids-only plates and bowls for Riley, because while our new bowls are very sturdy and hard to tip over, they also seem too big and bulky for him. He’s still eating at a highchair, but I imagine he’ll be sitting in a booster seat at the table soon, and in that case it might be nice to have some dinnerware that doesn’t slide around very easily. Here are some things I’ve been looking at:

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