When I was a kid my mother and I lived in Virginia while my grandparents lived in Michigan, and every holiday we either visited them or they came to us. My grandmother used to say, “If Mohammed cannot come to the mountain, the mountain will come to Mohammed”. Then she would bow deeply, a gong would sound, and she would disappear in a cloud of smoke.

Not really, but that particular phrase makes it sound like she was all mystical and stuff, doesn’t it? She also had a saying about sitting in the corner and sucking on a mop, so obviously she was a woman of many fine colloquialisms.

Anyway, if you have small children I hope that the mountain is coming to your Mohammed during this week’s holiday, unless of course you enjoy traveling with small children, in which case may I suggest having an arterial blood gas test? YOU MAY BE DANGEROUSLY LOW ON OXYGEN.

Unfortunately, we have a road trip on the agenda, although on the plus side our destination is one of my favorite places ever. As I’ve been thinking ahead to what we need to pack and how many cups of juice one small boy can be expected to consume during a 6 hour drive (answer: as many as you will foolishly give him, until his diaper explodes with an heart-sinking kaplooey noise), I thought this might be a good time to review a few products that help make car travel with kids just a tiny bit more tolerable.

(Not reviewed: Benadryl, as I cannot with good conscience recommend this course of action, but I certainly know many parents who swear by the Dope ‘N Drive method.)

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