Moms On Issues
Posted by Veronica on April 28th, 2008

on-rampThe basis for tome’s like Linda Hirshmans Get To Work and Lisa Bennett’s Feminine Mistake may appear to be nothing more than telling women what to do but if you can ignore the horrible presentation, the real issue is that Hirshman, Bennett and others are seriously tired of seeing women make up the majority of those living in poverty. Not just making up a large percentage, but that women end up there because we take time out of work to care for our family members.

* Women comprise 56% of Americans over 18 who live in poverty. [cite]
* In 2004, 28.4 percent of households headed by single women were poor. [cite]
* Nearly two-thirds of white women who are poor in old age have not been poor in the earlier years. This demonstrates an increased risk or a newly emerging risk of poverty for many white women. [cite]
* Old age poverty for African-American women reflects economic disadvantages in their earlier years compared with white women. [cite]
* In the United States, the share of elderly women living in poverty is highest among divorced or separated women (37 percent), followed by widowed women (28 percent), never-married women (22 percent), and married women (10 percent). [cite]


Despite the fact that as a mother our number one concern is for our family’s well-being, we should also be concerned for our personal well-being. Throw off that guilt shawl and selfish label like last winter’s coat. Even when we decide to work part-time, take a few years off, or even as full-time workers, we need to make economics are top priority. There’s a saying that women are just a divorce or tragedy away from the welfare line (see stats above). Our economic status most likely will go down if we divorce or our partner dies.

If the worse does happen or the kids are now in school, we have to dust off our resume and pant suit to head back to cubicleland. But how does one readjust to work after 5-10 years out?

If you have the time, try to be a volunteer/intern with a non-profit. They often need help and just might welcome the skills of a former manager. Did you use to work in public relations? I bet there’s a community group near you who might be in need of someone to write their press releases. One such Chicago organization is ParentsWork. They’re looking for a volunteer assistant director to work with the founder/director in expanding membership. Their current campaign is trying to maintain full-day classes in the Evanston School District.

Maybe you have a professional degree like law? Find out if your local bar especially the women’s bar or women’s caucus holds networking or on-ramping events. There’s such an event happening in Chicago on May 6th!

The National Association of Women Lawyers presents “Ready to On-Ramp?”

When: May 6, 2008, 8:30-2:00, with optional workshop from 2:00-3:00
Where: The Offices of Jenner & Block 330 N. Wabash Avenue
Cost: $30, including breakfast and lunch

This full-day event, which received rave reviews when presented in DC last year, is NAWL’s program specifically designed to assist attorneys who have taken time off in developing their own personal strategy for re-entering the workplace. To register and for more information visit their website.

I don’t believe the answer to the economic risks of staying home is to lecture women like they are dumb. Seriously, we all know we’re not dumb. As if you were a top lawyer and then that baby stole your brain…Some days we feel like that though! Rather I’d lke to offer just a few suggestions to minimize the effect staying at home will have on your career. There will always be a price paid for staying at home. While more companies are trying to keep their SAHMs connected to the office, we’re not in a place where all companies are doing this. That’s where you need to keep an eye on it. I know, you’re staying at home, that’s fine and dandy. But one day you may or have to return to work. Let’s all be Girl Scouts and be prepared.

Readers: If you returned to the workforce after a significant time out, what tricks helped you? If you helped women on-ramp after years of caregiving, what advise would you give them? And let’s be nice…no advise about never staying at home…Unless you did and totally regretted it.

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This entry was posted on Monday, April 28th, 2008 at 6:00 am and is filed under caregiving, feminism.

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6 Responses to “Preparing for that on-ramp after years of staying at home”

  • Florinda says:

    One of the reasons I’ve stayed in the workforce full-time throughout my son’s life (he’s in his 20s now) is the awareness of “being a divorce or death away from poverty,” and while I was glad that I contributed to my family’s financial support, it was also very important to me in principle to be capable of supporting myself if need be. As it turned out, after 18 years of marriage, the need did “come to be” when I got divorced - but I knew I was prepared to take care of myself, and I have. I’m remarried now, and contributing to the financial health of my new family by continuing to work - and I still know I could support myself again if I had to.

    I think there’s a risk in not being aware of the risks, if that makes sense - the risks of not being with your kids full-time weighed against the financial ones. I agree that women don’t want or need to be lectured, but I do think we need to look at the big picture.

  • SoftwareMom says:

    I stayed home for the first 22 months then found a part-time software contracting position incredibly fast. If I’d known how easy it was going to be, I might have waited until my son was 2.5 or 3.

    Women shouldn’t be afraid to take a short break of 1-2 years — people do this all the time to travel or if they get laid off, and they’re not out of the workforce for good.

    A longer break of 5-10 years is more difficult, but I really believe that if you are determined and willing to invest in education and networking, it can be done.

  • SoftwareMom says:

    Forgot to give the advice part — keep going to lunch with your old coworkers!

  • Sara says:

    Ah, you bring up the thorn of my existence. The on-ramp!! I off-ramped by choice, knowing that my financial stability lies with my husband. We’ve taken precautions for the worst case scenario, but that wasn’t my motivation for quitting my job. I’m not really networking, I haven’t been great about staying in touch with my coworkers, but I’m not stressed about it. I’m just going to try to enjoy the precious time with my son while he’s little and take it from there, Hirschman and Bennetts be damned!

  • Robyn says:

    I am the primary breadwinner in our household so not choosing to work has never been an option. We can’t afford to live on my spouse’s salary.

    Besides, it is the “what ifs” that keep me from working. If I won the lottery or had the means to never have to think about money, it would be a different story. But I am truly not comfortable with giving up my income and financial control.

    If given the option, I’d prefer to work part-time. But I know that would also most likely stump my career advancement. Yet i’s something I am considering if we decide to have more children.

  • Sarah says:

    Hmm, I on-ramped after being home for 7 years, and it was much more anxiety inducing than it should have been! I stressed for months about timing, options, how much to work, and a whole host of other things before I actually began to DO something about finding a job.

    I did lay out my parameters pretty concretely — I wanted a job where I could pick up my kids from school most days (because I can’t afford aftercare for 4 of them, and the thought of someone else driving them all over creation for practices gave me hives), and I knew that I didn’t want to go back to practicing law.

    As it turned out, all it took was one phone call at what I thought would be my year of on-ramping/gearing up/job searching, and I started work 2 weeks later!

    Is this a career that I want forever? Maybe — there’s lots of room to move both up and sideways. Do I make as much money as I could? No, but at this point, I’m willing to sacrifice some money for the flexibility and fabulous benefits, especially knowing that I can go up in salary and position later.

    On the one hand, I got very lucky, and I know it. On the other hand, the skills that I honed and developed while I was out of the workforce (efficiency and multitasking! Negotiating and prioritizing!) were ones that I could articulate and capitalize on when I was selling myself as an employee, after being home for so long.

    I could write a dissertation on this subject, but I would summarize by saying there are many, many ways to get where you want to go, as long as you don’t shut any doors.

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