Comments on: Preparing for that on-ramp after years of staying at home http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:34:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Sarah http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-173 Sarah Wed, 30 Apr 2008 22:05:36 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-173 Hmm, I on-ramped after being home for 7 years, and it was much more anxiety inducing than it should have been! I stressed for months about timing, options, how much to work, and a whole host of other things before I actually began to DO something about finding a job. I did lay out my parameters pretty concretely -- I wanted a job where I could pick up my kids from school most days (because I can't afford aftercare for 4 of them, and the thought of someone else driving them all over creation for practices gave me hives), and I knew that I didn't want to go back to practicing law. As it turned out, all it took was one phone call at what I thought would be my year of on-ramping/gearing up/job searching, and I started work 2 weeks later! Is this a career that I want forever? Maybe -- there's lots of room to move both up and sideways. Do I make as much money as I could? No, but at this point, I'm willing to sacrifice some money for the flexibility and fabulous benefits, especially knowing that I can go up in salary and position later. On the one hand, I got very lucky, and I know it. On the other hand, the skills that I honed and developed while I was out of the workforce (efficiency and multitasking! Negotiating and prioritizing!) were ones that I could articulate and capitalize on when I was selling myself as an employee, after being home for so long. I could write a dissertation on this subject, but I would summarize by saying there are many, many ways to get where you want to go, as long as you don't shut any doors. Hmm, I on-ramped after being home for 7 years, and it was much more anxiety inducing than it should have been! I stressed for months about timing, options, how much to work, and a whole host of other things before I actually began to DO something about finding a job.

I did lay out my parameters pretty concretely — I wanted a job where I could pick up my kids from school most days (because I can’t afford aftercare for 4 of them, and the thought of someone else driving them all over creation for practices gave me hives), and I knew that I didn’t want to go back to practicing law.

As it turned out, all it took was one phone call at what I thought would be my year of on-ramping/gearing up/job searching, and I started work 2 weeks later!

Is this a career that I want forever? Maybe — there’s lots of room to move both up and sideways. Do I make as much money as I could? No, but at this point, I’m willing to sacrifice some money for the flexibility and fabulous benefits, especially knowing that I can go up in salary and position later.

On the one hand, I got very lucky, and I know it. On the other hand, the skills that I honed and developed while I was out of the workforce (efficiency and multitasking! Negotiating and prioritizing!) were ones that I could articulate and capitalize on when I was selling myself as an employee, after being home for so long.

I could write a dissertation on this subject, but I would summarize by saying there are many, many ways to get where you want to go, as long as you don’t shut any doors.

]]> By: Robyn http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-166 Robyn Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:17:18 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-166 I am the primary breadwinner in our household so not choosing to work has never been an option. We can't afford to live on my spouse's salary. Besides, it is the "what ifs" that keep me from working. If I won the lottery or had the means to never have to think about money, it would be a different story. But I am truly not comfortable with giving up my income and financial control. If given the option, I'd prefer to work part-time. But I know that would also most likely stump my career advancement. Yet i's something I am considering if we decide to have more children. I am the primary breadwinner in our household so not choosing to work has never been an option. We can’t afford to live on my spouse’s salary.

Besides, it is the “what ifs” that keep me from working. If I won the lottery or had the means to never have to think about money, it would be a different story. But I am truly not comfortable with giving up my income and financial control.

If given the option, I’d prefer to work part-time. But I know that would also most likely stump my career advancement. Yet i’s something I am considering if we decide to have more children.

]]> By: Sara http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-165 Sara Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:34:46 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-165 Ah, you bring up the thorn of my existence. The on-ramp!! I off-ramped by choice, knowing that my financial stability lies with my husband. We've taken precautions for the worst case scenario, but that wasn't my motivation for quitting my job. I'm not really networking, I haven't been great about staying in touch with my coworkers, but I'm not stressed about it. I'm just going to try to enjoy the precious time with my son while he's little and take it from there, Hirschman and Bennetts be damned! Ah, you bring up the thorn of my existence. The on-ramp!! I off-ramped by choice, knowing that my financial stability lies with my husband. We’ve taken precautions for the worst case scenario, but that wasn’t my motivation for quitting my job. I’m not really networking, I haven’t been great about staying in touch with my coworkers, but I’m not stressed about it. I’m just going to try to enjoy the precious time with my son while he’s little and take it from there, Hirschman and Bennetts be damned!

]]> By: SoftwareMom http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-162 SoftwareMom Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:13:55 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-162 Forgot to give the advice part -- keep going to lunch with your old coworkers! Forgot to give the advice part — keep going to lunch with your old coworkers!

]]> By: SoftwareMom http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-161 SoftwareMom Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:13:06 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-161 I stayed home for the first 22 months then found a part-time software contracting position incredibly fast. If I'd known how easy it was going to be, I might have waited until my son was 2.5 or 3. Women shouldn't be afraid to take a short break of 1-2 years -- people do this all the time to travel or if they get laid off, and they're not out of the workforce for good. A longer break of 5-10 years is more difficult, but I really believe that if you are determined and willing to invest in education and networking, it can be done. I stayed home for the first 22 months then found a part-time software contracting position incredibly fast. If I’d known how easy it was going to be, I might have waited until my son was 2.5 or 3.

Women shouldn’t be afraid to take a short break of 1-2 years — people do this all the time to travel or if they get laid off, and they’re not out of the workforce for good.

A longer break of 5-10 years is more difficult, but I really believe that if you are determined and willing to invest in education and networking, it can be done.

]]> By: Florinda http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-160 Florinda Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:34:09 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/momsonissues/2008/04/28/preparing-for-that-on-ramp-after-years-of-staying-at-home/#comment-160 One of the reasons I've stayed in the workforce full-time throughout my son's life (he's in his 20s now) is the awareness of "being a divorce or death away from poverty," and while I was glad that I contributed to my family's financial support, it was also very important to me in principle to be capable of supporting <i>myself</i> if need be. As it turned out, after 18 years of marriage, the need <i>did</i> "come to be" when I got divorced - but I knew I was prepared to take care of myself, and I have. I'm remarried now, and contributing to the financial health of my new family by continuing to work - and I still know I could support myself again if I had to. I think there's a risk in not being aware of the risks, if that makes sense - the risks of not being with your kids full-time weighed against the financial ones. I agree that women don't want or need to be lectured, but I do think we need to look at the big picture. One of the reasons I’ve stayed in the workforce full-time throughout my son’s life (he’s in his 20s now) is the awareness of “being a divorce or death away from poverty,” and while I was glad that I contributed to my family’s financial support, it was also very important to me in principle to be capable of supporting myself if need be. As it turned out, after 18 years of marriage, the need did “come to be” when I got divorced - but I knew I was prepared to take care of myself, and I have. I’m remarried now, and contributing to the financial health of my new family by continuing to work - and I still know I could support myself again if I had to.

I think there’s a risk in not being aware of the risks, if that makes sense - the risks of not being with your kids full-time weighed against the financial ones. I agree that women don’t want or need to be lectured, but I do think we need to look at the big picture.

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