The basis for tome’s like Linda Hirshman‘s Get To Work and Lisa Bennett’s Feminine Mistake may appear to be nothing more than telling women what to do but if you can ignore the horrible presentation, the real issue is that Hirshman, Bennett and others are seriously tired of seeing women make up the majority of those living in poverty. Not just making up a large percentage, but that women end up there because we take time out of work to care for our family members.

* Women comprise 56% of Americans over 18 who live in poverty. [cite]
* In 2004, 28.4 percent of households headed by single women were poor. [cite]
* Nearly two-thirds of white women who are poor in old age have not been poor in the earlier years. This demonstrates an increased risk or a newly emerging risk of poverty for many white women. [cite]
* Old age poverty for African-American women reflects economic disadvantages in their earlier years compared with white women. [cite]
* In the United States, the share of elderly women living in poverty is highest among divorced or separated women (37 percent), followed by widowed women (28 percent), never-married women (22 percent), and married women (10 percent). [cite]

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The controversy surrounding Rob Lowe and his nanny’s allegations that he abused her during her employment with his family raises eyebrows not only for the lewd allegations coming from both sides, but also for the complicated dynamics of employing caretakers in your household.

Allowing what amounts is a perfect stranger come into your home, take care of your kids is a daunting thought. Having a nanny or babysitter in your house for extended periods of time can certainly be awkward, even if your nanny is like Mary Poppins. I cannot think of another situation where an employee comes to work only to find her boss dressed in pajamas without any makeup. (If you work in such a place, don’t tell me; I’ll be jealous).

Letting someone else take care of your children, only if for defined periods of time, takes a measure of intestinal fortitude. Who else is going to see how much you spent at Target in one day?

Certainly not your husband. But the nanny knows all. I try not to get too personal with my sitter. If I’m all decked out in workout clothes and she asks if I’m going to the gym, I simply skirt the issue. It’s none of her business how I spend my time when she’s with my son. (However, I’m sure the wet nail polish when I arrive home at the end of the day is a dead giveaway.) There are boundaries to any employee/ employer relationship, and the nanny-mother/father one is no exception.

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I’ve been keeping tabs on a new trend deemed to make the lives of working parents easier: some companies are providing parents the ability and opportunity to bring their babies to work. According to USA Today,

More than 80 companies across the nation allow babies in the workplace, according to Parenting in the Workplace Institute in Framingham, Mass., which says that number is likely to be low.

I know our country is seriously lacking in the flexible and affordable child care department, but I’m not sure bringing your baby to work is the answer to our needs.

There are some serious pros to the argument, as a study reported byTime suggests.

But even naysayers may be surprised by the results of research conducted by Mary Secret, a social-work professor at Virginia Commonwealth University. Her 2005 analysis of 55 businesses with baby-friendly policies found that people often anticipate disaster but there is rarely a negative effect on co-workers or productivity. What’s more, she learned that having babies around can boost morale among colleagues.

Having a baby around may make people feel all warm in fuzzy inside, but does warm and fuzzy really get the work done?
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A former boss of mine liked to comment on every decision she made in my presence because she sincerely felt that as a mentor she needed to explain it all to me. One of the trueisms was that you have to manage and make rules according to the lowest denominator. My concern that day happened to be that we didn’t get access to our sick days until after six months of employment. As a new mom, I knew how valuable sick days were, especially when we also had no access to vacation days until that magical six months.

I return to her advise when I hear story after story of mothers or pregnant women being discriminated against. On the surface I can understand how a supervisor “burned” by a new mom who picks up and leaves for stay-at-home-paradise would hold a grudge against other women. Women like Linda Hirshman would say that this proves that women “opting out” is ruining it for the rest of us hearty women who stay in the workplace. Of course, I’m never that eager to blame other women, but would rather look at the system to see what could change.
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I’ve Veronica and I’m a mom with a lot of issues. Every other week I’ll share some of them with you and I hope we have a great discussion. While I will focus my issues around the media’s portrayal of working moms, I won’t limit myself to that either.

My stance is that as a society we are all still adjusting to the idea of working mothers aka women who have small children and work outside the home, either part-time or full-time. Because our society moves at a snail’s pace in reacting to the rapid change that has happened, it confounds a lot of people, especially those in the media, about whether we are selfish or Superwomen. That said, the fact that every mother is a working mother also confounds people. What do you mean that cleaning and nurturing your child is work? That’s what you are built for right? Well, yes…and no.
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