Reading the business media is sometimes like riding a roller coaster. One minute, former GAP CEO Paul Pressler is a genius, poised to turn around the retailer’s woes. Less than four years later, the guy is considered ineffective and is ousted. Just months before leaving Enron, Jeffrey Skilling was touted as a leadership “powerhouse” by Businessweek. Even Michael Eisner’s dynasty at Disney was eventually attacked and dismembered. These leaders were all once favorites, highly compensated for their apparent accretive effect on the stock price and shareholder value. But, in hindsight, and despite their short-term successes, their leadership may have actually diluted long-term wealth for investors. So how can we objectively measure and compensate leadership results?

It occurs to me that one model may be to look at how we are judged as parents.

No, really, think about it. The parallel is somewhat close. As parents and leaders we are stewards of assets that can have a positive or negative impact on the world around us. Our job in both cases is to develop people to make a positive contribution. Moreover, when we succeed, our legacy carries on beyond us.

Now, let’s think about what would happen if we were judged as parents with the current system of rewarding quarterly growth and profit results. Imagine getting a bonus when visiting the doctor’s office because our children grew 2 inches or gained a pound since the last visit. We must be doing something right. In fact, we might be tempted to feed them a little more carbohydrates, because we know that might make them even heavier next time. After all, by the time that catches up, we won’t be in charge anymore. We also might not want to spend the money on the well child visit at all, because we can measure growth ourselves and all of that other stuff is just unnecessary expense.

Further, when our children come home with a “D” on the report card, we would put them on a 30 day performance plan for improvement. If they fail to improve, and therefore end up in the bottom 10% of their peer group, we would have to swap them with someone else’s children.

Obviously, this is ridiculous, but it makes me wonder how much more long term our thinking is because we are forced to live with the consequences of our parenting for life. The results are more cumulative and our short-term decisions are only important if they are made consistently over time. Also, our success or failure in parenting seems based upon more meaningful metrics, like character and self-sufficiency.

Here’s a thought. What if, instead of bonus performance incentives, we paid our executives an annuity that pays out over the rest of their lives if, over the long term, their organizations grow steadily, avoid negligence, satisfy stakeholders, and improve shareholder wealth; in other words, display character and self-sufficiency.

I wonder who history will celebrate under this model.

I heard recently there has been a downswing in the number of nursing mothers, especially those in corporate jobs. Anecdotally, a friend of mine who delivers care packages to new moms has noticed fewer moms in general seem to appreciate the breast pads and lanolin cream, instead snapping up the pre-mixed formula and bottle nibs. Now, not that my own experience with breastfeeding was so spectacular (a pathetic and painful six month struggle with each of my three children), but I worry about how much the work environment is playing a role in the choice professional moms make. Let me just say for the record I am not advocating either breast or bottle feeding over the other, I am merely conjecturing on how the workplace may play a role in impacting the choice or the sustainability of breastfeeding for professional moms.

When I was nursing my first, I returned to work quite quickly (8 weeks later) and dutifully carried my Medela double electric breast pump back and forth. I would install a “do not disturb” sign on my office door and my mostly male colleagues knew to stay away. So privacy was not an issue. The same company had a “mothering room” for breastfeeding employees, which attracted a really cozy coven of nursing comrades, but it was two buildings away and, after all, I had an office with a door. My second nursing experience was not as nice. It was a different company, and my office walls were glass. My options were the restroom or the executive shower room which my male peers frequented after using the gym, (apparently the gym showers were inadequate for their needs) and in which their soiled athletic wear and smelly shoes were loosely scattered. Heck, at least there was an outlet! On my “do not disturb” sign one of my comedic colleagues detailed the “top ten” reasons why entry was ill-advised.

While many more companies are becoming savvy to the privacy needs of nursing mothers, I think there are other challenges, too. For one thing, these crazy, back-to-back meeting schedules with barely enough time to travel between venues, let alone for a bio break, make it tough to keep pumping (necessary if you want to sustain adequate milk supply). Even with my super fast double pump, I needed a 15 minute break every three hours. While I became pretty efficient with my time during the un-tethered work intervals, I flinchingly recall those long meetings where someone endlessly pontificated until I thought my chest would explode. Travel was also challenging. Even if the pump schedule could be maintained, there was the tragic waste of breast milk because it couldn’t be stored and transported properly. Of course, there is the problem of food. It is hard, even without taking all of those “extra” pump breaks during the day, to get a sustaining bite to eat on a busy executive schedule. When breastfeeding, a typical mother needs an extra 500 calories a day, and preferably healthy ones. At work in the corporate world, this is almost impossible. The choices available for me were the vending machine or whatever I could think to bring from home and scarf ferociously between appointments; not exactly the nourishment a new baby deserves. Some women have a very difficult time with the breast pump itself. Either it is too painful to use or they have trouble getting the milk to ‘let down’ in such a sterile environment. I brought a photo of my baby to help, but I have to admit, it was hard to make the scheduled switch from thinking about marketing strategy to thinking about diapers and baby smiles.

Despite all of the challenges, there are many examples of professional moms who meet their breastfeeding goals. These determined women find a way to keep focused, carve out the time, draw boundaries, and make healthy food available to themselves. Moreover, some companies really have figured out a way to create a better environment for nursing moms.

I would love to hear your horror stories, innovative solutions, and advice for other professional moms who have made the choice to breastfeed their babies. Maybe if we can share, we can improve the odds of success for everyone.

I had coffee with a female acquaintance the other day to talk about her future career prospects. Six months ago she had given birth to twins, and while she originally thought work, and her life, would eventually be the same as they were before children, she was now having trouble returning to her pre-baby routine. I smile now as I remember my early post-baby perspective, “This is just a temporary situation. Once I get some sleep again, I will be back to my old self.” After 18 months of interrupted sleep, “sick days” where I was not the one sick, and a laptop bag full of diapers, pacifiers, crayons, and ground up Cheerios, I suddenly realized that life had changed. Luckily, I think my friend has reached this understanding much sooner.

Part of the issue is that many of us built professional careers by investing all of our waking hours in our work. We have perpetuated the belief that the number of hours in the office is the litmus test for loyalty and achieving results. Let’s face it – if you are relatively smart and willing to spend all of your waking hours at work, you get promoted. There exists a macho attitude that endurance is the mark of great leadership. Those people that habitually leave at 5pm indicate early on they are not interested in prime projects or the elevator to the top floor.

It is especially tough for moms, I think. In the first few months post maternity we are subjected to an even bigger career test. “Will she come back full time? Will she want flexibility? Will she leave?” Even if you can convince everyone you are staying, everything you do is seen as a projection of your entire future career. “She never took sick or vacation time before. Now she is out every week. I am not sure she is as committed as she once was.” Suddenly, your personal reasons for being out are also important and a matter of lengthy discussion. “Is your nanny really late again?” or “Why can’t you stay for 6pm meeting? Oh, you have to pick up your child? I see.” I also really love the recommendations. “How about you go now, pick up your child from daycare, feed him dinner, then come back when everyone is asleep, let’s say, 7pm?“ And finally there are the ‘feats of strength’ challenges. “Um, do you think you could fly to Tokyo next week to attend the partner conference? I know you haven’t slept in 4 months and your staff handled this before but we really think it needs to be you this time.” It is no wonder so many professional moms opt-out – leave the workforce and their high-level careers – so they can stay home with their children.

My colleague, a successful Operations Vice President who has been instrumental in building her organization, is one way or another going to step back from her career right now. It is not that she wants to stay-at-home; she recognizes how much she loves her work and how her interests and skill set are not amenable to full time childcare duties. But her work is one of those fast-paced, binary (“on” or “off”) careers requiring 60+ hours per week and she isn’t willing to relegate her family relationship time to late evenings and weekends. If she stays at work, she risks being sidelined (mommy-tracked), failing to deliver optimal results (at work and at home), or burnout.

The crazy thing is; people like her are exactly who we need in leadership roles today. Moe Grzelakowski studied the traits of 50 female leaders who were moms in her book, “Mother Leads Best.” Not surprisingly, she found women honed critical leadership skills through motherhood and these skills are exactly those often missing in organizations today; Values-based leadership, empathy, humility, long-term perspective, and maturity. Add to that the ability to diaper a child with one hand while conducting an overseas teleconference with the other and I think it is clear moms are all about productivity. What sucks most is if my friend leaves her job for the unpaid joy of full time mothering, statistics say she will only be out on average for 2.2 years, she will have a very difficult time re-entering and she will take a 38% pay cut to do so. Ouch!

There is currently a world-wide leadership shortage. I know this seems hard to believe with all of the labor arbitrage to India and China, but it is true. India projects to need 5000 new CEOs per year for the next 10 years and has no idea where they will come from. The baby boomer generation will leave the workforce over this same time and yet should continue to consume products and services somebody needs to produce. Further, flattened organizations and a lack of succession planning have left dangerously few managers ready to lead. Look at runaway executive compensation: Companies are chasing a shrinking labor pool for top roles and therefore costs are continuing to rise.

My point? They need us, ladies. And where there is a need, there is a solution. Don’t opt out. Instead, ask your organization for what you need. If they won’t give it to you, find an organization that will. Because companies that figure out how to tap us will survive; those that don’t will wonder what hit them.

Most professional women get to a point in their careers where the majority of their peers, and bosses, are men. Only 16% of corporate executives are female, so chances are high if you sit in the corner office, you are the only woman on your floor. This can make asking for, and getting, work flexibility difficult. As compelling as the business case for flexibility is, you have to convince your male boss you are as good as your peers (or better) and that your effectiveness will be enhanced by increased flexibility. If it is granted, you have to work like crazy to ensure nothing falls through the cracks.

It is understandably challenging for a guy who probably has a wife at home full time raising the family, who always has clean, pressed clothes ready and available for work, who has food prepared and ready to eat, and who can work crazy hours without guilt to understand you and give you an audience. So if you have a women boss, at least she should be more willing to provide you some flexibility, right? You would think she would be able to empathize with how difficult it can be to work those same hours when you also make all of the babysitting/daycare/housekeeping/laundry arrangements, ensure food is available and cooked when the family needs to eat, coordinate and arrange all school functions, Halloween costumes, doctors appointments, and birthday parties, not to mention arrange social engagements, family outings, vacations, and date nights.

Surprisingly, many people find they have it even worse with a female boss. A friend of mine once applied for a Friday off to take her family skiing after a long period of intense work with long hours. Her big deadline was to end at 9am that morning and she felt confident she could have all of her team’s deliverables done by the previous night so there would be no issue. Her boss declined and reminded her about company policy for vacations during busy time. So, she dutifully went to work that day, hoping that she could at least leave early once the project was delivered. She submitted the project at 9am and received a “thanks for your hard work” pat on the back by her boss, who then booked an appointment on her calendar to meet about a completely unrelated and irrelevant discussion for 4:45pm that day. Her boss coyly commented, “Oh, I know you probably were hoping to get an early start on that weekend with your family, but it is the only available time I have today.”

I also have known many executive moms who resist allowing part time employees or telecommuters and demand even more hours from their teams than their male counterparts.

Why is this? I think there are several reasons. First, I think executive moms often feel they had to work so hard to get there without the flexibility they needed, that they almost resent those who ask for breaks they didn’t get. Second, I think some female executives had to sacrifice having a family or being their perfect ideal of a mother to get where they were, so they are jealous of anyone trying to have it all. Third, many professional mothers have stay-at-home husbands, which makes them as well-supported and un-sympathetic as their peers.

So, my sisters, I make of you this request: Use your executive power to change the world. We cannot alter what went before us and how people have treated us in the past. However, work flexibility won’t happen unless those in charge make it happen. So, it is our responsibility, as executive moms, to do our part. Suppressing our jealousy of younger women and offering them options we never had is hard, but knowing we made a difference, even in small ways, can be very personally rewarding. Also, statistics show flexibility makes people more productive and increases employee retention, so it’s good for your business. And to those who do “Pay It Forward”, I salute you. You are the pioneers that will give women and men of the future a better place to work.

I recently attended an Entrepreneur’s Conference hosted by Harvard Business School.  The sessions were high-quality and there were ample opportunities to network with other business owners, investment banks, and potential investors.  Overall, it was a great day.  However, I was shocked by the attendee demographics: Despite the fact some 40% of businesses are owned by women entrepreneurs and a large number by minorities, attendees of this conference were predominantly white men.  I would estimate that of the 1000 or so people I saw, 5% were women, and less than 1% were minorities.  Most attendees were from Ivy League schools.  The panel sessions were stiff and the Q&As, formal.  Moreover, blue suits and ties were the dress code – quite an uncommon sight these days in post-bubble Orange County, California. During the opening keynote address, I had the sudden realization I was sitting smack in the middle of a meeting of the proverbial “Old Boys Club”.   I have been to these meetings before, but, since opting out of my executive career to join the “Mommy Track”, my club membership has lapsed so I failed to recognize the signs this was one of THOSE gatherings. 

Most professional women have experienced, and to some extent, penetrated the ivy (league) walls of the Club at some point.  Successful entry requires looking and acting as much like everyone else as possible.  This is not the place for discussions about work-life balance, corporate diversity, or the challenges of working motherhood.  Yet it is important to be part of this, because this is where businesses get funded and where life-long professional contacts are made.  The “Old Boys Club” works, so we can’t be blamed for aspiring to join.

However, it is in this context that I have so much admiration for what WorkitMom’s founders are trying to achieve: Building a community of professional moms so we can help each other achieve strong careers, healthy families, and meaningful personal lives.   It all made me think, “What if I could help design the ideal “Old Girls Club”?  Here is what it might include:

• Membership would of course be open to the top performers from any school or profession, not just the Ivy League
• The dress code would include bright colors and fun, flexible fabrics (Baby drool included!)
• Meetings would be held outdoors or somewhere with access to fresh air, healthy food, and comfortable, conversational seating
• Childcare would be available
• Topics of discussion would include work-life balance, a diversity of thoughts and ideas, and the search for meaning
• We could help each other get access to capital, sit on each other’s boards, and tap our network for a good carpet installer.

I’ll bet the boys would wanna join too.