I have a pet peeve.

Really, Chris? Just one?

Okay, I have more than one pet peeve. I have a whole trunk of them, but the big one is my disdain for junk food pretending to be “real” food.

The granola bars, breakfast bars, “fruit” snacks, “made from 100% fruit” juices, go-gurt, to name a few. Those tubes of yogurt make me want to gouge my eyeballs out. No really. Those and the single serving sized soups that you drink out of the can. Personally I think if you can not find time to use a spoon that you don’t deserve to eat. No soup for you!

I have no problems with eating or serving my children the occasional donut, candy, ice cream, or even Oreo. But the difference is I harbor no illusions that it is anyway good for us.

I read a great article by Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivore’s Dilemma, in the New York Times recently where he wrote:

Once, food was all you could eat, but today there are lots of other edible foodlike substances in the supermarket. These novel products of food science often come in packages festooned with health claims, which brings me to a related rule of thumb: if you’re concerned about your health, you should probably avoid food products that make health claims. Why? Because a health claim on a food product is a good indication that it’s not really food, and food is what you want to eat.

But we are all busy. How do you fit the time in to make healthy foods a priority?

Last year I had undiagnosed food allergies and episodes of anaphylaxis that forced me to be a more vigilant label reader and in the process learn how to cook. If you had told me a year ago that I would enjoy cooking, I would have laughed at you. But now I do enjoy it.

Along the way I have discovered that making good foods also nourishes your soul. And that children already know this. They love pouring and mixing. They delight in handling fresh produce. It all seems magical to them that seemingly random ingredients come together to form food. Getting over the feeling that it is an awful chore that must be suffered through is difficult.

And so I am choosing to view the past year as a gift. Although now that I have learned my lessons I am so ready to pass the gift one. Any takers? No? I’ll throw in a couple of Epi-pens? No takers, huh?

Breakfast is always one of those meals that gets the short end of the stick. Lots of sugars and prepackaged, processed foods. Most of us don’t have the time to make healthy home cooked food in the mornings. Read the rest of this entry »

When my eldest son was about 4 years old I made meatloaf. Since it was something I rarely made, he did not remember ever seeing it. He was oddly excited when he saw me take it out of the oven.

“What is that?” he had asked.

“It’s a meat loaf!” I replied.

“Oh, I love that meatloaf.” he had said.

Dinner time came and I sliced a piece off the meatloaf for him and put it on his plate. He excitedly dove his fork into it. Put it into his mouth. And then spit it back out onto the table.

“That is a yucky cake! I do not like that cake!” he yelled.

Poor child, he thought we were having cake for dinner. I could only laugh. To this day whenever I make meatloaf I say, “Oh honey, remember this is not a cake.” Read the rest of this entry »

My favorite thing about cooking in a crock pot is the way the house smells so good all day. Mmm mmm mmm. Though I think it probably causes me to gain weight since all I can think about is food all day long.

Ignore the food a moment. Isn’t that a pretty plate? It was given to me as a wedding present. There used to be a matching platter that sadly fell and broke one day. Along with my heart because I loved it so. Anyway, I was at the orthodontist the other day waiting for my son and I was browsing through Martha Stewart’s magazine when I saw one of her recipes on this plate. My plate! She is such a copy cat. Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t think that I have ever eaten split pea soup in my life. It is just something that has never appealed to me. I’m not sure why, maybe it was the consistency which I imagined would be like eating a bowl of school paste. Green school paste. My husband has always professed his love for pea soup, hoping that I would one day decide to share the love and make it. But thick green soup? Ugh, no thanks.

I also assumed that my children would not like to eat pea soup. Because thick green soup? Ugh, no thanks. Yes, I project.

Fast forward to this year when we bought a pig. Not a live pig, mind you, but one wrapped in little freezer packages from a local grower. Suddenly I had a whole lot of Babe the Freezer Pig to make into meals.

So I thought, oh what the heck, I’ll make some of that split pea soup with ham. Surely it couldn’t be that bad. I could tell my kids that Shrek liked to eat swamp soup.

I know it sounds so appetizing now that you can hardly wait to make it yourself, right? Read the rest of this entry »

Happy Valentine’s Day.

My children have eaten sweethearts, chocolate, and cupcakes for breakfast. Apparently Valentine’s Day is the national holiday for putting yourself into a sugar coma.

I am not going to write about making cupcakes today. Instead I am going to share our family’s beloved chili recipe. Because let’s face it, nothing says I love you like a meal that requires beano. Flatulence: the gift that keeps on giving.

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Aren’t they cute? I like to call them Hot-opuses. Which is also a cute name. Isn’t it?

Unless you have a three year old who butchers the pronunciation of things. Because then he will be shouting, “I wuv hot pu$$ies” the entire time you are eating dinner. And while it is very funny, you really don’t want to have to explain to the rest of your children why you are laughing. Trust me.
This is a very simple recipe. You will need:

2 lbs of shell pasta
1 1/3 cups of milk
1/2 cup butter
16 oz mild cheddar cheese
16 oz of sharp cheddar
You can use whatever kind of cheese you like. I picked these two cheeses because they are mild and my children like them.
Salt, to taste
Hot dogs

This feeds 10 people. If you have less than ten people to feed. Half the recipe

You want to grate your cheese so that it will melt easily. I have this antique cheese grater that I love. As I use it I like to think about the people who used it before I found it. What were they making? Did they grate the skin off of their knuckles like I frequently do? Did they say, “Mmmm, extra flavor!” like I do? Did they happily cast it aside when more modern inventions came along and made the task easier?

Using the grater is a lot of work. You may even need a snack to help you get through it.

And as always many hands make light work.

Of course you could buy your cheese already grated at the store. But then what will you do with yourself while your pasta is boiling away?

Next you want to grease your casserole dish with your butter. Really slather it on. Neatness does not count in this particular step of the recipe. That will come later.

Toss the rest of the stick of butter into the pot with your already cooked and drained pasta shells. Stir it up so that it melts and coats the pasta.

Next add your grated cheese.

A little at a time so that you can stir it up evenly.

Pour it all into your casserole dish.

Measure out your 1 1/3 cup of milk.

Pour it all over the pasta. Cover with aluminum foil and put into a 350 degree oven for 45 minutes. If you would like the macaroni on the top to get crunchy, remove the aluminum foil for the last 10 minutes of baking. My children do not like the crunchy pasta.

Ten minutes before the macaroni is done, prep the hot dogs.

You want to cut the eight “legs” before you boil them. Hold the hot dog and about one inch from the top of the hot dog slice in half lengthwise. Turn the hot dog a quarter turn and repeat the process. Now is the time for your perfectionist qualities to come out. Each of those four individual legs needs to be cut in half. Because octopi have 8 legs.

My husband said, “Isn’t four enough?” and then proceeded to chop one of the legs off by mistake. So I had to take over the leg cutting lest we have a whole slew of octopus amputees.

You can feel good about feeding your children hot dogs when you prepare them this way. Something about the length of time it takes you to prepare food makes it instantly more nutritious. No really. I swear.

Then put them in your shallow pan of water to cook. They do look like weird octopi now don’t they?

The “legs” will curl up. My 3 year old son saw them at this point and yelled, “They are holding hands!”

Remove macaroni from oven. You will want to scoop it into the bowl and set the hot-opus in top. If I had peas I would have added some to the top of the bowl at this point. But I didn’t.

Add eyes to the hot-opus with mustard or ketchup.

And so we have the perfect kid friendly meal, with nary a vegetable to be found.

In the cold winter months there is nothing I like better than a warm hearty stew. Aside from a tropical vacation where cabana boys bring me fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them, that is.

Read the rest of this entry »

Who doesn’t love beef stew? Especially on the cold gray winter days that make you cold just looking out your window. Those of you who live in warm sunny climates will just have to turn your air conditioners up and pretend. Poor you. Read the rest of this entry »