|
It's Your Fault the Kids Are Fat!
12 comments
Prayer and the Presidency
9 comments
I Don't See the Family Values
8 comments
Does Every Woman Really Count?
8 comments
Our Daughters Are Paying Attention
8 comments |
       |
A couple of weeks ago, I wondered about working mothers who lie to their bosses about scheduling issues that come up because of child care problems — the sitter is late, the nanny cancels, a child is sick.
While there were a mix of answers, I heard from a good number of women who admitted that, yes, there are times when it’s just better to say they were late to the office because traffic was heavy, when it wasn’t, rather than risk compromising their jobs and promotion opportunities for being seen as too motherly and uncommitted to the workplace because the real reason was family care.
It turns out that the moms who fib every now and then have good reason – – more and more parents (mothers and fathers) are finding that they put their careers on the line if they’re honest for needing some working hours flexibility because of caregiving responsibilities. They’re viewed differently — less committed, less reliable — than workers who don’t express an honest need to have time away from the office to care for family members.
California (read: Arnold Schwarzenegger) – you know, one of those really blue states the conservatives dislike — turned down a chance this week to make it illegal to discriminate against an employee for the simple reason of being a caregiver. So while you’re going to be able to sue in court if your employer refuses salary increases or promotion opportunities because of your race or gender or religion, if you live in The Golden State, you’re out of luck if the reason you’re denied a raise or a promotion is because your son or daughter had to go to the emergency room or your elderly parent needed your help.
And that’s the case in most states. So what can families do? If an employer claims to have policies to allow families the flexibility they need to care for sick children, but they’re just for show, how do families navigate those treacherous waters so kids get the care they need and parents don’t lose their jobs, or, at the very least, have some sort of recourse if they do?
Whatever happened to ‘family friendly?’
This entry was posted on Thursday, October 18th, 2007 at 12:06 pm and is filed under Does It Really Make Any Sense?.
Tags: caregiver discrimination, Mommy profiling, PunditMom
October 18th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
I think employers are under the gun, or at least they are pretending they are. At my workplace, positions get eliminated and instead of hiring new employees, they just tack on added responsibility to the existing ones. I think that is getting more and more common, especially as healthcare costs rise. This leads to employers and employees feeling like an employee cannot take a day off without serious consequences. It’s really harsh and really unfair, but I honestly think that unless the government fixes this healthcare mess we’re in, it’s not going to change. Most parents I know cannot afford to lose their jobs (and their healthcare) and therefore aren’t willing to rock the boat. So they send sick kids to school and keep the vicious cycle going. It’s really difficult.
October 18th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
plus you also have that horrible person calling in to take care of grandma or kid that doesnt exist so they can go shopping or off playing (or sleep off that hang over) and take advantage of the situation. but i dont thinke those limited cases should stop progress. We already have the worst maternity leave policies - how can we then not even allow for people to care for each other? As a resident in my grandmother’s assisted living facility said “you keep finding ways to keep us alive longer - then you dont know what to do with us!” so sad and true…
October 18th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
In a country that proclaims its devotion to “family values” every time you turn around, it doesn’t seem that all varieties of families are valued equally. The traditional, old-fashioned, stereotypically gender-roled family still seems to be valued more than any other kind, and that doesn’t accommodate working parents so well.
At the same time, though, employers have been burned by workers who abuse family-friendly policies - and many of us have worked with those people. They are not only being unfair to their childless co-workers, they’re really making it hard on the other working parents, who may feel they have to go in the opposite direction just so one person doesn’t ruin it for everyone.
It’s complicated all around, I think, and it doesn’t look like it’ll get easier any time soon. (And you really don’t want to get me started on the Governator…)
October 19th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Many companies tout what they call their “Work-life” policies, but the reality is, the emphasis is on work, not life. As a former HR officer for a large company, I can tell you how true this is…It’s unspoken, most of the time, but those in the position of being caregivers certainly feel it.
In MA, at least when I worked there, the state had a law that directed all employers that were covered under the FMLA were compelled to allow each employee up to one work day’s worth of hours each year to attend to such issues as family doctor’s appointments, caregiving, school functions, etc.
October 20th, 2007 at 12:32 am
Peg - what you write is so sad, but I know it’s reality. I used to work for a very large company that touted that it was family friendly. My boss came back to work 3 weeks after having a C-section, and she told me that while she knew she had the right to take off more time, she would never be promoted if she did. I think the other reality that persists - and I am not sure what law could reverse this - is that there is informal discrimination against employees who prioritize life vs work, who take off the time that they are legally entitled to.
October 20th, 2007 at 2:57 am
Your headline sums it up just exquisitely.
October 21st, 2007 at 1:15 am
We go through seasons (football season in particular) when we depend on Grandma’s help so that we can both get to work. It’s tiring.
October 22nd, 2007 at 2:05 pm
[...] up for promotions and high quality work when it’s perceived that their parental obligations somehow intrude on office time, now one woman lawyer believes she’s being treated unfairly because she’s spending too [...]