Comments on: I Don’t See the Family Values http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:44:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Work It, Mom! | A Community for Professional Moms http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-151 Work It, Mom! | A Community for Professional Moms Mon, 22 Oct 2007 14:05:48 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-151 [...] up for promotions and high quality work when it’s perceived that their parental obligations somehow intrude on office time, now one woman lawyer believes she’s being treated unfairly because she’s spending too [...] [...] up for promotions and high quality work when it’s perceived that their parental obligations somehow intrude on office time, now one woman lawyer believes she’s being treated unfairly because she’s spending too [...]

]]> By: Daisy http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-149 Daisy Sun, 21 Oct 2007 01:15:37 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-149 We go through seasons (football season in particular) when we depend on Grandma's help so that we can both get to work. It's tiring. We go through seasons (football season in particular) when we depend on Grandma’s help so that we can both get to work. It’s tiring.

]]> By: Mom101 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-148 Mom101 Sat, 20 Oct 2007 02:57:41 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-148 Your headline sums it up just exquisitely. Your headline sums it up just exquisitely.

]]> By: Nataly http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-147 Nataly Sat, 20 Oct 2007 00:32:40 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-147 Peg - what you write is so sad, but I know it's reality. I used to work for a very large company that touted that it was family friendly. My boss came back to work 3 weeks after having a C-section, and she told me that while she knew she had the right to take off more time, she would never be promoted if she did. I think the other reality that persists - and I am not sure what law could reverse this - is that there is informal discrimination against employees who prioritize life vs work, who take off the time that they are legally entitled to. Peg - what you write is so sad, but I know it’s reality. I used to work for a very large company that touted that it was family friendly. My boss came back to work 3 weeks after having a C-section, and she told me that while she knew she had the right to take off more time, she would never be promoted if she did. I think the other reality that persists - and I am not sure what law could reverse this - is that there is informal discrimination against employees who prioritize life vs work, who take off the time that they are legally entitled to.

]]> By: Peg http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-146 Peg Fri, 19 Oct 2007 22:44:36 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-146 Many companies tout what they call their "Work-life" policies, but the reality is, the emphasis is on work, not life. As a former HR officer for a large company, I can tell you how true this is...It's unspoken, most of the time, but those in the position of being caregivers certainly feel it. In MA, at least when I worked there, the state had a law that directed all employers that were covered under the FMLA were compelled to allow each employee up to one work day's worth of hours each year to attend to such issues as family doctor's appointments, caregiving, school functions, etc. Many companies tout what they call their “Work-life” policies, but the reality is, the emphasis is on work, not life. As a former HR officer for a large company, I can tell you how true this is…It’s unspoken, most of the time, but those in the position of being caregivers certainly feel it.

In MA, at least when I worked there, the state had a law that directed all employers that were covered under the FMLA were compelled to allow each employee up to one work day’s worth of hours each year to attend to such issues as family doctor’s appointments, caregiving, school functions, etc.

]]> By: Florinda http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-145 Florinda Thu, 18 Oct 2007 17:09:05 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-145 In a country that proclaims its devotion to "family values" every time you turn around, it doesn't seem that all varieties of families are valued equally. The traditional, old-fashioned, stereotypically gender-roled family still seems to be valued more than any other kind, and that doesn't accommodate working parents so well. At the same time, though, employers have been burned by workers who abuse family-friendly policies - and many of us have worked with those people. They are not only being unfair to their childless co-workers, they're really making it hard on the other working parents, who may feel they have to go in the opposite direction just so one person doesn't ruin it for everyone. It's complicated all around, I think, and it doesn't look like it'll get easier any time soon. (And you really don't want to get me started on the Governator...) In a country that proclaims its devotion to “family values” every time you turn around, it doesn’t seem that all varieties of families are valued equally. The traditional, old-fashioned, stereotypically gender-roled family still seems to be valued more than any other kind, and that doesn’t accommodate working parents so well.

At the same time, though, employers have been burned by workers who abuse family-friendly policies - and many of us have worked with those people. They are not only being unfair to their childless co-workers, they’re really making it hard on the other working parents, who may feel they have to go in the opposite direction just so one person doesn’t ruin it for everyone.

It’s complicated all around, I think, and it doesn’t look like it’ll get easier any time soon. (And you really don’t want to get me started on the Governator…)

]]> By: Kate http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-143 Kate Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:44:14 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-143 plus you also have that horrible person calling in to take care of grandma or kid that doesnt exist so they can go shopping or off playing (or sleep off that hang over) and take advantage of the situation. but i dont thinke those limited cases should stop progress. We already have the worst maternity leave policies - how can we then not even allow for people to care for each other? As a resident in my grandmother's assisted living facility said "you keep finding ways to keep us alive longer - then you dont know what to do with us!" so sad and true... plus you also have that horrible person calling in to take care of grandma or kid that doesnt exist so they can go shopping or off playing (or sleep off that hang over) and take advantage of the situation. but i dont thinke those limited cases should stop progress. We already have the worst maternity leave policies - how can we then not even allow for people to care for each other? As a resident in my grandmother’s assisted living facility said “you keep finding ways to keep us alive longer - then you dont know what to do with us!” so sad and true…

]]> By: PT-LawMom http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-142 PT-LawMom Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:31:01 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/punditmom/2007/10/18/i-dont-see-the-family-values/#comment-142 I think employers are under the gun, or at least they are pretending they are. At my workplace, positions get eliminated and instead of hiring new employees, they just tack on added responsibility to the existing ones. I think that is getting more and more common, especially as healthcare costs rise. This leads to employers and employees feeling like an employee cannot take a day off without serious consequences. It's really harsh and really unfair, but I honestly think that unless the government fixes this healthcare mess we're in, it's not going to change. Most parents I know cannot afford to lose their jobs (and their healthcare) and therefore aren't willing to rock the boat. So they send sick kids to school and keep the vicious cycle going. It's really difficult. I think employers are under the gun, or at least they are pretending they are. At my workplace, positions get eliminated and instead of hiring new employees, they just tack on added responsibility to the existing ones. I think that is getting more and more common, especially as healthcare costs rise. This leads to employers and employees feeling like an employee cannot take a day off without serious consequences. It’s really harsh and really unfair, but I honestly think that unless the government fixes this healthcare mess we’re in, it’s not going to change. Most parents I know cannot afford to lose their jobs (and their healthcare) and therefore aren’t willing to rock the boat. So they send sick kids to school and keep the vicious cycle going. It’s really difficult.

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