Buzz is in the air about a new book called How Not to Look Old.
Bit by bit I’ve been “coming out” about my looming big birthday. And as I contemplate what 49-going-on-I-don’t-feel-50 should look like I find thoughts of Botox dancing in my head. And then I feel ashamed.
Aren’t I supposed to embrace myself as I am? I certainly don’t want to send the signal to my eight-year-old daughter that mommy is obsessed with her changing body because soon enough she’ll be confronting her own changes that I want her to embrace. How non-P.C of me to struggle with my bulges and my roots!
Still, I wonder — should I hate this book or run to Barnes and Noble to buy it?
We all know from Hillary Clinton’s critics that no matter how smart or accomplished or powerful a woman is, she’s still going to take some heat for her well-earned wrinkles. Hence the market for this new book.
One writer I love and respect, Lisa Takeuchi Cullen at Time Magazine, thinks I shouldn’t be too quick to harshly dismiss How Not to Look Old since some of the advice could be strategic for getting ahead in the workplace. So I started investigating.
Some of the author’s advice I can go with. From what I gather, if you use a little common sense, I probably already am doing a few things to look “ten times better” — like not wearing jeans with a rise so low that when I bend over I get the Norge repairman look! But I’m going to have to pass on having bangs. Sure, that might make me look younger, but I don’t want to look like I’m 12. Also, I’m not sure about giving up real undies for thongs everyday. That could get a bit uncomfortable.
Some advice that might have spared Hillary some heat? Maybe losing the boxy blazers would have been a good idea, but I have a feeling that no matter what Hillary had decided to wear on the campaign trail, her arch-enemies still would have found something about her appearance to suggest she shouldn’t be Commander-in-Chief.
In the end, How Not to Look Old author Charla Krupp claims that taking her advice is the “ultimate feminist statement! I’m not sure that Gloria Steinem would agree with that, but she probably would acknowledge that no matter how far we’ve come, someone will always find a new way to tap into out feminine insecurities, even if they have to invoke the name of feminism to do it.
That blonde cover”girl” is what we’re supposed to aim for at age 50ish? Um, not liking it. Please, let’s have some dignity, ladies!! This means being who you are, accepting your age, and looking good without trying to look like a 22yr old for the rest of your life. Still, sounds like a potential bestseller… :))
Diane | March 3rd, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I have to agree with you on the bangs. Layering the hair around my face a little more is OK with me, but not bangs, unless they’re long enough that they don’t really LOOK like bangs.
But in the bigger scheme, I think that “aging gracefully” is still a worthy goal; it just looks a bit different now. I don’t think we have to give in to all of nature’s changes in our bodies right away if we don’t want to, but after awhile, fighting them too hard actually CAN make us look older, because it just gets too obvious. And I think that accepting ourselves at whatever age we are (and look like) is the real “feminist statement.”
Florinda | March 3rd, 2008 at 6:50 pm
maybe i am too young
but i dont see anything wrong with wanting to look youthful! I mean i dont want to look age inappropriate, but really, after 30 it’s all pretty much the same look, right? i mean do they have ‘rules’ for when you are 70 for clothes you need to stop wearing least you look 50? Why are there ‘rules’ for women that say we can dress/look a certain way from 15-29 and then after that it’s all ’sensible’ or ‘age appropriate’?
sorry for the rant… i just dont see what’s so wrong with wanting to not look old….
Kate | March 3rd, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Ummm… I have poufy hair. Bangs would just make me look like I’d had a bad accident with a set of hedge clippers.
I like her point that some of the best beauty products she’s tested can be found at Target. Maybe the real point of her book is that we have to take care of ourselves, no matter what our ages.
Lylah | March 4th, 2008 at 2:28 am
Lylah! you made me laugh at my desk! and it’s SO QUIET HERE! oh the mental image…
i have read in a number of places that oil of olay is some of the best stuff out there - and not terribly expensive (though it kills me to pay $17 for a tiny bottle of ’serum’ but my dry/sensitive skin LOVES IT and i tell myself it is still less expensive than stuff that doesnt work half as well)
i like your line: “we have to take care of ourselves, no matter what our ages.”
Kate | March 4th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Kate, Nothing wrong with wanting to look young, it just seems like we have SOOO many books and other outlets that are obsessed with it!
Lylah, wasn’t there a haircutting reality show where one of the contestants actually DID a haircut with hedgeclippers?? You two could get together! :O
PunditMom | March 4th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
PunditMom - so true! in both directions it seems! ‘look great with these 5478903 tips” or “dont fall trap to feeling like you have to look good! use these 374927 tips!”
i ignore it all and read my O mag, Vogue, and recently found Martha is putting out a mag called ‘body+ soul’ and it’s all organic and green and fun. it’s all about balance right? haha!
Kate | March 5th, 2008 at 2:52 pm