A few weeks ago our family went to the Louisville Zoo. After taking out a second mortgage at the gate, we enjoyed an afternoon of walking around in 374% humidity, and looking at the animals. One animal that fascinated me was the Wooly Monkey. They performed amazing feats of daring-do on the ropes that crisscrossed their pen. They were so graceful, such effortless climbers. Around the perimeter was a wide cement trench filled with about a foot of water. On the other side of the trench was a 3 foot fence (which they could have easily scaled), and beyond it lay freedom!

12 inches of water. That’s all that prevented those little furballs from hightailing it to the airport. Apparently Wooly Monkeys are deathly afraid of water, or else they really, really hate to get their feet wet, because not one of them tried to escape. I kept waiting for one of them to stand on the edge, look down at his reflection, and then look out at the people with an expression that said, “Tonight, when you suckers are gone, I’m busting outta this joint.”

They stay in the refuge of the familiar, rather than take a risk, because they have no idea what lies beyond that fence. Which made me go, hmmm, sometimes that’s how I feel about starting my own business. Of course, what lies beyond the fence is a swift net, and a tranquilizer gun, so, you know, the metaphor does break down.

These days I’m of two minds. The first mind thinks, “Wow, this is so cool. I’m doing what I love, and getting paid for it.” The other mind thinks, “What in the hell am I doing? Starting a company in a field in which I have no formal training, no professional experience, and no contacts, that’s what. Who do I think I am, Gertrude Ederle?” Shut up, other mind, because I have a good eye for design, a good head for business, and good hair for ripping out (that’ll come in handy later, I’m sure).

I could easily hole up in my vine-filled habitat. I’m definitely not a Type-A. And sometimes the thought of taking this on, quite frankly, scares the crap out of me. But the bigger part of me wants to see what’s out there, wants see if I can do it. I’m kind of jaded when it comes to all that Oprah “open yourself to the universe blah-de-blah.” I figure if the universe wants to find me, it knows where I live. But there is an aspect to doing something like starting your own business (or changing fields, or landing a promotion, etc.) where you have to visualize your success. And I can see it. I can see myself landing bids, and creating great designs, and making a good living.

“Ssssh,” my other mind hisses. “Don’t tell the whole internet you think you’re going to be a success! You’re jinxing yourself, not to mention sounding a little too big for your britches.” But I can’t help it, in fact, I may as well confess, it makes me giggle inside to think of it. What are you visualizing these days?

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Related links: women are risk-averse– no, no, women are natural risk takers