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I'm really tempted to take the puppies. (Edited)
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Should we stay or should we go?
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I can feel it coming on. It starts with fluttering high in my chest. The sensation moves up through my shoulders to my head. It feels like part of me– not my body, but some nebulous part of me– is being sucked through a straw. I feel slightly dizzy, my thinking is fuzzy. Tears spring up, and I try to blink them away. I startle easily. I feel things closing in. A panic attack? Maybe, but it’s more of an undercurrent, a lower grade feeling, not as drastic as “panic attack” sounds.
My husband will be changing jobs soon. I hope to blessed and wonderful God we won’t have to move to another state. I’m not even going to THINK about it right now. La lala la la, this is me sticking my fingers in my ears. I’m starting a business. My two daughters are returning to school, after being homeschooled last year, and if you read my other blog, you know that I would rather have them at home. My 5-year-old is starting pre-K this year. It’s a full day program, and he’s been at home with me for the past 5 years. (See, here comes that feeling. Rolling underneath, looking for a crack so it can rise to the surface.)
I’m taking some liberties here, because I suppose the topic of stress isn’t directly related to my work, but of course work will be effected by the rest of my life, and vice versa. I also get S.A.D, and with winter around the corner, I know I need some mental reserves I can draw from later.
I can tell you one thing; I refuse to go down. I picture myself like Daffy Duck (I know, Daffy is not your typical Zen guru) when he was Robin Hood, parrying and thrusting at stress with my handy quarter staff. And that’s precisely what I plan to do. I know the best way for me to combat stress is to take really good care of myself. It’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity. The same way I regularly (mostly– inconsistency is one of my problems) take my medication, so too there are other medicines I must use to keep my health.
- pray
- have a sense of humor
- feed my curiosity
- ride my bike
- keep my house clutter free
- stay away from junk food
- get to bed on time
- eat a lot of protein and veggies
- make “To Do” lists of actions I can take, instead of worrying
I’m not particularly good at parenting myself, but it’s clear: if I want to exit the tunnel of winter healthier than when I entered, steps must be taken.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 15th, 2007 at 12:56 pm and is filed under I'm 4' 11", it's easy to get in over my head.
August 15th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
I know, I seem to be stalking you, sorry, I just love reading what you write! hang in there sista! This is a season of change and it takes awhile for your head to get wrapped around it but you will get to that point! I know how you feel cause we started a business and my homeschooled kids are going to goverment school this year too and I feel overwhelmed! I know God is bigger than all my concerns so I’m just tryin to believe that ALL things DO work together for good.
August 15th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I can relate to this post from the job change and moving standpoint. We moved for my husband’s work after starting my first business. We are now possibly facing another move in the near future. It is stressful! I also suffer from S.A.D. during the winter months (mostly rainy days though). I think of stress management like a tool box. There are many things in there that work for me such as walking, journaling, taking a bubble bath, or a quick cup of tea. When I get overly stressed I just go to my mental tool box and grab one that sounds good at that moment. Sometimes I forget and boy do things get overwhelming when that happens.
I love the image of Daffy Duck with his quarter staff. 
August 15th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Olga, you can stalk me anytime. Maybe we can be mutual support for each other.
Meri, you’re so right, just like a tool box. I need to rummage around and see what I’ve got in there.
August 15th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
That list you wrote up is excellent and it sounds like you have all the right ingredients to make it through ANYTHING if you stick to even half of it!!
August 15th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
I am also already thinking about S.A.D.! And it’s only August! But that is how insidious it is. Ugh!
I love the list too!
August 15th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
Liz, thanks, you’re so encouraging
Jen, glad to know I’m not the only one
August 16th, 2007 at 1:01 am
Sheryl - I’m so with you!
As you know, we moved 2 months ago, I changed careers, our daughter is in daycare (and having all sorts of issues) vs being at home with a nanny, we;re living 5 minutes from my parents and 15 minutes from my husband’s. I worry about winter starting in May - I used to say in can bring on SAD just by thinking about winter nights.
Don’t have any magic suggestions, just wanted to say I totally know what you’re going through. The one thing that my friend always reminds me about is to do something everyday that I really enjoy. Sometimes, for me, it’s grabbing a piece of dark chocolate as I run somewhere, but I try to stick to that!
August 17th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
I don’t do it but I’ve heard yoga is a wonderful way to get exercise and clear your head. It is supposed to be very mentally clearing. So when the weather turns too cold for biking maybe yoga would be a great replacement?
August 17th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Nataly, I remember moving with little ones, and is it ever stressful! And of course it’s one thing when you have issues, but when your kid has stress, thats 10x as hard. Hang in there.
Kathy, I’m definitely going to try it yoga. The treadmill is just soooo boring.