School started yesterday, and all three of my children are in school for the first time. My kids are 9, 6, and 5, and have been at home with me during the preschool years. I didn’t put them in daycare, or use in-home help at all (not that I’m bragging, at times I would’ve liked help, but while living on one salary that wasn’t an option). For the first time ever, I’m apart from my children from 7:00 to 2:00. And it’s KILLING me.

Last year I homeschooled, and I loved it. Originally, I decided to homeschool for a year because Haley, my middle kiddle, was only 4 when she started Kindergarten (she has a late September birthday), and all her classmates were much older than she, so I decided she needed another year before heading into first grade. Emily, my oldest wanted to stay home too, so I enrolled them both in a terrific online academy. When it came time to put them back in public school, I practically had to drag myself by the hair to enroll them. Sometimes what I want to do, and what I think is the right thing to do for my kids, isn’t the same thing. I hate it when that happens.

Fortunately my children are having no problems whatsoever adjusting to their days away from me. I comfort myself with the thought that I’ve been able to contain how much I miss them, so that it’s not causing them any angst. I also know I’m not a “helicopter” mom; I’m not controlling, and I don’t smother them. My children do and should have lives, thoughts, and identities that are separate from mine. They need to develop skills that will help them get their own needs met. They need to fly– BORN FREEEEEE, AS FREE AS THE WIIIND BLOOOOWS…

Oh, sorry.

So this week I embark on the same journey that 99% of all working mothers trek: leaving my kids in the care of someone else, while I pursue my career. Whether you took 8 weeks of maternity leave, or waited until your last kid was in Kindergarten before jumping back into the career pool, many of the issues are the same.

• When I’m not mothering, who am I?
• Will I be able to be there for my kid, when it counts?
• How will my children perceive my work?
• How will their needs be met?
• How will my needs be met?
• What the heck are my needs, anyway?

How did you resolve these questions, and what magic poultice did you use to take the initial sting out. If I don’t feel better soon, I may have to break out the chocolate.