Yesterday Mir posted about severing ties with a client, and a while ago she wrote about evaluating which clients to take on. These posts got me thinking; even though I’m just starting out, it’s probably a good idea to have parameters in place for the type of jobs I want.

Of course, freelancers don’t typically blog about turning down work, but after perusing the internet, I found some guidelines. Don’t pick up clients who are difficult to work for, or people who have burned you in the past. Don’t do pro-bono work, unless it will lead to future opportunity, or other non-monetary reward. That’s pretty much common sense, but what kind of work should a freelancer pursue?

The consensus seems to be you should commit to projects you feel enthusiastic about. Pamela Slim, who writes at Escape from Cubicle Nation says that even when times were lean, or she could have made substantially more money, she still turned down work she didn’t feel passionate about.

Be ruthless in defining the kind of people you want to work with and the kind of work you want to do. If anything seems inappropriate, unethical or is not a good fit, run screaming! Go after business you do want with a vengeance.

Steve Pavlina believes that it pays to be discerning about your clients, and that one of the most common mistakes made by the newly self-employed is casting too wide a net in the client pool. He’s another successful business person who declines any offer which doesn’t inspire him. It makes sense, doesn’t it? If your pumped-up about your work, that enthusiasm carries a lot of momentum to help propel you through problems. It’ll give you a sense of confidence, which may in turn, increase your competence. And generally the things we feel passion for are the things we value, which, according to Steve Pavlina, is what business is all about.

“It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the purpose of a business is to make money. But the real purpose of a business is to create value. While it’s possible to make money in the short run without creating much value, in the long run it’s unsustainable.”

Not only that, but lets face it, if you like your job it’s a lot more fun to go to work every day. Even if work is in your dining room.

MSNBC has an article profiling a new device called the Energy Pod. A high-tech version of the Kindergarten mat, it affords sleep deprived employees and executives a power nap during the day. Invented by Arshad Chowdhury, founder of New York based MetroNaps, the company hopes to introduce the Energy Pod into the workforce in order to “improve employee morale, while boosting the bottom line.”

While the business person in me loves that Chowdhury launched his company in order to solve a problem (and very creatively at that), and though I think this could really come in handy for post-lunch hours at work, and ultimately it’s healthier than another pot of coffee, the mother in me isn’t impressed.

The “sleep industry” is now a booming business, which pulled in 20 billion dollars last year. Americans working more and sleeping less, sometimes with dire consequences– over 100,000 car accidents each year are the result of drowsy driving. It seems as though every magazine, and morning news show has some kind of feature on how overworked and exhausted we are. Some people even seem boast about it, as if you can earn some sort of merit badge for running yourself into the ground.

I know there are circumstances from time to time which require us to sleep less, and of course there are millions of Americans who suffer from insomnia, but what I’m talking about is the general trend in business that promotes sleeping less and working more. Doesn’t the Energy Pod encourage that trend? Instead of trying to re-order our lives so that we can get the sleep we need, now we can just catch a cat nap at work.

Well, another venti latte with an extra shot, or a 40 winks in a fiber glass bed isn’t going to cut it. Geez, America, you need your sleep! So turn off the blackberry, close the laptop and go to bed.

Sometimes it’s lonesome out here on the freelancing frontier. No one around for miles, just a dusty wide open (office) space, where only the occasional howl of a wolf, and the chime of the email notifier are heard. A few tumbleweeds, and diet coke cans blow across the deserted expanse. Just me, riding my ergonomically designed, leather steed across the wooden floor to the waterin’ hole. Yesirree Bob.

Which is why freewheeling freelancers like me need to network. Joshua Levy wrote a post for Web Worker Daily, and states the problem beautifully.

“When I go too long — more than a day, really — without significant human contact during the workday, I feel like I’m wilting. It’s as if human interaction is the sun, and without it I can’t grow. I get less and less sharp the longer I go without it.”

Yeah, trying being a stay-at-home-mom, Joshua. Oh sorry, did I say that out loud? Anyway, Joshua is absolutely right. Since I’ve been at home for nearly a decade (Dear Lord, I swear I just felt ten hairs turn gray as I typed that), the transition from raise-kids-at-home to work-at-home didn’t change my loneliness factor, but it is, definitely a BIG factor.

But, I face the same problem as a freelancer as I did as a SAHM. I don’t really know how to network. Aside from the fact that I break out in hives whenever I have to interact with strangers, I’m not exactly sure how to get started.

There are sites like LinkedIn, and Facebook, both of which I joined, was baffled about how in the world to use the darn things, and quickly deleted my account faster than you can say “wallflower at the prom.” Web Worker Daily also had an post about how to use LinkedIn more productively, which I read, then stared at the screen catatonically as drool rolled down my chin. Have any of you used these sites as a source to find clients, or meet other professionals?

Researching further, Shane and Peter recommend going to business conferences, and chamber mixers as a way of meeting new clients, and these could be places I could meet fellow graphic designers, as well as joining professional associations. But how do I find these professional networks? I’ve scoured the internet, and can find hide nor hair of any events I could attend. Of course, I live in the sticks, so that doesn’t help matters. How do I scope out other freelancers in my area?

Co-working, or sharing office space is also a growing trend among freelancers. Although those aren’t options for me right now, I’d be interested in hearing about anyone’s experience with them.

Another thing I’d could do is partner with another graphic designer in a mentoring relationship. I would love to have the benefit of someone else’s experience. Or I could partner with another writer to collaborate on projects.

Obviously there are a lot of options, but I’m not quite sure how to explore them. If any of you can recommend resources, I’d be much obliged, ma’am *tips Stetson*.

Last week I crossed the rickety wooden bridge strung between two cliffs. I turned down work. It sounds daring, but really it was a no-brainer. A while back I had a “client.” (And I use the term loosely. In place of client, fill in your favorite noun swear word. It’s like Mad Libs!)

When I do a design for someone, after I complete the initial design there’s generally a lot of back and forth emails as we collaborate on changes. So this client and I are working through these changes, and the emails stop. After a couple of days I re-send my suggestions, and let him know I’m ready to finish tweaking it, he emails me back, says he’s busy, and he’ll get to it next week.

Fine, no worries I have other projects to work on. Ten days later I email him again, and he says blah blah blah, discontinuing project. No problem, my contract states that if you cancel mid-project, I bill you for hours worked to that point. I send an invoice, and wait.

Well, you know how the story ends.

So last week I get an email.

Long time no see! Let’s finish project!

Hi! You owe me money! Please pay now!

No problem! Let’s finish! I’ll pay a lump sum at the end!

Hi! You owe me money! Please pay now!

Yes! Later!

Wow! I’m all booked up!

Actually I’m surprised the guy contacted me again. The audacity of some people amaze me. Now I’m pondering small claims court all over again.

So, nothing but crickets chirping on that last post, huh? Okay, moving on, let’s talk about dropping your kids at daycare. Will continues to weeeep in the mornings as I drop him off at school. This morning I decided to let my husband drop him off, because he’s used to saying goodbye to him every morning. Or, maybe because I’m sick of hearing him scream, and I foisted the drama off on Aaron, I really couldn’t say.

Anyway, I know from working with wee ones that his separation anxiety is just a phase, and eventually he will be able to say goodbye without tears. There are some things you can do to ease the time of separation.

• Invent a goodbye ritual. It should be short, and simple. Tell your child the night before, and in the morning when they’re getting dressed, how you will say goodbye. (”We’ll hang up your coat, and say hi to the fish, and then I’ll give you a hug and kiss.”)
• Let you child take something comforting at home with them, a blanket or special stuffed animal.
• Tell your child when you’ll be back, even if they’re not old enough to understand time, tell them you’ll be back after nap time, or snack, etc.
• Don’t prolong goodbyes with extra hugs and kisses, or comforting words, it won’t make it easier for the child to say goodbye to you.
• Be upbeat. Instead of telling the child you will miss them, tell them you’ll be glad to see them later. Smile, and don’t sneak a look back once you’re headed out the door.

Even though you’re doing all these things, it may take some time for your child to say goodbye without a fuss. But eventually (s)he will adjust to separating. Most kids do stop crying within 10 minutes or less of the parent walking out the door. Some within seconds. I’m hoping Will gets used to saying goodbye soon, because as you know, it’s a real heart-breaker. I’ll be curious to see if it was easier for him to say goodbye to Aaron.

I’m taking 2 classes this semester at a community college in order to expand my business to include web design. I love school. I love walking around on campus, especially during fall when the leaves start to change and the days are cooler. I love sitting in the classroom and interacting with other students. I love teachers, and white boards, and learning new stuff. I haven’t taken a class in about 8 years, so I should be really excited.

I should be.

I missed the first week of classes because I was out of town. I emailed my professors, and one of them told me it was no biggie, we’d be covering XYZ. The other one has me completely confused. He’s posting all assignments and other communication on the college intranet, okay, fine. But we’re having a quiz on Tuesday– as in tomorrow– and I can find neither hide nor hair of any actual assignments. What can he possibly be quizzing us on, personal hygiene?

The school intranet is totally NOT USER FRIENDLY, and I cannot figure out how I’m supposed to post my assignments, or if a “module” means “class” or half of the other jargon. Also I conveniently forgot that when you take a class it’s customary to BUY THE BOOKS. Um, yeah, so I have neither the books nor the software these classes require. Not to mention I’m sure to be twice as old and twice as fat at most of my classmates. Not that that it’s a major concern, but it’s just one more thing to make me feel alienated. I don’t know where to park, or where my classes are, and in general I just feel like a HUGE GOOBER.

I’m sooo tempted just to drop out and get my money back, and try again in the Spring. But my husband says I need to just suit up and show up, and I’ll figure out what’s going on soon enough. Ever have those dreams where you show up to school naked? Yeah I feel just like that. And you can be sure that tomorrow before I leave the house? I’m double checking to make sure I’ve got pants on.

My family and I are on vacation in LA this week. There’s a lot of data about how much Americans work during vacation, and the subsequent extrapolation about what those statistics mean for Americans and their relationship to work and leisure. Usually the conclusions are that we work too much, and have an inordinate amount of guilt and stress about both working, and relaxing. Why?

1. We fear things will fall apart at the office without us
2. We fear things will go smoothly at the office, and people will realize we’re not indispensable
3. We feel guilty and stressed because we want to work, when we know we should be relaxing
4. We feel guilty and stressed because we want to relax, when we know we should be working

Like being a working mother, it seems no matter which side you’re on, you lose. But I don’t think it has to be like that.

Look at 1 and 2, if you work for a company with more than 10 people in it, that’s a pretty self-centered outlook. Anyone taking a vacation has (hopefully) paved the way for their co-workers to succeed by going over the work that needs to be done, and contacting clients to give them a heads up. It’s unlikely that one person is so crucial to a project, that everything at the office is going to fall apart while they’re gone, and that’s a good thing. The weight of that kind of responsibility is the stuff ulcers are made of. (Yes, I just ended a sentence with a preposition. Sorry Mrs. Watts.) It’s true that if things go smoothly while you’re gone, it means you’re not indispensable, but no one is, and I can pretty much guarantee your coworkers don’t view you in that light, so you weren’t really fooling anyone to begin with. But it’s not necessary to be indispensable to be a valued employee. If a person is good at their job, is a hard worker, and enthusiastic about what they do, they will be missed.

If you’re a freelancer, or you’re working for yourself in some other capacity, of course it’s harder to leave work behind, but by scheduling vacation time between big projects hopefully you can lighten your vacation workload. Notifying clients ahead of time and establishing specific working hours while you’re on vacation also helps.

So am I advocating tossing your Blackberry over your shoulder as you skip down the garden path, and cartoon robins alight on your shoulder? Hardly. I think working vacations can be beneficial. Look at points 3 and 4. It seems to me that much of the guilt and stress we feel is tied up with what we assume other people’s expectations are, not only in regard to work, but also in regard to relaxing.

According to the Families and Work Institute, it takes up to three days to relax when you go on vacation, and longer vacations (seven days or more) are associated with better psychological outcomes than shorter vacations. And of course you can’t read an article on work and vacation without the author touting the Europeans, and what loooong vacations they take. And to that data, I say a big, “So what?” Information like this is analogous to the 80 million books written each year on how to get your kid to sleep through the night. The same way that every kid is different and requires a different amount of sleep, so every person is different and has different leisure requirements. I know women whose lives are a blur, a whirlwind of activity, even their leisure time is often filled with work, and most of them seem pretty happy to me. Could those women benefit from slowing down? I dunno, you’d have to ask them. I’m not cut from that cloth; I’m not happy if I’m always on the go, so I couldn’t say. The point I’m trying to make is, why should some heretofore unknown institution with a pocket-full of grant money dictate how much vacation time we need, or whether we need to leave the laptop behind when we go to the beach?

Let’s face it, thanks to modern technology, our work lives and our personal lives criss-cross over each other like a map of the LA freeways. This can be beneficial or disastrous, depending on how we manage it. As with all things business, I think the best way to handle it is to be very specific in detailing the expectations of all parties involved. What precisely, does your boss want you to accomplish while your away? How often do your boss, coworkers, and clients expect you to check in? How many hours will your family/friends let you work before they want to bean you with the nearest Tiki torch? And last but not least, what do YOU need? How much work can you do on vacation and still relax? How often do you want to check in with the office? Maybe it would be more stressful for you not to know what was going on while you were away. Maybe you need to completely unplug. Be honest with yourself regarding what you really need, because there’s not much point in going on vacation unless you’ll return to the office somewhat refreshed.

No doubt it’s a tough task to satisfy so many people, who are bound to have conflicting expectations. Prioritizing who are the most important people to please may help you decide who’s favored in the compromise, and of course that will depend on the circumstances of your work and home life at the time you take your vacation. Once you’ve mapped out exactly how you’re going to incorporate work into your vacation (or not), hopefully it will give you some clarity, and allow you to be present for whatever you’re doing, instead of pulled in a million different directions. In any case, I lift my margarita glass to you: here’s hoping your next vacation is wonderful, even if you’re working.

When I’m consulting with a client, there are standard questions I ask, and routine information I supply. I enjoy these exchanges. I like finding out precisely what my client wants, and letting them know what my process is. But. There are certain phrases I dread. These phrases consist of words. Words I have to form with my mouth. These phrases make my tongue swell to 3 times its size; they make the roof of my mouth feel like it’s coated with wallpaper paste.

1. “Hannya fubllt grrlbt” Translation: “My hourly rate is $XX.” My knees get weak. My stomach does flip-flops. I want to blurt something– anything, just to divert the client’s attention from the dollar figure I just quoted. “My hourly rate is $XX. WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE I RAN NAKED THROUGH THE QUAD IN JANUARY.” Yet somehow, I manage to pull it off with aplomb. (Okay, I might have to clear my throat a little to keep my voice from quavering; I like to quote my rate via email, if possible)

Look, I did my homework; I know what graphic designers charge, and I know how much money I need to make a living. I know what the hourly rate is in my particular geographic location, and what designers charge for certain kinds of work. My fee is perfectly reasonable. In fact, I’m the only person who thinks I’ve got some nerve charging people such outrageous prices.

2. “Mmmr fft brabbl” Translation: “Wow, I’d love to help you out, but I don’t currently offer that service.” When I’m talking with a client, I want to say yes to everything. Yes, I can have the job done tomorrow! Yes, I can redo that design for the 4^th time, and add dancing bananas! Yes I will pick up your dry cleaning!

I’m good at going the “extra mile.” I’m great at listening to a client’s wants and needs. I’m even pretty good at doing stuff I don’t know how to do. But there are certain things that I can’t do—yet, and can’t fudge, like JavaScript, and I don’t want to spend a lot of un-billable hours climbing a steep learning curve. I recognize there are gaps in my skills, and I am taking classes to rectify those, but for now, I have to admit some things are beyond my level of expertise. I don’t do my clients or myself any favors by pretending to be something I’m not.

What do you hate to tell a client/coworker/boss?