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I'm really tempted to take the puppies. (Edited)
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Should we stay or should we go?
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Aaron, my husband is looking for a new job. He has a few offers on the table right now, one of which is in our town, and the others are out of state. Changing jobs is hard, even though it’s not my job!
Aaron is a hardware-design engineer, and there’s not a lot of that type of industry in our area. In Aaron’s line of work, people don’t generally stay with a company more than 8 years, unless they’re planning on staying until retirement. I really don’t want to move, but it’s almost inevitable that we’re going to have to, it’s just a matter of when.
Financially we’re probably better off to stay here, if he can wrangle a commensurate salary. The out of state jobs include a moving allowance in their offer, but we’d have a second mortgage, deposits for a rental, the expenses of moving after we buy a home, and all those other costs I tend to forget about until my VISA bill is staring me in the face.
Plus we’ve only been here 3 years, in some ways I feel like I’m just getting settled. There is a certain kind of currency earned when you’re a part of a community. You have a reliable mechanic, doctors you know and like, you know your way around town, you have people you can call up for dinner, or trade baby sitting with. All that is worth a lot. Imagine “a lot” in 40pt red letters.
The advantage of moving is that the companies are larger, and more stable than the in-state offers. There’s more opportunity for growth, and a lot more industry in the area, so hopefully we could settle for good someplace. One major concern we have is the kids. Is it better to pull them out of an amazing neighborhood, with tons of kids, so our eldest child doesn’t have to make a move during middle school?
It’s so difficult to know what’s the best choice for our family’s future. How do you make decisions that effect your family?
October 4th, 2007 at 9:16 am
Middle school is what, grades 7 & 8? Or is that junior high where you are?
Children resist moves in keeping with their characters. My youngest LOVES to move. Even now, at 14 (and LOVING school), she keeps badgering me about a possible move to the west coast that is in the air — kindasort, and not for another three years or so. I know, she’s an extreme, but the point is, kids respond differently.
Typically, the worst time to shift them is once they get to their teens. Up to the age of 11 or 12, they’re much more flexible. And even teens have moved and lived to tell the tale! (Though they may argue the point…)
How will YOUR job weather a move? Is it almost entirely in the ether, so your geographical location doesn’t matter much, or will your fledgling business take a hit, too? (Frankly, loving mother though I may be, this would probably be my larger concern. But then, my kids are older and much closer to “independent”.)
October 4th, 2007 at 10:10 am
Actually, my business would probably benefit from the move. More professional organizations, and real-life clients in a big city.
October 4th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Me and my family just moved from the Twin Cities to small town Iowa (Webb, IA to be exact…population 167).
I think there are several reasons that make transplanting a family a good idea–Your age, kids and their ages, cost of living, ability to find work, family and friends.
We are only in our 30’s and not tied down to living in the big city. All of our kids are under the age of five. I have family that lives 40 minutes away from here. Cost of living is WAY LOWER in small town Iowa. A house in the Twin Cites would cost $250,000. Down here the same thing can be purchased for $50,000, maybe less.
We did alot of research about the job market in Iowa and found out there is a great demand for welders ( my hubby is one of the great ones) and i am working on becoming a freelancer/stay-at-home mom so all I need right now is an internet connection. For us, it was a no-brainer. But I think it differs for everyone. I guess I think it is probably easier the earlier in you and your familie’s lives it is done.
October 4th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
We moved a lot, and I thought it was GREAT for us, even though it was always hard to leave a place that we had come to know and love. But it was my paren’ts attitude that new places were an adventure and an opportunity and that home was where the FAMILY was that made all the difference.
October 5th, 2007 at 12:59 am
Sheryl, as you’ve probably read on the WIM Blog, we just moved recently from NYC to Boston. Our primary reasons for moving were to reduce the cost of living, find a great school district, and be closer to family. It was a really tough decision and we struggled with it for over a year. We’re 4 months into the move and it’s still a total shock to the system, but we’re adjusting.
I don’t have any great insights, it’s a really tough decision. But one thing I’m starting to realize is that while I worried about things I’d be leaving - great doctors, great place to live, area, friends, etc - I didn’t know about things we’d GAIN here - new friends, also good doctors (some better), better place to live. It’s tough to look forward to something that you don’t know about and compare it to something you already have.
October 6th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I personally think that change is great. I think you grow as a person and as a family when you live in different parts of the county. I’d love to live in Europe for some period of time - I think I would gain a lot from that experience. The only thing that i really dislike - is packing and unpacking!
October 8th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
[...] And welcome back to Let’s Choose A Job, the game show that’s sweeping the nation! I’m your host Monty Hall, and here are the [...]
October 9th, 2007 at 1:31 am
Wow, this is SO HARD. I really don’t envy you this decision. I want to say that middle school is hard, no matter what - I went to a new school when I was in 7th grade and stayed there until 8th grade - and then we moved back to Mississippi so I could start and finish high school in one place.
It is always hard to leave a place you love. But there are so many places to love in this world…