Comments on: I think you are an idiot. http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/ From surviving to thriving in the corporate world. Wed, 08 Oct 2008 03:05:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: tina4545 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-236 tina4545 Thu, 28 Feb 2008 18:48:02 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-236 Yes I have come up and done it myself and I get so mad with myself when I do. I am not a stupid person or do I think I am idiot but people put me on the defensive sometimes by their reactions when I announce something or want to express an idea. We are not idiots people we are highly intelligent women and our opinions and ideas are just as good as those other people out there we have to work and live with. Speak up and don't be afraid to express yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes I have come up and done it myself and I get so mad with myself when I do. I am not a stupid person or do I think I am idiot but people put me on the defensive sometimes by their reactions when I announce something or want to express an idea. We are not idiots people we are highly intelligent women and our opinions and ideas are just as good as those other people out there we have to work and live with. Speak up and don’t be afraid to express yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> By: BevyJo http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-222 BevyJo Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:44:56 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-222 I learned to put myself down at a young age. As both the "smart girl" and the "fat girl" in my class, I was picked on a lot in school. Particularly after we moved to a new town, where the kids hadn't known me my entire life. I used to make the fat jokes first just to beat them to the punch. I have found myself doing the same types of things in my adult life, all the while telling my 3 beautiful girls to stand tall and proud, and berating them for saying they were fat and unattractive (They aren't!) Until the day they called me on it! They said "Mom, quit talking about yourself like that. You keep telling us not to do it!" Still fighting the "I suck at math" battle with my youngest girl. She's in 5th grade and in math hell. A place I know well. (Ha! I'm a poet!) I told her it was o.k. to say she didn't like math, but I did not want to hear her saying she sucked, or stunk, or any such thing. I've learned not to apologize for my intelligence, though. Since my divorce I've become - though some said it was impossible - even more stubborn about defending my thoughts and beliefs. Just ask my new hubby, who is convinced I am never going to admit to being wrong. I told him I would, as soon as I was wrong about something (seriously, I'm not being arrogant, he is just so off on some things it's unbelieveable) but I will NEVER say I'm wrong when I'm not just to make him feel better. Thanks KathyHowe for a great blog. This is my first visit to the site and I'll be coming back often. I learned to put myself down at a young age. As both the “smart girl” and the “fat girl” in my class, I was picked on a lot in school. Particularly after we moved to a new town, where the kids hadn’t known me my entire life. I used to make the fat jokes first just to beat them to the punch.

I have found myself doing the same types of things in my adult life, all the while telling my 3 beautiful girls to stand tall and proud, and berating them for saying they were fat and unattractive (They aren’t!) Until the day they called me on it!

They said “Mom, quit talking about yourself like that. You keep telling us not to do it!”

Still fighting the “I suck at math” battle with my youngest girl. She’s in 5th grade and in math hell. A place I know well. (Ha! I’m a poet!) I told her it was o.k. to say she didn’t like math, but I did not want to hear her saying she sucked, or stunk, or any such thing.

I’ve learned not to apologize for my intelligence, though. Since my divorce I’ve become - though some said it was impossible - even more stubborn about defending my thoughts and beliefs. Just ask my new hubby, who is convinced I am never going to admit to being wrong. I told him I would, as soon as I was wrong about something (seriously, I’m not being arrogant, he is just so off on some things it’s unbelieveable) but I will NEVER say I’m wrong when I’m not just to make him feel better.

Thanks KathyHowe for a great blog. This is my first visit to the site and I’ll be coming back often.

]]> By: Mandy http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-214 Mandy Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:23:52 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-214 Um, guess that I did last night. I'm all red in the face about this but had to share it. I looked at dh and said (this really came out of my mouth), "Wanna know what an idiot I am?" Of course he said I wasn't an idiot and went on to tell me I was sexy but I wasn't listening b/c I was thinking, "MaryP would have given me the glare and KathyHowe would add me to her IDIOT list." I could feel the glare from here (over your glass of wine of course, MaryP, b/c that's the only picture I've ever seen of you!). Um, guess that I did last night. I’m all red in the face about this but had to share it. I looked at dh and said (this really came out of my mouth), “Wanna know what an idiot I am?” Of course he said I wasn’t an idiot and went on to tell me I was sexy but I wasn’t listening b/c I was thinking, “MaryP would have given me the glare and KathyHowe would add me to her IDIOT list.” I could feel the glare from here (over your glass of wine of course, MaryP, b/c that’s the only picture I’ve ever seen of you!).

]]> By: KathyHowe http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-212 KathyHowe Fri, 01 Feb 2008 15:21:46 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-212 I love it when I post something and learn something new via the comments!! It never occurred to me that I should be mindful of how my kids (and other youth around me) talk about themselves! This self-depreciating talk doesn't start in adulthood. It most likely starts in the teen years. I have learned something new this week. Thanks to all of you for your great comments!! I love it when I post something and learn something new via the comments!! It never occurred to me that I should be mindful of how my kids (and other youth around me) talk about themselves! This self-depreciating talk doesn’t start in adulthood. It most likely starts in the teen years. I have learned something new this week. Thanks to all of you for your great comments!!

]]> By: Alison http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-211 Alison Fri, 01 Feb 2008 13:52:55 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-211 Had a training session with our corporate lawyeryesterday. He started with "I'm sorry this presentation is going to be bad." What? Not sure how he even got the job as a corporate lawyer. Had a training session with our corporate lawyeryesterday. He started with “I’m sorry this presentation is going to be bad.” What? Not sure how he even got the job as a corporate lawyer.

]]> By: Daisy http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-210 Daisy Fri, 01 Feb 2008 02:20:52 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-210 I've learned to stand tall; even when my students are taller than I am (and when i taught 6th grade, they were!) I feel like the tallest in the room because my authority is the highest. I don't like it when they put themselves down, either; this article reminds me that I need to be firm in not allowing self put-downs. I’ve learned to stand tall; even when my students are taller than I am (and when i taught 6th grade, they were!) I feel like the tallest in the room because my authority is the highest. I don’t like it when they put themselves down, either; this article reminds me that I need to be firm in not allowing self put-downs.

]]> By: Kate http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-209 Kate Thu, 31 Jan 2008 14:26:16 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-209 MANDY! so funny you say that because when i see people shuffling along it reminds me to stand up straighter and hold my head higher! even if i AM just walking to the bathroom! people think you are 'important' when you ACT important! MANDY! so funny you say that because when i see people shuffling along it reminds me to stand up straighter and hold my head higher! even if i AM just walking to the bathroom! people think you are ‘important’ when you ACT important!

]]> By: Mandy http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-208 Mandy Thu, 31 Jan 2008 13:46:53 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-208 Does this also apply to people who shuffle their feet through the office with their shoulders hunched and their heads down? Pick up your feet, lift your chin, throw those shoulders back and act with purpose. Even if you're just going to pee. You DO mean to pee confidently, don't you? Then walk there like you mean it already. You might think I'm stoopid but I love you KathyHowe for speaking your mind ;). I think I'm going to lengthen the legs on that little pedestal I've had you on. You deserve it. I'm no idiot for know knowing that! Does this also apply to people who shuffle their feet through the office with their shoulders hunched and their heads down? Pick up your feet, lift your chin, throw those shoulders back and act with purpose. Even if you’re just going to pee. You DO mean to pee confidently, don’t you? Then walk there like you mean it already.

You might think I’m stoopid but I love you KathyHowe for speaking your mind ;). I think I’m going to lengthen the legs on that little pedestal I’ve had you on. You deserve it. I’m no idiot for know knowing that!

]]> By: Florinda http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-207 Florinda Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:25:33 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-207 I'm sorry, but I'm one of the "I'm sorry" people, like Kate. :-) I blame it on my guilt-inducing Catholic upbringing and my years living in the South. It's kind of like Kate said - when I was younger, I'd put myself down a lot. Not necessarily to make other people feel better, but because it hurt less if I beat them to it. Or so I thought. It's a HARD habit to un-learn. MaryP, you have indeed done Allison a great favor. But Kathy, you are quite right - prefacing your ideas with this sort of disclaimer does indeed work against you. And I definitely don't want you - or anyone else - to think I'm an idiot until AFTER I've actually told you what I'm thinking! :-) I’m sorry, but I’m one of the “I’m sorry” people, like Kate. :-) I blame it on my guilt-inducing Catholic upbringing and my years living in the South.

It’s kind of like Kate said - when I was younger, I’d put myself down a lot. Not necessarily to make other people feel better, but because it hurt less if I beat them to it. Or so I thought. It’s a HARD habit to un-learn. MaryP, you have indeed done Allison a great favor.

But Kathy, you are quite right - prefacing your ideas with this sort of disclaimer does indeed work against you. And I definitely don’t want you - or anyone else - to think I’m an idiot until AFTER I’ve actually told you what I’m thinking! :-)

]]> By: Kate http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-206 Kate Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:55:55 +0000 http://workitmom.com/bloggers/whostolemystapler/2008/01/29/i-think-you-are-an-idiot/#comment-206 i agree!! i also think some of it is a bad habit we get into when we are younger and just trying to not insult people so instead think that some how putting ourselves down makes other people feel better. (weird, how do we come up with these things??) Mary P i think what you are doing for your daughter's friend is PRICELESS! you are breaking that cycle early and it will help her whole life! tiff- i am occasionally guilty of the 'i'm sorry' but mostly out of habit. i was actually in a store once and moved out of someone's way and said 'im sorry!' and the woman just looked at me (like how i imagine Mary P looked at alison!) and said "don't be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry about" and moved on. that one incident made a HUGE impression and i am much more of an effort to say 'excuse me' instead!! i agree!! i also think some of it is a bad habit we get into when we are younger and just trying to not insult people so instead think that some how putting ourselves down makes other people feel better. (weird, how do we come up with these things??)

Mary P i think what you are doing for your daughter’s friend is PRICELESS! you are breaking that cycle early and it will help her whole life!

tiff- i am occasionally guilty of the ‘i’m sorry’ but mostly out of habit. i was actually in a store once and moved out of someone’s way and said ‘im sorry!’ and the woman just looked at me (like how i imagine Mary P looked at alison!) and said “don’t be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry about” and moved on. that one incident made a HUGE impression and i am much more of an effort to say ‘excuse me’ instead!!

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