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(Cathie) Black Magic
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The bitch is in.
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I think you are an idiot.
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It's finally Friday. I'm free again.
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Every woman can justify the over-sized bags she carries with her every day. She needs her credit cards (sales!), she needs her lip gloss, her lipstick and her lip liner. She needs a translucent powder for midday touch-ups, and medical and dental cards (just in case).
She needs her wallet for holding latte money, change for the parking meter and her drivers license (just. in. case). She needs a pen or two or three - usually in varied colors. She needs a small package of tissues (runny nose season), wet hand wipes (KIDS!), a pad of paper and/or a journal. She needs space for her cell phone when it isn’t glued to her ear, spare earrings in case she loses one that should be glued to her ear and something to tie back her hair so you can see things dangle from her ear.
She needs a tweezers, nail clipper and at least one nail file. She needs unmentionables, a list of things to mention at an upcoming meeting and a pack of gum so as to avoid offending meeting participants.
She needs something to make her stink pretty (mmm…perfume), check her pretty (mirror, mirror) and fix her pretty (oil blotters anyone?).
Women, for as organized as they are, seem to consistently forget to have one very important accessory with them
EVERY
WHERE
THEY
GO.
Last week I received my first hate comment here on Who Stole My Stapler. After searching the internet for the “name” of the person that left the comment, I very quickly determined that this asshole makes a hobby out of leaving asshole comments that have little to nothing to do with the actual post.
So I deleted his comment.
I find it mildly disappointing that I can’t hit a delete key to magically erase other assholes from my life. Not that there are really all that many because I think I have really brushed up my skills in the department of detecting and ditching asshole types from my life. But sometimes you just cannot escape being in their presence. Sadly, assholes are everywhere. From the internet to our neighborhoods and even *gasp* our workplaces.
So what’s a girl to do when she wants an asshole-free existence? Who Stole My Stapler now presents….
Today I learned about a condition that seems to be afflicting my son called Testosterone Poisoning. It is the best explanation I can come up with besides the fact that we have had a completely effed up week and he is beyond tired because of it.
Because I have been so absorbed with my very emotional boy child this week I am mentally (and physically) quite drained which means I have exactly BUPKIS to offer you.
In the spirit of providing you something new and interesting to cast your eyes upon I now present to you…
::drumroll::
Anyone that reads this blog or my personal blog Kazoofus probably knows that my pet peeves change with dang near every breath I take. Just browse through the Who Stole My Stapler archives for proof of some of my workplace and career pet peeves.
I just read an article on Women’s Health Magazine that reminded me of something that I have a hard time comprehending:
Last week my Grandma took an unplanned trip. Not one of those fancy ones either where someone serves you drinks with umbrellas. This was the trip and fall kind of trip. The kind that some people bounce back up from with relative ease. In Grandma’s case, this particular trip netted her a trip to the hospital, a broken femur, shoulder and hip and surgery to install rods and pins on all three broken bones.
If you are gonna take the time to fall you might as well give it yer all.
Grandma is still in the hospital and the most unfortunate thing about her very long hospital stay is the fact that she is two plus hours away from me, my siblings and my mother. This makes getting to the hospital to spend time with grandma, talk to doctors and coordinate her after-care incredibly challenging when we all have our own home and work responsibilities to tend to.
Put on your protective head gear, goggles and ear plugs because Kathy Howe is about to rant. Before I do I should add this disclaimer: what I am going to write about has happened in both my personal and professional lives over the years. This isn’t something that only happens in corporate environments but let me tell you this: if you see yourself in this post:
I think you are an idiot.
It is probably true for most people that all work and no play makes for one dreary existence. I am an extreme advocate of work/life balance for everyone. This is as important for people without children as it is for people with children. What I’m not prone to state, however, is what YOUR work/life balance should look like.
Not that long ago (*coughs* a month ago *coughs*) a new Work It, Mom friend (wave hello, Kate!) pointed me towards an interesting article by Steve Pavlina.
I have been an off and on reader of Steve’s for just about a year now. I like much of what he has to say but unfortunately, Steve is VERBOSE. Really, really verbose. And me? I have the attention span of a gnat. You could write PURE! GENIUS! CONTENT! and while I would appreciate its first paragraph or so, I’d most likely find myself skimming through the bulk of the content.
I, my friends, am a fan of the bulleted list.
That said, this article that Kate pointed me towards, well, I confess that I read it in full.
*mostly*
The article is on the subject of self-employment. So many people feel like that is a path that they simply could not go down. Perhaps the discipline required would be too great or maybe it is the risk of not being financially rewarded for your work. Whatever the reason, a great many people feel like they could absolutely positively never pursue being self-employed.
Well guess what?
I am finally back to work after a long slow recovery from surgery. I was out of the office for six weeks and during that leave I had some time to browse the internets. One of my world wide hangouts is Work It, Mom of course.
Recently I asked a question in a Work It, Mom forum trying to uncover how women view their career and what they feel holds them back from achieving career success. The results were not entirely shocking to me. It was noted by one mother that she feels raising her children is her top priority at this point. A list of mothers noted something that I have heard from women before.
::::drumroll::::
Ten reasons why working in the corporate world is great:
- There are all kinds of people to blame when your stuff goes to hell.
- Corporate politics can at times make having Bush in office seem like no big deal.
- CEO’s have finally realized blogging is cool and are using it as a corporate communications tool. Just wait until the year 2020 when they find out about Flickr!
- Having co-workers means there is always someone around to cut the stray string off your sleeve for you. No need to strip nekkid during meetings to do it yourself.
- Birthday treats can happen darn near every week if you work on a large enough team.
- At some point in your career a vendor will try to win your love with tickets to great seats at sporting events. Do yourself a favor and play hard to get at least through the playoffs.
- There are people to pick up the slack for you when you need to leave work for a few weeks to get your cervix razored out.
- You get to introduce yourself to a new boss every 3 - 6 months. Oh the joy of tooting your own horn with such regularity.
- Free coffee!! And sugar!!
- So many people to prank. So little time.
What are some things YOU like about working in a corporate environment?