At the beginning of this series, I asked what you all wear to work at home. Selene had this to say:

I’ve been thinking I need a change. I want to step my going out wardrobe up a notch… I’m feeling the need to feel “prettier” than just my standard same-ole jeans and t-shirt type of thing. I actually had my first hair cut in months yesterday (YIKES!) and am feeling good! I’ve been putting myself second for so long (probably since I had my daughter 2 years ago and she became #1, LOL)

I get up so early in the morning though (4am) that I can’t see getting up even earlier (3:30am) to shower and look nice just to pad on over to the office 20 feet away.

BUT, it would be nice to maybe use my current “out” wardrobe (jeans) at home, and get something nicer for when we go out.

I think we all know what Selene is talking about; at some point, we’ve been so focused on our kids that we have lost sight of ourselves; we stop getting haircuts (I once went almost an ENTIRE YEAR without a cut), we stop buying clothes, we stop getting dressed for anything that’s not a special occasion. It’s inevitable, I think, but it’s not necessarily desirable. And it’s easy to change.

Jeans are a fine wardrobing piece for a day at home, whether you’re working for pay or working for love. What you put on TOP of the jeans, though, can make a huge difference in both your look and your attitude. The key is to find tops that are more stylish than a basic tee but are ALSO machine washable AND affordable.

Thank god for Old Navy.
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In the comments on the first post in this series, quite a few of you said that when you are working at home, you still try to look nice, because there is always a chance that you will see people during your work-at-home day. I was impressed by how many of you said, “Of course I get dressed — I have to take my child to school, after all!” Because frankly, carpool moms are frequently the WORST fashion offenders.

Before we get to what you SHOULD be wearing during your WAHM day, let’s run down the list of things you should NOT be wearing:

Sweatpants with elastic at the ankles. Get some yoga pants instead.

Spirit tees. You know the ones, with the school’s name and mascot on them. Buy one for your kid, but not for you. If your child is involved in some kind of extracurricular activity that REQUIRES you to wear the spirit tee, save it for those specific events. And even then, think twice about it.

Battered tennis shoes. Honestly, put some real shoes on. It won’t kill you.

So what is the alternative? Let’s start with pants, shall we?

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One of the hardest parts of working from home is balancing the working part and the home part. And — let’s face it — it’s the home part that makes it hard. During a normal work-at-home day, we not only do the work that pays the bills, we also clean and cook and sort laundry and hug sticky children. And we sit on the floor an awful lot, and sometimes even venture outside.

That is a lot to get dressed for.

Most of the time, moms default to dressing for the messiest possible kid thing. I see moms all the time who look like they are ready to fingerpaint with a hyperactive toddler — they are wearing worn out sweatpants and stained tee shirts, as though they are just waiting to have something disgusting wiped on them. And while motherhood is often about the wiping of the disgusting substances, you don’t have to turn yourself into a walking Kleenex. In fact, I wish you wouldn’t.
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There are a lot of great perks to working from home; this morning, I am counting among them easy access to the leftover Boston Cream Pie my mother-in-law made this weekend. But unlike an office, which often has specific rules about what is and is not appropriate work attire, the home office has no rules. That sounds so great, doesn’t it, until you’re putting on your yoga pants for the umpteenth day in a row and feeling less like a contributing member of society and more like a housekeeper with a laptop.

Working at home is a truly remarkable opportunity, one that most of our mothers didn’t have. Being a WAHM gives you the best of both worlds, and while I would never go so far as to say that working at home is EASIER than going to an office, it certainly has its advantages, like the flexibility to manage sick kids and household chores, and the option to NEVER EVER WEAR PANTY HOSE AGAIN. Thank god.

But once you strip away the panty hose and suits, and add in the housework and kids, what exactly DO you wear to work at home? And how do you keep from falling into the I-don’t-really-need-nice-things trap that seems to come with the virtual office?

Let’s start with this: what do YOU wear when you are working at home? Are you happy with your current work-at-home wardrobe? Why or why not?

On Friday, we’ll talk about what to wear to the virtual office. Hint: there won’t be ANY pantyhose on this list.

There are a very few things that every woman really needs in her closet: mid-rise, dark wash jeans, a white shirt, a basic black dress, and a cashmere sweater. If you ONLY had those four pieces, you could go pretty much anywhere.

The part that always makes people nervous is the cashmere sweater. Let’s dispel some myths about cashmere.

Cashmere is expensive.
Yes and no. You’re not going to find a great cashmere sweater for $19.99. Cheap cashmere is just that — cheap; it won’t wear well, and it is often itchy. Good cashmere doesn’t itch — it is soft and silky and delightful to wear. But having a good cashmere sweater doesn’t mean spending a fortune. There are lots of places that carry beautiful, classic cashmere sweaters for around $100. My favorites are J. Crew (watch the end-of-season sales), Lands’ End, and Garnet Hill.

Cashmere has to be dry cleaned.
No. No no NO. Do NOT dry clean cashmere, ever. Hand wash in cold water and baby shampoo. The chemicals in dry cleaning fluid will cause the fibers in your cashmere sweater to become dry and brittle, which reduces both the silky softness and the life of the garment. Don’t EVER dry clean cashmere.

Cashmere is impractical.
A beautiful cashmere sweater — a basic cardigan, say, or crew or V neck pullover — goes with everything. Wear it with a skirt or wool trousers for work, or with jeans or yoga pants on the weekend. Choose a flattering cut and a color you love and a classic silhouette and make the cashmere sweater work for you. Lightweight cashmere can be layered in the dead of winter and tossed over a tank for all but the hottest days.

I hear from lots of moms who say, “When my kids are older, I’ll think about it, but right now I’m a walking Kleenex and it’s not worth it.” You would be surprised at the things you can wash out of cashmere. Blood, dirt, fish sticks that someone gagged on at dinner and threw up all over you — not that I have ever had to wash any of those things out of a cashmere sweater (okay, yes I have). Once upon a time, people wore cashmere sweaters for warmth, not for fashion, and the heartiness of the knit was part of what made them such great layering pieces. Wear the sweater, and then wash it after playgroup.

The bottom line is this: when you have great pieces in your closet — well made, beautiful, practical pieces — you can easily look pulled together, even on the days when you are scrambling to get out of the house. Toss a cashmere cardigan over a pair of jeans and a white tee and suddenly you look more professional, more reliable, more chic. A cashmere sweater is an investment; you will be able to wear it for years, to all sorts of venues and functions.

It’s okay to spend money on classic pieces, like a cashmere sweater. In fact, in the long run, it’s a good choice, because you will have that piece forever. And wouldn’t it be nice to know that you have one really practical, incredibly beautiful thing in your closet, something that you can and will wear all the time?

Yes it would.

Charlene wants to know about what to wear on a business trip:

I do at least one business trip a year and I always struggle with what to take and how not to take too much stuff. The company I work for is very casual so I like to look professional but maintain the casual feel. Also, keep in mind with what I do I have to wear a closed toe shoe at all times.

There are three simple strategies for packing, no matter where you are going.

Pack only things that you REALLY wear. A business trip is not the time to test out a new skirt or jacket; you want clothes that you will be comfortable and confident in.

Pack basic pieces. Think both in terms of shape and color; neutral pieces in classic shapes are your best bet (black pencil skirt, brown wool trousers).

Pack pieces that work together. Choose one color palette for your trip, to guarantee that the things you pack will do multiple duty. Neutral basics plus a pop of color, in a blouse or sweater, keep your look fresh and flexible.

MICHAEL Michael Kors trench coat, Nordstrom, $128.00

So what actually goes in the suitcase?
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I’ve been growing my hair out, sort of, because it seemed like a good idea, you know since everyone else has long hair. But I’m really hating it and missing my cool Rosemary’s Baby cut. Nothing says hip like horror film hair.

I’m not the only one obsessed with hair lately; I’ve been reading what seems like an endless stream of blog posts by women who are unhappy with their current hair. And they’re all asking the Internet what to do: grow or cut?

I have a point here, I promise, and it’s not about hair.

In every one of these threads, at some point, there is someone who says, Oh I love the idea of short hair, but …

… you have to get it cut all the time.

… you have to wear more makeup.

… you can’t ever change the style.

Inevitably, the commenter says That’s why I’ve never had short hair, or That ONE time when my hair was short, like to my chin …

And I find myself thinking, well then you really don’t have any idea what you’re talking about, do you?
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Not all bodies are created equal — some girls, for example, get the curves, while some girls don’t. And of course, as with all things about our bodies, we typically pine for what we don’t have (curly haired girls want straight hair, and vice versa) instead of working with — and appreciating — what we have.

Fashion media focuses on skinny girls — the models, even for plus-sized clothing, are wee little things without hips or breasts. But most women are not twee stick figures; real women come fully equipped with breasts and hips and thighs, and translating fashion trends from one extreme to the other can be tricky. The secret is not to start with the trends, but with your own shape. Rather than trying to smash your curvy self into skinny jeans and a tank top, learn to make fashion choices that make the most of what you have.

Today: Five basic tips for dressing your curvy best.

Photo courtesy of Lane Bryant
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