I love e-mail. This week, I had a great e-mail from Amy:

I recently found out I’m pregnant with my second child and upon hauling out all my maternity clothes, I realized how long it’s been - stylewise - since I had my daughter three years ago.

I also realized how cheap most maternity clothes are. Many of the items were pilled and/or have shrunk to the point of not fitting, even now when I am at about 10.5 weeks.

Another issue is that I am showing already a little, with my regular clothes being tight already. I have invested in some great belly bands from Blush, but often you can see the button on my jeans through the band.

I stay home now, working as a writer, but I still want to look put together. Dressing well, if casually, helps me feel professional when I am writing or conducting interviews.

Might you be willing to advise on these issues? Such as where to get good quality maternity staples, etc? Also, might you be willing to ask your readers at Friday Style if they would participate in The Maternity Closet? I would be thrilled to kick it off!

Congratulations, Amy! Babies are the best.

Because Amy is not going to work in an office, she doesn’t need to worry about finding suits, but she DOES want to invest in a few basic pieces that will both get her through her pregnancy and keep her looking great as she — and the baby — grow.
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I am nearly three months postpartum (my first) and I’m wondering when and if I will ever get my old body back (or even close to my old body). Is it unreasonable to think that my pre-pregnancy clothes WILL fit sometime in the near future? Or should I be building a new wardrobe?

Gradually, I have been able to wear some items, especially pants, from my old wardrobe. However, the major problem I’m having is finding shirts that fit. With extra belly and an ample bosom (plus nursing bras that are not as supportive as I would normally wear if I were not nursing) it’s very hard to find flattering shirts that aren’t too tight and too short or too blousy and too frumpy. Almost every shirt from pre-pregnancy is too short. I don’t need any extra volume around the waist but I also don’t relish showing all my newfound lumps and bumps. Also, I don’t want to spend a lot of money if my old clothes might fit again one day (I had a lovely wardrobe pre-pregnancy!) but at the same time I am tired of the same three Old Navy shirts.

Help!! I am looking for mom sense as well as fashion sense. I don’t know how to shop for this new body.

Gratefully,
Amanda

Let’s deal with the big issue first: the post-baby body. No matter how much or how little weight you gained during your pregnancy, your body is NOT the same after the baby. For some window of time — three months, six months, a year (or in my case, TWO years) your body is STILL not the same. And at the end of that window, the lumps and bumps and gigantic breasts are gone, but the body is probably not the one you started with before the baby.

I’m sorry to say that, but it is entirely true.
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I’m a big believer in street chic, or in turning to other women when I’m looking for fashion inspiration, particularly if what I’m hoping to find is some balance of style and function. So I was thrilled this week when so many of you put in your two cents about what to wear after you give birth. Your suggestions were fantastic.

Tops
For casual wear, stick with soft comfy tees, either regular styles or nursing tees. Yasmara recommended patterned tops, which “will hide any milk leakage (and baby spit up) better than solids.” She is absolutely right. She also made a pitch for Lilypadz breast pads; whatever brand you buy, keep extras in your bag. If you’re not planning to nurse, you will still want nursing pads for the window until your milk dries up.

If you will be nursing, or pumping when you return to work, the consensus was that you choose tops that are easy to open for more convenient access to your breasts. Button front shirts are one option, although some Working Closet and Friday Style readers pointed out that if you are large breasted to begin with, your extra large nursing breasts may not fit properly in a button-front shirt. Instead, think about a wrap shirt, which will both flatter your fabulous nursing breasts and play down your post-baby tummy.

Finally, think about a nursing cami or tee under a fitted sweater or jacket. Again, easy access for baby or pump without a lot of pulling and tugging.

What if you will NOT be nursing or pumping when you return to work? Again, a wrap shirt will camouflage the last of the baby tummy, as will a fitted jacket over a cami or tee. Be SURE that the jacket fits properly, please, and that you can button it, even if you will never wear it that way. You can also look for slightly longer tunic tops in a slight A line shape; this will draw attention to your face and skim over your mid section. Look for a tunic that hits at the hipbone, for the most flattering line.

Bottoms
Again, stick with basics; you want several pairs of pants or skirts in neutral colors and flattering lines. The easiest thing is to choose pants with a slightly wider leg, which will balance your post-baby hips and tummy, in black or navy or charcoal gray, or a knee-length skirt, also in a neutral color, with a slight A line. Pair a darker bottom with a lighter colored top to draw attention up toward your face (and your totally fabulous Mommy cleavage). Be sure that pants and skirts fit properly. A couple of you said that you bought nicer pieces on sale and had them altered as you lost weight, which is a great suggestion.

Everyone agreed that you should NOT, under ANY circumstances, try your pre-baby jeans on for, well, a while. I would say honestly not for the first three months, at least, but everyone is different. Instead, get a pair of jeans that fit properly and look good on your bottom half AS IT IS RIGHT NOW. I bought my post-baby jeans at Old Navy, on sale, and wore them for quite a long time; I was actually kind of sad when they stopped fitting. Other readers recommended Levis, which have a very forgiving fit and are terrific for curvier bodies. And one savvy reader wrote to say that she bought jeans at a consignment shop, for next to nothing.

Consignment, as an aside, is a great idea for postpartum wardrobing, particularly for pieces that you need right now but might not need in three or six months. Suits, for example, or dressier skirts or pants–pieces that would cost a substantial amount if you bought new–are great things to pick up at consignment. And the jeans idea is terrific because you can buy them for next to nothing, wear them until they don’t fit, and then go back for another pair that DOES fit, all without spending the baby’s college fund.

Several of you wrote to remind me that in the first few weeks after the baby, you can get out your very early maternity pants, the ones with the expandable waist band (NOT the kind with the big “pocket” in the front) and wear those again. I agree, but I would caution you to treat this as a stop-gap measure; these are MATERNITY pants, so if you’re still wearing them for the baby’s first birthday, we need to talk.

The Core Postpartum Work Wardrobe
3-5 nursing bras, or regular bras in your new size (err on the side of MORE nursing bras because they will wind up with breast milk on them, and when that happens, you definitely need to launder)

3-5 soft cotton tees (more if you like, although you will be doing laundry ALL THE TIME in the first few weeks, trust me)
2-4 pairs yoga pants

1 pair of jeans that fit you RIGHT NOW (replace as needed)
2-3 pairs of trousers (less if you will be wearing skirts, more if you only wear trousers) in a wide width and a neutral color
2-3 skirts (less if you will also wear pants, more if you only wear skirts)

Some combination of the following, all of which can be mixed or matched:
button front shirt
wrap shirt
nursing cami or tee
fitted cardigan
fitted jacket

Finally, keep in mind that a wrap dress is incredibly flattering on a fuller figure. If you are nursing or pumping, look for a wrap made specifically for this.

Where should you shop? Go to stores you already love and look at larger sizes than you would typically wear. Think about places like Forever 21 and H&M as well; lower-end chains are a great source of trendy, temporary pieces. Where ever you shop, resist the urge to buy things extra big in the hope that they will hide how big you are; clothes that fit are always more flattering than clothes that hang, even if you’re feeling like your body is bigger than you like. Don’t get hung up on the number in the waistband. Instead, focus on fit, and only buy–and wear–what really fits well.

You can find more terrific suggestions in the comments on this post and this one, too.

I struggled a great deal when I was pregnant to find clothes that fit. However, I spent the majority of my pregnancy on bedrest so it didn’t matter much. My problem now is what to wear post-partum? My daughter is now a month old, and while I know it’s roughly 9 months on, 9 months off, I’m struggling just to find basics to get me through until my body gets back to normal. I had a c-sections and I’ve found that my shape has completely morphed; especially in the hip area. My pregnancy pants don’t fit right, and I can’t seem to find regular pants in bigger sizes that fit. Any suggestions?

Stephanie is currently in what is easily the hardest window of postpartum wardrobing, that month or three after the baby when you sort of have your body back but not really, and when you’re so tired that all you want to do is stay in your pajamas all day but you feel, at least occasionally, like you should get dressed and start acting like a person again.

Before we talk about what to wear, let’s face some facts about the post baby body.

1. You will not get right back into your pre-pregnancy clothes. The rule of thumb is nine months up, nine months down, but I never found this to be entirely true; for me, it was more like nine months up two years down. It will take as long as it takes for you to lose the weight, and even then your body may not be shaped the same way it was before your bundle of joy arrived. Do NOT beat yourself up about this, particularly for the ten or twelve weeks right after giving birth. Cut your body some slack–you just grew an entire person inside you, and if the consequence is a little extra around the middle (or, in my case, across the backside) then so be it.

2. You may NEVER get back into some of your pre-pregnancy clothes. Pregnancy changes your body, but not always in the ways you might expect. Don’t mourn your old body or insistently stuff it into pants and tops that don’t fit properly; be honest about where you have grown and how you can work what you’ve got now. Having pieces that fit comfortably and correctly is never more important than in the year or so after a new baby, when you will already be feeling like you are stretched to the limit. Don’t let your wardrobe be one more stressful thing in your life. Wear clothes that look great.

3. You will be overwhelmed by the urge to start getting rid of clothes because they don’t fit. Instead, take the things that do not fit right now out of the closet, so that you don’t spend every morning staring sadly at a whole wardrobe of things you can’t wear right now. In the first year after the baby is born, there will be a lot of pieces that just don’t fit right. Some things, of course, will never fit again, but some will, and you should resist the urge to start donating everything that doesn’t zip RIGHT NOW. Instead, put things that aren’t fitting in storage and revisit them later. Give yourself time to get used to your new body and your new life before you start donating your pre-baby wardrobe to Goodwill.

So what SHOULD you wear after the baby is born? For the six or eight weeks after the baby is born, cut yourself some slack and stick with pieces that are comfortable, like drawstring yoga pants and soft nursing tees. That first two months is a huge adjustment period for a new mother, and you should give yourself time to get used to the changes in your body and your life. When you start to shop for postpartum clothes, keep the following in mind:

1. Stick with fabrics that are machine washable. Leaking breast milk, baby spit up, diaper leakage, coffee that misses your mouth and winds up on your shirt–all are par for the course in the first few weeks. It’s easier to pretreat and wash than it is to constantly be shuffling things to the dry cleaners.

2. Choose pieces that are comfy enough to sleep in. Yoga pants, tees (nursing or regular, depending on your situation), and lightweight cotton or jersey dresses all fit the bill. DO NOT go around all day in your actual pajamas (you will feel better if you get dressed, I promise) but don’t get so buttoned up that you can’t seize every opportunity to take a nap, or just to snuggle up with your baby.

3. Wear light colors, like pink or white. Even if you’re not a pastel girl in your normal life, in the weeks after giving birth, when you are tired, pastels and lighter shades will give you a little extra pep, or at least the appearance of a little extra pep. Stick with colors you love and feel pretty in, even if it means that you’re wearing green or blue or whatever nearly all the time. When you feel good in your clothes, you will look better.

4.Change your clothes every day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Trust me–it’s remarkable the difference a clean pair of yoga pants and a clean tee shirt can make. And while you may not believe it now, the urge to just keep wearing what you’re in will be overwhelming in that first few weeks. But really, take two minutes and get some new clothes on. It’s worth the effort.

5. Don’t spend a fortune on your postpartum casual wear. Look for yoga pants and tees at Old Navy or Target; look for nursing tops at

6. Finally, DO NOT keep wearing your maternity clothes. It may SEEM like those maternity pants will still fit after you have the baby, but they really require the actual BABY to fit properly. Once you’ve given birth, your stomach will change shape and will not hold the pants (or skirt or dress) in place. Maternity tops will hang unevenly as well. The first step toward getting your pre-baby body and closet back again is to stop dressing like you’re pregnant. Launder and dry clean all the maternity wear (or better yet, enlist someone else to do it for you) and pack it all away for the next pregnancy (yours or someone else’s).

Coming Friday: The post-baby shopping guide.