My day job involves all kinds of fun customer interactions, including the occassional flare-up where I get slapped (usually virtually - by email or phone) because of late delivery or some other misstep along the way. I wouldn’t say I love my job, but for the most part it works out okay and most of my colleagues are very nice people - and I say “most” for a reason.
So of course we had a situation yesterday where the customer flipped out and called one of our senior guys who later came to talk to me, after the fire had been extinguished. He came to my desk and said, of our customer contact: “She’s a chick, so she’ll flip out once in awhile, and then she calms down.” And then he left.
Wikipedia says that “chick” is “slang for a young female.” And yes, I am guilty of using the term, even though I think it can come with a negative connotation. In this case, I think it was certainly used in a somewhat negative manner, but I didn’t see the need to educate the free-wheeling-sales-guy on his use of particular English terminology - this was part of his lexicon (and possibly his overall view of women), and in the grand scheme of things, what he said was relatively harmless.
But was I wrong not to say anything, to correct his wrong?
I have not been dwelling on this question, but I will admit that it bothered me a little, the cavalier manner he took in speaking about our customer, who is actually a friend of his.
So I thought I’d open it up - am I being all PC here in even thinking that some guy referring to women as “chicks” and essentially saying that women are more emotional or temperamental is wrong? Or is this true - are women more emotional and us guys just have to deal with that? (And more on that topic in my next post).
It’s funny, I use the word “chick” specifically to talk about females who I deem to be younger women, and I speak of “women” in a different way. As my wife likes to say: before her, I dated “girls” (or chicks). Does the same apply to the male gender - are male “chicks” defined by the word “guy” or “dude?”
What do you think, and do you even care to be mixed up in this wordiness?
haha ok i have pondered over commenting for a couple of days. i think really, if he is friends with her it’s a whole different dynamic and no offense necissary! how is that for adding complexity? i mean if YOU are offended for yourself, i can understand that. if you think you should be offended for her sake, nah! she knows him and has decided to be friends with his personality too - she can stick up for herself
personally - i feel like having another guy ’stick up for me’ or ‘rescue’ me is more insulting than being called a ‘chick’
Kate | February 14th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
I’m in line with Kate here in that I’ve waited to comment. I also agree that if she’s his friend then I’m sure there was no offense meant nor would any be taken.
However, I’ll let a dude stick up for me if he wants. Then I’ll kick his @##…just kidding.
There are so many layers to that word and it’s not nearly as derogatory as other terms. I wouldn’t be offended, no matter how it was said to me.
Mandy | February 15th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
I say the fact that they are friends rules out any need to be offended. If there were no friendship in play here though…well…then yes I would have politely commented that chicks and dudes all have bad days and nobody is immune from going off the cuff from time to time.
KathyHowe | February 16th, 2008 at 4:03 am
Age does play into it. If someone called me a chick, I’m sure it wouldn’t be complimentary. When I hear someone start with, “Well, one player in this story just happened to be a woman…” I stop them. If gender is relevant, the pronoun “she” will establish it just as well as the other, more uncomfortable phrase. But for a man to tacitly agree with the use of the phrase — yes, it’s more complicated than a blog comment box can handle. There may be backstory.
Daisy | February 16th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
For me, “Chick” wasn’t the offensive part of that statement at all. The rest of it was.
“She’s a chick, so she’ll flip out once in awhile,” equals “women tend to get all emotional/angry/upset for no reason” and “and then she calms down” equals “it doesn’t matter, don’t take her seriously.”
Would he have ever said of a male customer, “well, he’s a guy, so he’ll flip out once in awhile…”? And would his statement be any more acceptable if he had said “woman” or “female” instead of “chick”?
Now, to give him the benefit of the doubt here: Maybe, since this particular customer is a friend of his, he was speaking with first-hand knowledge of her personality, and not in a backhanded way about women in general. But I doubt it.
Lylah | February 18th, 2008 at 1:37 am
As Lylah says, it was the rest of the comment, not the chick part, that was offensive.
spacegeek | February 22nd, 2008 at 9:52 pm