So we’re moving. At the end of this month. For the fourth time in the last five years. (Yes, I know, don’t remind me.)

And as we gather ourselves - mentally - and our stuff - physically - I started to think about the last few months and what tasks/responsibilities my wife held down (most) and what I did (whatever was left). And then last night “The Break-Up” was on HBO and that great scene where Aniston wants Vaughn to want to do the dishes, or at least offer to do the dishes.

“Why would I want to do dishes?” he says, so honestly.

And my wife turned to me and said: “Please apologize for your kind.”

It was then that I tried to decide what us men are really good for.

Here’s what I came up with:

1. Opening jars.
2. Reaching things that are located in high places.
3. Killing bugs.
4. Taking out the garbage.
5. Excelling at random trivia (usually sports and other mundane topics).
6. Carrying heavy items.
7. Replacing batteries in child’s toys.
8. Barbecue cooking skills.
9. Making pasta and scrambled eggs (though not always).
10. Growing hair in unexpected places on the human body.
11. Producing farm-animal-like odors and sweat levels (in humid weather).
12. Wearing down toothbrushes to unusable bristle levels.
13. Wearing heinous underwear (including plaid boxer shorts).
14. Winning state-fair belching contests.
15. Laundry.
16. (The illusion of) home maintenance expertise.
17. Athletic prowess.
18. Lightheartedness.
19. Ignorance.
20. Emotional Immaturity.
21. Facial Hair Fun.
22. Strength.
23. Technological Savvy.
24. Useless list creation.

25. And what would you like to add?