So the truth has emerged (and I am hoping that no one from my office actually reads this blog).

Last week while we moved, I missed a few days worth of emails, and when I emerged from beneath the pile of boxes, I had a couple hundred messages waiting for me, including a few from anxious clients, to whom I replied quickly and apologetically. I also had one from a particularly prickly colleague who was lashing out at me for not replying to one specific client sooner (and he had cc’ed about half the company, including all of our senior management). I had a combative phone call with him and he apologized, with no real damage done.

I spoke to the client and all has been smoothed over.

But then, I had a subsequent conversation with another colleague who mentioned something interesting: the “Big Boss” had been recently questioning the behavior of certain parents in our group, specifically why we were out, leaving early, or coming in late. Interesting.

So of course, neither the prickly colleague nor the Big Boss has kids - I firmly believe that if they did, they would understand that life with even one child - especially a toddler/preschooler - is not an easy juggle, even moreso when moving, and there would be some laxness there. But alas, this is not the case, and both of these guys have their girlfriends and their jobs and that’s pretty much it.

Sure, they talk a good game to all of us parents about how they can be flexible about not traveling too much or allowing for sick days or school closings or doctor’s appointments, but until you’re a parent, you don’t know what it’s like, and finally, some true colors have begun to emerge.

I have one particular colleague with twin girls who leaves early quite frequently to relieve the nanny because his wife tends to work late - and I have overheard many folks sigh, with the implication that he doesn’t work as many hours and is therefore deemed a “slacker.”

This seems to be an ongoing tug of war - senior folks presenting the ruse of flexibility, but when pressed, the truth comes out. Fortunately for me, one notch below The Boss is a good guy who happens to have two kids and who has been home frequently when they have been sick, so if our loyalties or individual work ethics are questioned, he knows what it’s like and is a frequent defender, always assured that we get our work done even when not physically in the office (sometimes Blackberrys are very useful devices).

I am by no means expecting special treatment as a working parent, but what I don’t like here is the double standard: pretending to allow parents the flexibility to work from home and go to appointments and then secretly holding it against us when we take advantage of the proposed flexibility. But is any company really that flexible?

How flexible is your work environment for REAL?