It seems that if you look back across the landscape of American mass culture of family sitcoms (which obviously perfectly reflected life at the time - Growing Pains, anyone?), you actually see families where the fathers are stern, but the mothers “run” the household. When the kids mis-behave, the threat is always: “Just wait until I tell your father…”

So what’s changed, if anything?

Well, for one thing, the concept of the “traditional” family has nearly disappeared, and with it the family sitcom (and it seems to have been replaced by endless crime dramas). This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I always found sitcoms like “The Cosby Show” interesting because you could analyze the dynamics; in the Huxtable household, Cliff was always the deviant and humorous one, and it was his wife Claire who ran that house and had her husband on a short leash.

These days, it seems, men (myself included) have become more metrosexual, less the disciplinarian and more the co-parent. And while women have exploded into the workforce in the last few decades and established themselves as equals in the office, they have also maintained their prominence at home, so whatever “typical” male-female roles existed back in the 50s and 60s no longer apply.

In our home, I am definitely the softer one, and our daughter knows it, so when she does something wrong, she likes to run to daddy. Of course, this inequality is tricky and somewhat harmful because it causes the disciplinarian parent to feel guilty. Unfortunately, I try to compensate for this by sometimes overreacting, and finding this balance is not always easy (especially given that our daughter can cry at the drop of a stuffed animal).

But how we discipline our children is quite important, and to do it cooperatively and in as equal a manner as possible; that said, typically one parent tends to emerge as the disciplinarian, even in the idyllic home of Branjelina - and I can totally see Brad being that sheepish playmate while Angie tries to crack the whip.

For many fathers, it’s simply much easier to be the playmate, and we allow the mother to “mother” the kids and set the rules. Growing up, my father had much more of a temper, but it was my mom who did most of the whip-cracking, and I think that is still the trend.

Do you agree? And how do you manage discipline in your house?

Putting aside the most important election of our collective lifetimes, the fact that our economy is in shambles, winter is fast approaching here in New England, and Tom Brady is out for the season, I would like to lighten things up here and help you cool-ify your guy.

Okay, where do we start?

I. Well, first thing is first - the stroller.

Okay, I am biased here because we were fortunate enough to have generous grandparents that bought us a hot little red Bugaboo when our daughter was born, and I admit, it was COOL. Of course, all the newer models are even cooler, but I felt cool enough. I am not recommending or encouraging that you go out and spend the insane amount of money it costs so you can shuttle around little Jimmy, but it is something that you use all the time, so it might make sense. (Note: there are a ton of new Bugaboo knock-offs, like Mutsy, that look really cool and cost less, sometimes way less).

II. Next, all fathers must have a pair of cargo pants, they just do.

III. For the top half, we all need some super-funky t-shirts, and the best place for that is the Japanese locale Uniqlo - oh yes.

IV. We all need those casual sneaker things, and I (or my wife and her incomparable fashion sense) lean on endless.com to find them.

V. So we can strut the diaper bag in style, my fav is Skip Hop, and it’s got all the right pockets for all that endless stuff that we lug around.

VI. Now that we’ll be shopping more often, this shopping list will come in handy and make us feel cooler than a crumpled piece of paper.

VII. No cool list would be complete without this - every guy wants one, but us dads need to stay ultra-organized, so what better way to do it than by keeping everything on one device. (Pretty, please?)

So hook your guy up, cause he’s worth it, and let me know: what else would you put on this list?

Oh boy.

“Luca has a penis, but I don’t.”

The blood slowly seeps out of my face. Fainting…

But the real dating that has occurred lately in our family is that nerve-wracking dating game that the parents of preschoolers play.

We do the playdate, maybe a “safe” brunch at a kid-friendly restaurant, and then you graduate to dinner, but only if both parents enjoy one another’s company.

And what are the odds of that?

I mean, the mothers getting along and the fathers getting along? Probably.

But all four highly evolved creatures of habit able to coexist, not to mention the children playing in harmony - we’re talking some pretty low probabilities here.

And yet, we are social creatures, so we continue the dating dance, desperately seeking that perfect couple whose interests match yours and whose child is the ideal playmate for your own.

So how do you navigate the parental dating scene?

Are we men that inept, so unnecessary at home that not a word has been mentioned about the time that Obama has to spend at home with his young daughters and all the freakin’ press in the word focuses on Palin and her five offspring?

So be warned: I am offended.

OF COURSE there is a double-standard here.

Did you know that McCain has 4 kids in his current marriage and 3 from a previous one? (You may have seen this little fact in the CNN ticker during the RNC). That’s almost as many as Jon & Kate.

And one of them even wrote a loving book about him.

So why oh why is the mother the focal point of the family, the only one who can mother? I know we can’t produce breast milk, but us dads are parents, too, are we not?

No, I can’t do everything as well as my wife, and I am not denying that the mother is fundamental to the familial unit, but it somehow still shocks me that Obama can parade his young children on stage to prove that he’s a proud father, but not a one questions whether he has a shred of time to spend with them given that he is campaigning 25 hours a day on the road.

But when Palin is wheeled out, we all wonder how on earth she can be the VP and a mother to five at the same time? (And we all know the story of the youngest one.) I admit, it’s a compelling question, but it not only minimizes the father’s role in the family, it also piles more pressure on all of the working mothers out there.

What do you think - does Obama spend enough time with his kids? And - if elected - will Palin fail as a mother?

As we walked in the gate, three other couples with younger children were entering as well, and then I noticed that the three men were veering off into the abutting field, one of them with a football tucked under his arm.

And then, almost metaphorically, one of the three took off sprinting into the field…

My future Olympian and I had a catch, with me using the Dora the Explorer baseball glove and she instructing me on how to hold my hand. And I was in heaven. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t look over my shoulder to watch my fellow men flying across the field, unleashing spirals, and hauling in passes, laughing and panting.

When they returned to the playground to join their wives and toddlers, one of the guys (clearly talking about their “new” lives) said: “Yeah, the lifestyle change is ridiculous, sometimes I don’t even quite believe that it’s real.”

Of course, he meant that everything changes when you have a child. Everything. Including the time when you could just go out and play some ball with your guy-friends. And the funny thing is, ten minutes of throwing a football around can actually be very liberating. In fact, just watching those guys was liberating.

And then the Dora ball came rolling towards me and I grabbed it in the pink and powder blue mitt. And then she came running to me, screaming “Papi!” - I was in heaven again.

But there is something intangible and raw about the need for men to sweat.

So make sure your guy gets his guy time - we need it.

Oh, the horror.

So he has come to visit every year, but somehow, this was the year when it all changed.

Why, you ask?

Because this was the year when I found out that he was no longer a virgin. And he’s FOURTEEN.

This was the time when I found out that all his “dude” friends smoke or deal weed. (And I quote: “We have the best weed in Florida. If you came to visit, I would show you the best time.”)

This was the time when I saw his MySpace page and the pages of his 447 friends (He lists 17 as his age.)

And as I take all of this in - the girls he’s hitting on, the blunts he’s smoking, the apathy he’s projecting - all I can think of is: My daughter will soon be in the company of guys like this and I am absolutely petrified.

I have begun doing serious research into homeschooling.

And perhaps one of these will come in handy.

But, of course, we cannot stop the flow of time. One day - very soon, sooner than we want - our daughter will be there, a teenager, or even a “pre-teen” and we will have to have the drinking and smoking and sex talks. So basically I just want to freeze time because all the things that we think are difficult now as parents, that all goes out the window when you start talking about sex and drugs.

Above all, it scares me because I can still remember my own teenagehood (and some of it more vividly than I’d like) and it is frightening to think of trying to parent your own child through those tumultuous years.

Thank you for listening. I hope I can sleep tonight.

What do you think: If you have younger kids, does teenagerhood scare you? And if you have or had teenagers, how did it go?

Last week while we moved, I missed a few days worth of emails, and when I emerged from beneath the pile of boxes, I had a couple hundred messages waiting for me, including a few from anxious clients, to whom I replied quickly and apologetically. I also had one from a particularly prickly colleague who was lashing out at me for not replying to one specific client sooner (and he had cc’ed about half the company, including all of our senior management). I had a combative phone call with him and he apologized, with no real damage done.

I spoke to the client and all has been smoothed over.

But then, I had a subsequent conversation with another colleague who mentioned something interesting: the “Big Boss” had been recently questioning the behavior of certain parents in our group, specifically why we were out, leaving early, or coming in late. Interesting.

So of course, neither the prickly colleague nor the Big Boss has kids - I firmly believe that if they did, they would understand that life with even one child - especially a toddler/preschooler - is not an easy juggle, even moreso when moving, and there would be some laxness there. But alas, this is not the case, and both of these guys have their girlfriends and their jobs and that’s pretty much it.

Sure, they talk a good game to all of us parents about how they can be flexible about not traveling too much or allowing for sick days or school closings or doctor’s appointments, but until you’re a parent, you don’t know what it’s like, and finally, some true colors have begun to emerge.

I have one particular colleague with twin girls who leaves early quite frequently to relieve the nanny because his wife tends to work late - and I have overheard many folks sigh, with the implication that he doesn’t work as many hours and is therefore deemed a “slacker.”

This seems to be an ongoing tug of war - senior folks presenting the ruse of flexibility, but when pressed, the truth comes out. Fortunately for me, one notch below The Boss is a good guy who happens to have two kids and who has been home frequently when they have been sick, so if our loyalties or individual work ethics are questioned, he knows what it’s like and is a frequent defender, always assured that we get our work done even when not physically in the office (sometimes Blackberrys are very useful devices).

I am by no means expecting special treatment as a working parent, but what I don’t like here is the double standard: pretending to allow parents the flexibility to work from home and go to appointments and then secretly holding it against us when we take advantage of the proposed flexibility. But is any company really that flexible?

How flexible is your work environment for REAL?

And then there was me and my brother: our father (not mother) drove up in his slightly rickety van, which frequently had a ladder or two on top - depending on which jobsite he happened to be working that day - and we would go back to our more urban multi-family house (on whose street I was mugged at age 11).

Well, the times they are a changin’…

Next week, my family will be moving into one of the very suburban neighborhoods that my grade-school classmates once called home, where I never thought I would find myself. And it is at once exciting and curious - certainly a grand departure from my parents’ life (though they are staunchly happy folk).

Now don’t get me wrong, my family was not poor by any stretch, but we were just unconventional - my father had his own construction business, so he was the one who did the carpooling, cooking, etc. while my mother worked at her office all day, sometimes very long days. And this was in complete contrast to most of my private-school cronies; of course, once I hit public high school, the equation changed and nearly all of my classmates’ mothers worked as well.

And that sense of equality was relieving to me. I didn’t like living in a world where everyone was notably wealthier than my family and that I seemed to be the odd one out: I remember one time I went to a classmate’s Bar Mitzvah wearing pants (khakis) that my mother said would be fine, but I was teased because they were not dressy enough (I LOVED seventh grade) and I made my mother take me to Brooks Brothers the next day so I could wear an outfit to the next country-club bash that was tease-proof.

And yet, we will be moving into one of the least expensive homes in our new neighborhood, where our new neighbors will surely pull in larger paychecks and drive more cars, and go to exotic vacation destinations. I bet many of the wives will not work while their financier/lawyer/doctor husbands make the moola - and it may very well feel like I am back where I grew up, except in some sort of bizarro way because we are not “poor” by any stretch, but we also ain’t rich like many of our fellow suburbanites.

So I wonder what will happen, whether we’ll feel uncomfortable; whether I will feel awkward talking to the multi-millionaire down the street, even though our kids will be in the same kindergarten class. Basically, as the divide between rich and poor grows, so does the divide between well-off (not really “rich”) and super-rich.

Talk to me: Do you have friends (do your kids have friends or classmates) that are notably wealthier, and is it an issue? What your thoughts here?

Of course, my sweet tooth gets me into serious trouble, especially when the day after the party I have to put on my swimsuit and hit the local lake, shirtless. Yikes. (No pic of that, sorry.)

So what is one to do, exercise self-restraint? Not a chance.

I have decided that us parents need to realize and respect the fact that all of that leftover cake and ice cream gets eaten by the other parents, and the last thing we needed is to add endless empty calories to our diet, especially during the summer. (Trust me, my wife reminds me every day that I look “pudgy”).

So here are some suggestions for all you party-planners out there on how to satisfy both the attending kids and their high-sugar expectations and their parents, who love the sugar but not the calories that come with it:

1. Tofutti - oh yes. I grew up macrobiotic, so this stuff is like second-nature to me. They’ve changed the packaging, but it’s still tofu masquerading as ice cream. A winner!

2. Jell-O - who doesn’t love Jell-O? It comes in endless colors and you can even suspend fruit in it.

3. Low-calorie cake - this is kind of like what I had as a child; fat-free cream cheese frosting, made with fat-free sour cream. The kids are sure to love it!

4. Big boxes of raisins - nature’s candy.

5. Whole Wheat Vegetable Pizza - no more high-fat, high-carb, white-flour stuff, this recipe is a guarantee to have them asking for seconds!

I am hoping someone takes me up on at least one of these suggestions, and in the meantime, I am checking the mailbox twice daily for the next invitation.

How do you stay fit amidst the temptation of cake and ice cream? And any healthy suggestions that you have used to not over-sugar the kids?

Pretty cool, eh?

Well, what’s not so cool is this: when another big tech company decides to give working parents a seriously raw deal on their daycare - click here to read all about it.

The company? Google (maybe you’ve heard of them?)

You can go and read all the sordid details, if you haven’t already, but the gist is that the daycare used to be affordable and now it’s not. Like really a lot more expensive.

And why does this really tick me off? Because I now work for a very big company and we’re headed into an economic downturn and I am worried that benefits that I took for granted to always be there might go away and will seriously impact my family’s monthly expenses.

My company in no way offers anything near the deal that Google offers its employees; we just have the flexible spending plan, which is nice because it saves us a bit of money using pre-tax bucks and something that I didn’t have at some of my smaller companies. But this situation, which Google has brushed away as a minor issue, is not so small when you have kids.

The larger problem for me is the (unspoken) perception and attitude about how parent employees are more of a drain on the company because they are more demanding, use more health care, and are thus more expensive to employ (and I think at a tech firm, where the employee base tends to be much younger and kid-less, this may be more of an issue).

For example, when we had our orientation into our new, behemoth company with our new HR staff, someone asked if there was paternity leave. The answer was a defiant no. And this caused many grumblings in the audience (where there were at least three new fathers-to-be).

Don’t get me wrong, I realize we live in the fabulous US of A, where many new mothers barely get paid maternity at their companies, so fathers - fuggedaboutit. But still, certain expectations are borne at big companies, particularly billion-dollar ones that have professed to want to “take care” of their employees. But the reality is always much different.

And the reality in Google’s case was that day care as a benefit to employees was costing them way too much to subsidize, so they turned the tables and are basically screwing their working-parent employees. And all those parents have no choice but to pony up the cash (if they can even make it off the waitlist and into the super-elitist preschool) or go find someplace else.

What do you do for day care, and how does your company help, if at all?