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So I was listening to a Mom Talk Radio podcast today that spoke with the author of ScreamFree Parenting, Hal Runkel.

Man - did I feel inadequate!  It seems all I do is scream lately!  My 3 year old son has decided that he doesn't want to listen at all, and when you finally get his attention to send him to his room or time out or {good heavens} spank him, he talks back and throws some pretty good fits!  No punishment seems to faze him right now.  Then there's my 6 year old daughter who thinks she's too cool for us - rolls her eyes, argues, stomps off when she doesn't get her way (can't wait for those teenage years!).  Of course - the baby just smiles and giggles when we yell at the other two....wonder what that means?

Anyway - what the author said made a lot of sense - he said that when we let ourselves lose control like that we are teaching them it is ok.  That we should give them clear choises and follow through with those choices - this will teach them that their actions (or lack thereof) will result in consequences (and not just making mom mad!)

So I came home today determined not to yell at my kids.  So when my son decided he wanted a present we had gotten for a friend I calmy told him to put it down and explained what it was for.  He picked it up again.  My husband told him to put it down.  Next thing I know, my husband took the present from him (my son had started opening it) and screamed at him to go to bed!  Of course my son collapsed in a heap on the floor screaming back!  I calmy went over to my son and had him validate why he was in trouble - he agreed that he didn't follow the rules.  Then I took him to his room and asked him to sit on his bed for 3 minutes since he broke the rules.  He agreed.  Of course the minute I left the room he came out - so I calmy sent him back - when he started throwing a fit I just said ok - now it's 4 minutes.  We'll add a minute everytime you fuss like that, do you understand?  He nodded his head, quieted down and went to his room.  He still poked his head out a few times, but by the time the 4 minutes where up, he was better, and I wasn't stressed at all!  Normally I would've screamed, he would've screamed back, someone would've gotten a spanking...you know the drill!