In Part 1 of “Adult Child Living at Home?” Debbie Pincus talked about the things you can—and can’t—control when your older kids move home—or when they’ve never left. In Part 2 of this hands-on series, Debbie advises parents on what to do before your child moves home, and how to handle it when the living situation isn’t working out.
What’s the golden rule of living with an adult child in the home? Clarify your expectations. This requires honest communication. Represent yourself honestly and openly as a parent. Do you expect your child to do housework, contribute to groceries and bills, and pay rent while he stays with you? How long are you willing to let him live in your home? Will he have access to your car? And what do you need to see him do in terms of job hunting, if he’s unemployed? Really think through what you want and what you’re willing to put up with, and then talk it through. If your child is to have the gift of living back home, so to speak, he also has a responsibility in the areas of courtesy, housework and possibly finances. Those are things that need to be discussed openly and honestly with your child.