Being realistic when you are a planning over-achiever with big, sweet dreams
- I love you Rosie
Here it is for the world to read. I will say it out loud as I type, to carry the point to my poor little psyche.
My name is Elaine Griffin and I am an organized disaster.
A hot mess in an old dress. Which is actually a nightgown I have had has since I was 12.
I am currently in the final throws of what has been a two-year get this shit organized so you can achieve the success of your dreams campaign. As I near my goal of being organized and ready to take on the world, I realize there is something amiss. I left myself behind somewhere in that organization and planning. I have left no time for life.
The truth is, like most women, I am too hard on myself. I have unrealistic short-term goals. I abuse my body, mind, and my nerves, which affects everyone around me, and makes me feel trapped and inadequate, and perpetuates a cycle of self-loathing followed by planning followed by…. It's vicious.
All of this preparation is my sanity, in a way. So here I am, once again, and now I’m putting an end to the cycle with the realization that I’m great at identifying what I want and planning how to get it all. I make lists. I know what to do and how to do it.
But my execution sucks.
I have identified the three main things I want from life. I’m pretty sure most women want these things too. I want to:
- be the best person I can be – to myself and my family
- have a successful career
- have a perfect body
I can totally plan how to do this. To be better. To be the best. But can I execute it without killing myself and everyone around me? Hell NO. So it’s not even worth discussing. Or thinking about. Or especially planning.
Thankfully I’m learning, with the help of my friends, how to be realistic. I have learned that I actually have and am these things. My husband loves me, my kids think I’m the best mother, in spite of my epic fails
. And I work my ass off on my career. Success in all three arenas.
So here is what I have decided to do to make me feel better about me.
The new big, sweet dreams
The first thing I am going to do is give myself a little wiggle room during the day and spend more quality time with my kids. Which means not planning quite so much during the week, and I’m going to forgive myself if some things take longer or I decide to do something else, and the listed tasks don’t get done. I’m not going to sit and stare at my list and fret about it. Will I keep re-writing my lists? Oh hell yes. But I will use them as a gentle reminder about what I would like to accomplish, not what I HAVE to accomplish or I will simply cease surviving. I also am not working on the weekend anymore. It’s stressing me out. It’s stressing everyone out. And I need some time to do fun things I like, so I can be a happy girl, a happy wife, a happy mom, and a success in my job.