UGH my kid is the bully!!!
Well I am sitting at work (not really working) and I am stressing out over the fact that my son has gotten into the habit of hitting, pinching, pushing and choaking his "friends" at daycare. It started about a week and a half ago totally out of the blue. I had to sign an incident report at the daycare because Dominic pushed a little girl by the throat. My first thought was that is not like Dominic, he would not just go up to a peer for no reason and "choke" them. Of course this happens on a Friday when David (my hubby) picks him up, he doesnt really pay attention to papers he kinda just grabs them and runs. So since it was late when I got home and the daycare was already closed I had to wait until monday to talk to thme about it. Monday rolls around and I ask if anyone knows why he did it and everyone is kinda like me "thats so not like him" "i have never seen him act out" but no one really knew WHY so they said they would look into it and have an answer when I pick him up. So when I get there in the afternoon I have another letter saying that he was pushing and hitting his friends, so I went to talk to the director about the incident on friday and today multiple incidents and they say that they were all outside playing and he just went up to the little girl and pushed her by her throat, and todays incident was pretty much the same situation he is doing it for no reason. But then they tell me that he is a really bright kid and they want to move him up to the next class that he is probably bored so he is acting out, so my reaction is GREAT, an easy fix. Boy was I wrong.
They started moving him up last wednesday, and he did fine in the older class but was still being the bully in his original class. This is the first full week he has been in the preschool class where he is the youngest, most of the kids are already 3 so he is a good 2 months younger then his classmates. Which I have to say I was kinda hoping that there would be one kid who would give him a taste of his own medicine if he tried to bully them, but that is not the case. He did ok the first 2 days this week and then yesterday he was pinching and hitting and would not listen to the teachers.
Now everyone keeps telling me its the age, and that its normal. But i can't help but feel like its something that I am doing or not doing.I just wish that someone could tell me exactly what happens before he starts becoming violent towards his peers. Dominic does have a bad temper,but we are working on that. He used to throw tantrums for a good hour and i have gotten it to the point where i can get him under control is less then a min. I tried the whole ignoring it thing and well that didnt work at all he would just yell louder and longer until he made himself sick or passed out from exhaustion. So now what we do is deep breathing, I make him take a deep breath and reason with him, and now he does it on his own. I hear him when he is playing and he gets frustrated he starts taking big deep breaths and then will come and ask me for help. So I know that if I know WHAT is causing him to hit that we can work on the correct ways to handle it. I know he is only 2 going on but I think it is important for him to know that his actions impact everyone not just him. When he does throw fits and we have to leave someplace I make him appoligize to everyone in our group and he does (a little humility won't hurt anyone).I also reason with him and give him options, so that way he can make the decision himself. My mom tells me all the time that he is only 2 but i think if you treat him like a baby he is going to act like a baby, i have seen a big differance in his attitude since I started making him accountable for his actions and teaching him how to compose himself enough to ask for help. I jsut feel like if I knew why he was hitting I could work on that with him. Other then telling him that he should not do that.