Friday night we went to see some friends who just had their first baby. We were chatting and the inevitable conversation came up of how many kids we wanted and what the spacing would be. I'm sure lots of families struggle with this question, but I always feel like I'm the only one hemming and hawing through my answer. My friends seem so decisive when it comes to talking about more kids, but I just don't know. One thing I'm pretty sure that I know is that I want at least one more kid...although sometimes I fantisize about lavishing all my love on babyjama alone.
On the other hand, I'm not sure when I want to have this "other" kid. Before we were married, my husband and I planned on having 2-3 kids 2 years apart. Well, the time has come to start trying if we want to actually do that, and we have no plans for that...I mean NO PLANS. I'm just not ready to have another baby yet. Not ready for those first exhausted months of pregnancy, followed by the very hormonal months of pregnancy, followed by the very uncomfortable months of pregnancy, followed by a screaming baby. I know I'm thinking of the worst parts of motherhood, but I really don't know how I would be able to have two tiny kids at home and work and keep our household going.
Anyway, so the immediate plan is to wait another year. I'm not sure I'll be ready then, but as I said I'm pretty sure that we want this second baby, and I want to get the baby/toddler years over with...man this post is starting to sound negative. What I mean is that I really enjoy my time at home with babyjama right now, and I want to be home for the early years of the next one too. However, I'd like some of those years to overlap so that I'm not missing out on the work-force so much.
So yes, I guess I'm trying to plan kids around my sanity and working, and taking those both into consideration, I think we're looking at a 3 year age gap between kids.
Now onto the next part of the dilemma. My husband is a teacher and we had babyjama in early June. It was absolutely perfect. He was able to spend all summer helping out around the house, and bonding with babyjama. It couldn't have been more perfect! So now, we want to have another early summer baby...The only problem is that I was asked to be in an out of town wedding in May of 2010...And if my calculations are correct that would put me at around 8 months pregnant. It just goes to show that you can't try and plan everything out I guess. Maybe we'll try for an early July 2010 baby?