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After several months of looking my husband and I are finally in the lovely position of making career decisions. We have both been looking and finally have some decisions to make, which I guess is better than not having one. And I am struggling with how to balance our individual wants and needs with the needs of the other and our family. We essentially each have an offer in different cities/states.

My opportunity is a good one for me. It pays enough for us to survive and I could start before the end of the month. It is near my family which would be great for our daughter. It does require us to move which poses the problem. We have to deal with our house, which probably won't sell for months at best. Then there is the issue of my husband. He has been home for awhile and really needs to work. There are some possible opportunities there, but all would require a long commute and none are definite.

My husbands opportunity was a bit of a surprise. We didn't think it was a possibility but he as an opportunity here. It isn't the job he really wanted, but it would allow him to the type of work he enjoys. It would pay well. I have something that I could probably continue doing part time or full time and am talking to some other folks here. No moving, no issues with 2 house payments. The downside is it isn't the job he really wanted and at this time it is a probably not a definitely and we don't know when he would be able to start. I have possibilities too, but nothing definite. And we would stay here, 6-12 hours from all family with an awful commute.

At this point neither seems ideal. Either way one of us is struggling to figure out what to do next. I really thought I would follow him at first, until I realized how bad the industry he is in was hit. Now, I want to be a little selfish - but know that in the long run I will be happier doing what is best for all of us, not just me. I'm just not sure I know what it is. Neither does he, especially since we had pretty much decided we were moving and then were hit with this new possibility.

I know that I am not alone and many others have had to make similar decisions. In the end we will be alright. Recently I have realized how important it to me for both of us to work. I love knowing that I can support our family, but with this comes the parts I don't love like this decision.