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I am a crank

My notes are never positive.  I am really not that miserable.  I am just under so much stress. My plan this year was to tutor in the evenings. I four clients and two of them are only occasionally. Ok, that doesn't cut it.  I am waitressing a little. The money can be good, but I only work two nights. I am nervous about trying a busy Friday or Saturday. I am in the process of picking up some babysitting occasionally during the day with my daughter here as well.  The financial pressure is killing me. I waited too long to get an additional job, hoping the tutoring would work out. I just did another mail out, and I have tried to advertise. I have spent some money advertising, but it is so expensive.  People seem to cutting back on things like tutors due to heating costs etc.  My family is dealing with a lot with my grandmother so sick. My daughter's birthday is tomorrow, and I should be so much more excited. We are having a party this weekend. I don't feel like a party right now. My grandmother can't even be there.   The worst part is that I feel like I always take the stress out on my husband.  Just needed to vent. Thanks.