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Do you feel sexy after having kids?

  • I had a conversation with a friend recently and she said that after having her son (he is 2) she doesn't really feel sexy often. I asked her whether this is because of the ways her body has changed -- which, frankly, I don't think it has and she looks great -- or because she is tired a lot. She said it was both -- and also the fact that she is always running around, with not time to relax and actually feel herself in her own body.

    I thought this was an interesting point. What about you? Has having kids affected how you feel as a woman?
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 3rd January 2008
  • There were times when my libido took a nosedive - but for the most part I feel pretty darn good for having had three kids and I'm more comfortable with my body than I was before having kids.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Patrysha Korchinski on 3rd January 2008
  • yes and no... i think i feel better about my body even though it has changed (and not for the better! lol but that's my own fault, not my sons!) but the really hard part is having time to just chill and relax and 'get in the mood'

    when you go from working, to child care, to working, to laundry, to working, etc. when you finally get into bed (after folding and putting away laundry or stacking it on the dresser, my favorite method!) and he turns and says 'hey you wanna?' and all you can think is 'omg i only have 5 hours to sleep' usually the answer is a chortle and roll over to get some shut eye so you can hang onto that last bit of sanity.

    wow, i need date night LOL we were doing a lot better when we set aside an evening once a week to watch a movie together, snuggle and NOT work/clean/whatever for 2 hours. Works best on a friday, that way even if you can't sleep in you can nap on saturday when the kid naps

    forwhatever reason, this seems harder to implement as they get older
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 3rd January 2008
  • NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I have gained alot of weight along with the 4 kids I have. I know my size and so does my hubby but no matter what he thinks...he still makes me feel like a sexy "you know what"
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by cathicollins on 3rd January 2008
  • I agree with your friend, for the reasons that she stated. I was a bit nervous with how I looked post-baby (after gaining 45 lbs). Just recently (4.5 months later) I've begun to relax, and think that this is in part due to me nearing my pre-baby weight. I delayed intimacy for a long time after delivery because I wasn't very confident. My sweet husband was incredibly patient and supportive. Now, the only thing that s a little weird is our different approach to my breasts. They get enough action with my son's tight latch during nursing that I would prefer that they otherwise be left alone.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 3rd January 2008
  • Less sexy, definitely. I think physical changes have a huge impact--but Nataly's friends comment about not feeling herself in her body is SOOO true..I often feel like there are so many demands on my time, and on my body (everyone needs to touch me, hug me etc) that I seem to have lost that total ownership thing..i wouldn't change it..but that 'loss of body' has had a definite psychological impact on me.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by OliveMartini on 4th January 2008
  • I feel like I'm starting to get back to feeling sexy. This might sound strange, but I saw my body in the mirror last weekend and for the first time in a long time I didn't want to suck in. I just felt good.

    I'm having a really hard time reconciling my two identities. I am still a very young woman, but I'm somebody's mom too. So I want to feel sexy, but I don't want to look like a teenager...I don't really know how to reconcile the two.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by mamajama on 4th January 2008
  • I'm more comfortable in my body than ever, but I still (2 YEARS later) haven't gotten my libido back to pre-child levels. So I feel more sexy, but less interested in sex. How does that work?!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by heels on 4th January 2008
  • I've always been sexually self-confident. Feeling sexy has never been an issue -- even when I was nine months pregnant! With my third child, I felt incredibly sexy all through my pregnancy, and with all three we'd resumed our normal pattern within a couple of months. But, like Heels, these days I find I can feel sexy yet not be interested in sex. It is weird.

    (I can't blame the kids for this: my youngest is 14! Years, not months.)
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaryP on 5th January 2008
  • I've had zero self confidence my whole life. It's just recently where I've actually felt confident, sexy, sometimes smart, cute, etc.

    When I was teen it was awful, I got married at 19, had dd at 20 and was in a deep depression and had no libido for a number of years (actually until I got pregnant with the boy 6 years later). I'm now going to be 32 and I'm finally semidemipseudo comfortable in my own skin. I don't look any different than I did when I was younger I just realized I felt this way because I wasn't the center of attention. I felt invisible. I just decided you know what, I'm not invisible, and I'm not going to change myself just to get some attention from people I really don't care for anyway.

    ok I rambled and it wasn't even a coherenet ramble but oh well hehe
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaryM on Friday

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