MamaJama, I think you are right on. I learned from watching my friends that got married before me that the quickest way to do all the housework by yourself is to criticize the way your husband does it. I sacrificed THREE - count 'em THREE cashmere sweaters to my husband learning to do my laundry - and I didn't criticize, and I always thanked him, and now he does 90% of our laundry - CORRECTLY! It is a beautiful thing. SO worth 3 sweaters! Also, I have lost 3 wine glasses to the dishes cause, but hey - I look at it like this - if I could pick between a few ruined clothes, or broken glasses and no help, I choose help. Some people can't take the damage though, so it's a personal choice. Of course, maybe I just have a wonderful husband!
Also, HUGE disclaimer - we have a cleaning lady that takes care of the windows, floors, dusting, and major bathroom scrubbing. If we didn't, the house would go to seed.