Hi, Amber, welcome to Work It, Mom! I think you'll find a lot of good information, advice, and support here... we're all in the same (or similar) boat!
I'm having a hard time with daycare right now, too -- my 15-month old, who has been in care for 7 months now, suddenly doesn't want me to leave him there. He cries, he clings, my heart breaks... I know he's in good hands, but this is killing me right now. Does your day care let you check in? Pick up or drop off early or late some days? How long has your daughter been in care? I do think that it is, in some ways, just as hard -- or harder -- on the parents while the kids adjust.
Pumping at work and breast feeding... I could go on and on and on, but instead I'll give you a few links to some great advice and discussions we've had here at Work It, Mom.
A few discussion threads about pumping:
A great, great article by relaxnsmile, about how she managed it (and questions and answers about it):http://www.workitmom.com/article-1595
Another great article, one member's personal experience: http://www.workitmom.com/article-637
A primer on different kinds of pumps: http://www.workitmom.com/article-1966
Another article with tips: http://www.workitmom.com/article-370
The relationship question you ask is a really good one... I'll bet a lot of people are wondering the same thing. I'll post is as a separate thread, so it doesn't get lost in this one!