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Am I committed to saving our marriage enough for the both of us?

  • Hi, I just joined here and am looking for support. I work full time and am a mid level administrator at a Community College. My husband just finished his nursing degree this past June and went back to work in August after being laid off for a year and a half. Things are rocky for us. He works nights at one hospital, one day a week at another, and teaches a night class. We don't see much of eachother and he doesn't see much of the kids. I am committed to saving our marriage no matter what. We have two little boys and I have become their sole care taker since he works so much which is a huge adjustment for all of us. We barely talk about anything except for who is doing what with the kids. We used to be best friends. I don't think he is as committed as I am. Caring enough for the both of us is truly exhausting. He grew up with out a dad and my parents are still married so I feel like divorce isn't an option. But he doesn't think it would be that big a deal. I am not willing to uproot our whole lives because we are having a rough patch. I don't know how to make him see that we can get through this. I feel like I am living day to day right now not knowing what is going to happen and feeling so much stress it is unreal. I know you will all suggest counseling but I can barely get him home long enough to eat dinner, I don't see how we could fit that in. I just want to get through this and be done but don't know what to do.

    I am having a really hard time concentrating on my job with all of this stress at home. I feel like my kids are suffering because of it. It seems like my day to day life is faking it to get through each day. Has anyone lived through something like this and had their marriage survive on the other side? I'm torn in so many directions. He says that he feels "empty" inside, that I am not making him happy anymore. I personally don't think that is my responsibility. Do I love everything about him and every minute we spend together. Heck no! Half the time I don't even feel like I like him very much. But I don't want to give up on our life and our children. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Tiffany on 8th February 2011

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