Hi I just found this and can totally relate to your struggle. I had to return to full time work 3 years ago and am still kind of bitter.
my kids are 15, 12 & 10. Sounds easy but it's not because of their ages and maturity level they are too old for daycare too young to be totally on their own (15 year old not an appropriate sitter)
Anyway let me know if you'd like to talk more.